John Mayer is a cheap bastard

February 10th, 2009 // 53 Comments

John Mayer is a multimillion dollar recording artist, so you figure he’d get Jennifer Aniston something insane for her 40th birthday tomorrow. Like a robot butler. Turns out he’s unbelievably cheap and wrote her a song. Whee. People reports:

John Mayer has prepared his own serenade to help his girlfriend celebrate the big 4-0.
“He did write a special song just for her for her birthday,” a source tells PEOPLE of the Grammy winner. No word yet on his performance!

Although, in John Mayer’s defense, Jennifer Aniston is old and going to die soon. So why throw away money in this economy?

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. haz_cheezburger

    shoulda given aniston a cheezburger

  2. John mayer you are a fag, and your music blows.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IrvkOlRqYA

  3. THIRD!!!

    John Mayer is the picture definition of a Turd Sandwich….

    Hilarious video about Larry Flint’s PORNO BAILOUT (beware the dude with the mustache):

    http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/6/larry-flints-porno-bailout.html

  4. p0nk

    wtf is up with the Mennonite frock coat?

  5. Jennifer Aniston

    “Well…umm…John…’Your Body is a Desert’…thanks for the song…but, um, didn’t you forget the second ‘s’? No?”

  6. pete

    He’d have a much happier expression on his face if those trophies were penises.

  7. I keep feeling like I need to ask him what the soup of the day is…

  8. Aniston should dump Mayer and go out with Chris Brown. At least he would give her something to show off for her birthday.

  9. copycat

    “Hi, can you take these bags up to room 1217? What? Oh, sorry, Mr. Mayer…”

  10. M

    why does he have cargo pockets with his kimono top?

  11. SouthAfricanHotti

    Im so grateful for this website nd ur comments; it has just made me reaiise that u can never please people of the world…people always look for peoples flaws and not highlight their best attributes…….

    Thank U 4 making me comfortable in my own skin…
    i am happy with myself, and thats all that counts…not what ya’ll think

    Peace
    Im off to bed!

  12. Ya'll

    #11 – stfu you brown cow.

  13. 2for2true

    #11, try school instead of bed. Then you’ll realize how retarded your comments sound to anyone with an education higher than 5th grade.

  14. PunkA

    If a girl wrote me a song or a poem for my birthday, I;d say “thanks’ then ask what they really got me. What a lame, cheesy bastard he is. And the fact women eat that stuff up shows how ridiculous they are. Seriously.

  15. Samantha

    It’s romantic, all right, but I don’t know how sexy it would be since he’d be singing “your” song and you’d be smelling semen on his breath.

  16. is he really wearing cargo pants to the grammy’s?

  17. #11

    I can bet you’re some fat girl, who tries to act like you’re okay with being a fucking burden on everyones lives even though you are miserable. YOU’RE FAT, NO THAT’S NOTHING TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH. YOU’RE A BURDEN TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU. AND NO, PEOPLE DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

    LOSE WEIGHT AND STOP BEING PART OF THE OBESITY STATISTIC THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD MAKES FUN OF THE USA FOR.

  18. Max Planck

    Say, John, as long as your headed to the Thrift Store, could you drop me downtown on your way, thanks?

  19. Max Planck

    Say, John, as long as your headed to the Thrift Store, could you drop me downtown on your way, thanks?

  20. Pat

    In a related story, Tom Cruise gave a strapon to Katie Holmes on her birthday.

  21. SouthAfricanHotti

    #17

    Hi Don…..hmmm…im actually not FAT

    So please come up with another BS theory!

  22. SouthAfricanHotti

    #17

    Hi Don….ummmm…im actually not FAT

    So please come up with another BS theory!

  23. All of Us

    #22, we’d like you to have a necklace as a present, from all of us.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necklacing

  24. The Superficial Sucks

    Whoever wrote the commentary is a massive tool who mistakenly thinks all women are whores because he doesn’t have the goods. Why should John Mayer give her anything other then his good dick?

    That’s what women want–good dick and those who don’t have it have to pay for their pussy one way or the other.

  25. SouthAfricanHotti

    #23 thats not funny at all…lots of people died from that, how wud u ilke it if i made make funny remarks of 911?….

  26. the only reason john mayer is getting all of this attention is because of jen, so she deserves way more than a song for her birthday

    http://www.provocativeremarks.com

  27. 25. yea but we didnt bomb our own buildings. africans did that to africans… right?

  28. Stephen

    #25 – people from primitive countries are humorless. In the U.S. we love 9/11 jokes, like “9/11 proved that New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch.”

  29. Jesse

    #27 – actually it refers to black-on-black violence in South Africa, just like Chris Brown and Rihanna. Although, now that I think about it, that probably doesn’t prove that the two countries are similar as much as monkeys are the same the world over.

  30. mamamiasweetpeaches

    You know what sucks for her? She PROBABLY thinks he has a ring in his pocket! Every woman sorta thinks their boyfriend has an engagement ring hidden in his pocket on her irthday/anniversary/Christmas/New Years. Can you imagine thinking your boyfriend was gonna propose and instead he pulls out a guitar and starts tosing! LOL!
    Jon Mayer “giving” you a song is like if your boyfriend was a butcher and on your birthday he handed you nicely wrapped meat!

  31. SouthAfricanHotti

    #27 actually thats incorrect….get ur facts rite before u come make such flawed statements, stop reding wikipeadia n get a history book!
    #28 i wud rather b in a “primitive country” than being in one that waits for such an ordeal to unite them!

  32. The Spaniard

    What’s with that suit; looks like wardrobe from “Doctor No”.

    Didn’t writing a song for people die out once Patty Harrison didn’t care that Eric Clapton wrote “Layla” for her?

  33. georgia

    I’ll take a timeless song written by John Mayer anyday!!! …they don’t call this site ‘The Superficial’ for nothin’ ..

  34. georgia

    I’ll take a timeless song written by John Mayer anyday!!! …they don’t call this site ‘The Superficial’ for nothin’ ..

  35. joreb

    @ 3 hahaha

  36. man, if he wants to impress a girl he should give her a song written by someone other than john mayer

    http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/taunting

  37. 31. SouthAfricanHotti – February 10, 2009 2:26 PM

    #27 actually thats incorrect….get ur facts rite before u come make such flawed statements, stop reding wikipeadia n get a history book!

    That is why I made my statment as a question. But I took the liberty of reading up on it and its just one of many punishments made by africans TOO fellow africans. Very barbaric ways you guys got over there, but whatever floats your boat

  38. I think it is romantic of John to write a song for Jennifer. Paul McCartney wrote a song for Linda.

  39. Ben

    If John wants to impress Jen he should have giving her a Jason Mraz song. Jason’s are wayyyyy better than his.

  40. kate

    ^&)()Who cares! Just saw him appear on the FREE and HOT celebrities/rich men seeking affairs site ~~~ *******su g a rmingle. c o m ~~~ where you can meet many famous people and beauties. I have met my soul mate there. It is worthy of having a try.

  41. GG1000

    What could anyone possibly buy for JA that she couldn’t get for herself 10 times over on a whim. There’s a certain challenge in trying to get a gift for someone who’s capable of paying cash for a 15-bedroom place in Beverly Hills.

  42. superflous

    He didn’t need to write a special song for her 40th birthday. “Gravity” would do it.

  43. THANK GOD, jenn found the DILDO!!

  44. Tom

    So now we know he is cheap as well as a douche bag that still other people’s award. A narcissistic ba$tard would think he deserves awards when he didn’t work for them.

  45. auntmarie

    he looks like hes frozen after seeing his daddys crotch

  46. CrankyOldWoman

    Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
    Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y …
    Why? Because you’re

    Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
    (pause) Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
    Kelly of mine!

    Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine,
    Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine,
    … Mine!

  47. lawrence

    John is a handsome boy, also a great guy I want to marry~~~His profile is still available at Richromances.com, a site for millionaires, professionals and beautiful people. Is he still looking?

  48. Ryan the Canadian

    She’s 40 and worn. Pitt dropped her like the barren hag that she is. John should have written her a requiem and done her a favour by giving her a drano cocktail….

  49. Ryan the Canadian

    Lawrence @ 47- Go back to sweeping streets for a living you parasite……

  50. Jana

    This asshole just got a TV show now 2 2008 Grammys for being this chicks paid escort. They are drowning him with gifts to stay with her of course he don’t think he has to give her anything..it’s just a job.

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