John Mayer is a multimillion dollar recording artist, so you figure he’d get Jennifer Aniston something insane for her 40th birthday tomorrow. Like a robot butler. Turns out he’s unbelievably cheap and wrote her a song. Whee. People reports:
John Mayer has prepared his own serenade to help his girlfriend celebrate the big 4-0.
“He did write a special song just for her for her birthday,” a source tells PEOPLE of the Grammy winner. No word yet on his performance!
Although, in John Mayer’s defense, Jennifer Aniston is old and going to die soon. So why throw away money in this economy?
Photos: Getty
haz_cheezburger | February 10, 2009 at 12:31 pm
shoulda given aniston a cheezburger
DON COLONIC | February 10, 2009 at 12:32 pm
John mayer you are a fag, and your music blows.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IrvkOlRqYA
todders | February 10, 2009 at 12:40 pm
THIRD!!!
John Mayer is the picture definition of a Turd Sandwich….
Hilarious video about Larry Flint’s PORNO BAILOUT (beware the dude with the mustache):
http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/6/larry-flints-porno-bailout.html
p0nk | February 10, 2009 at 12:41 pm
wtf is up with the Mennonite frock coat?
Jennifer Aniston | February 10, 2009 at 12:49 pm
“Well…umm…John…’Your Body is a Desert’…thanks for the song…but, um, didn’t you forget the second ‘s’? No?”
pete | February 10, 2009 at 12:59 pm
He’d have a much happier expression on his face if those trophies were penises.
RichPort's Ghost | February 10, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I keep feeling like I need to ask him what the soup of the day is…
Ted Kennedy's Tumor | February 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Aniston should dump Mayer and go out with Chris Brown. At least he would give her something to show off for her birthday.
copycat | February 10, 2009 at 1:07 pm
“Hi, can you take these bags up to room 1217? What? Oh, sorry, Mr. Mayer…”
M | February 10, 2009 at 1:14 pm
why does he have cargo pockets with his kimono top?
SouthAfricanHotti | February 10, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Im so grateful for this website nd ur comments; it has just made me reaiise that u can never please people of the world…people always look for peoples flaws and not highlight their best attributes…….
Thank U 4 making me comfortable in my own skin…
i am happy with myself, and thats all that counts…not what ya’ll think
Peace
Im off to bed!
Ya'll | February 10, 2009 at 1:23 pm
#11 – stfu you brown cow.
2for2true | February 10, 2009 at 1:24 pm
#11, try school instead of bed. Then you’ll realize how retarded your comments sound to anyone with an education higher than 5th grade.
PunkA | February 10, 2009 at 1:25 pm
If a girl wrote me a song or a poem for my birthday, I;d say “thanks’ then ask what they really got me. What a lame, cheesy bastard he is. And the fact women eat that stuff up shows how ridiculous they are. Seriously.
Samantha | February 10, 2009 at 1:28 pm
It’s romantic, all right, but I don’t know how sexy it would be since he’d be singing “your” song and you’d be smelling semen on his breath.
buttnugget | February 10, 2009 at 1:32 pm
is he really wearing cargo pants to the grammy’s?
DON COLONIC | February 10, 2009 at 1:35 pm
#11
I can bet you’re some fat girl, who tries to act like you’re okay with being a fucking burden on everyones lives even though you are miserable. YOU’RE FAT, NO THAT’S NOTHING TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH. YOU’RE A BURDEN TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU. AND NO, PEOPLE DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.
LOSE WEIGHT AND STOP BEING PART OF THE OBESITY STATISTIC THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD MAKES FUN OF THE USA FOR.
Max Planck | February 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Say, John, as long as your headed to the Thrift Store, could you drop me downtown on your way, thanks?
Max Planck | February 10, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Say, John, as long as your headed to the Thrift Store, could you drop me downtown on your way, thanks?
Pat | February 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm
In a related story, Tom Cruise gave a strapon to Katie Holmes on her birthday.
SouthAfricanHotti | February 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm
#17
Hi Don…..hmmm…im actually not FAT
So please come up with another BS theory!
SouthAfricanHotti | February 10, 2009 at 1:40 pm
#17
Hi Don….ummmm…im actually not FAT
So please come up with another BS theory!
All of Us | February 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm
#22, we’d like you to have a necklace as a present, from all of us.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necklacing
The Superficial Sucks | February 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Whoever wrote the commentary is a massive tool who mistakenly thinks all women are whores because he doesn’t have the goods. Why should John Mayer give her anything other then his good dick?
That’s what women want–good dick and those who don’t have it have to pay for their pussy one way or the other.
SouthAfricanHotti | February 10, 2009 at 2:04 pm
#23 thats not funny at all…lots of people died from that, how wud u ilke it if i made make funny remarks of 911?….
Provocative Girl | February 10, 2009 at 2:06 pm
the only reason john mayer is getting all of this attention is because of jen, so she deserves way more than a song for her birthday
http://www.provocativeremarks.com
Your_a_snooty_booty | February 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm
25. yea but we didnt bomb our own buildings. africans did that to africans… right?
Stephen | February 10, 2009 at 2:12 pm
#25 – people from primitive countries are humorless. In the U.S. we love 9/11 jokes, like “9/11 proved that New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch.”
Jesse | February 10, 2009 at 2:17 pm
#27 – actually it refers to black-on-black violence in South Africa, just like Chris Brown and Rihanna. Although, now that I think about it, that probably doesn’t prove that the two countries are similar as much as monkeys are the same the world over.
mamamiasweetpeaches | February 10, 2009 at 2:22 pm
You know what sucks for her? She PROBABLY thinks he has a ring in his pocket! Every woman sorta thinks their boyfriend has an engagement ring hidden in his pocket on her irthday/anniversary/Christmas/New Years. Can you imagine thinking your boyfriend was gonna propose and instead he pulls out a guitar and starts tosing! LOL!
Jon Mayer “giving” you a song is like if your boyfriend was a butcher and on your birthday he handed you nicely wrapped meat!
SouthAfricanHotti | February 10, 2009 at 2:26 pm
#27 actually thats incorrect….get ur facts rite before u come make such flawed statements, stop reding wikipeadia n get a history book!
#28 i wud rather b in a “primitive country” than being in one that waits for such an ordeal to unite them!
The Spaniard | February 10, 2009 at 2:32 pm
What’s with that suit; looks like wardrobe from “Doctor No”.
Didn’t writing a song for people die out once Patty Harrison didn’t care that Eric Clapton wrote “Layla” for her?
georgia | February 10, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I’ll take a timeless song written by John Mayer anyday!!! …they don’t call this site ‘The Superficial’ for nothin’ ..
georgia | February 10, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I’ll take a timeless song written by John Mayer anyday!!! …they don’t call this site ‘The Superficial’ for nothin’ ..
joreb | February 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@ 3 hahaha
foghat | February 10, 2009 at 3:48 pm
man, if he wants to impress a girl he should give her a song written by someone other than john mayer
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/taunting
Your_a_snooty_booty | February 10, 2009 at 4:24 pm
31. SouthAfricanHotti – February 10, 2009 2:26 PM
#27 actually thats incorrect….get ur facts rite before u come make such flawed statements, stop reding wikipeadia n get a history book!
That is why I made my statment as a question. But I took the liberty of reading up on it and its just one of many punishments made by africans TOO fellow africans. Very barbaric ways you guys got over there, but whatever floats your boat
OC Dee | February 10, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I think it is romantic of John to write a song for Jennifer. Paul McCartney wrote a song for Linda.
Ben | February 10, 2009 at 7:21 pm
If John wants to impress Jen he should have giving her a Jason Mraz song. Jason’s are wayyyyy better than his.
kate | February 10, 2009 at 8:26 pm
^&)()Who cares! Just saw him appear on the FREE and HOT celebrities/rich men seeking affairs site ~~~ *******su g a rmingle. c o m ~~~ where you can meet many famous people and beauties. I have met my soul mate there. It is worthy of having a try.
GG1000 | February 10, 2009 at 8:40 pm
What could anyone possibly buy for JA that she couldn’t get for herself 10 times over on a whim. There’s a certain challenge in trying to get a gift for someone who’s capable of paying cash for a 15-bedroom place in Beverly Hills.
superflous | February 10, 2009 at 9:26 pm
He didn’t need to write a special song for her 40th birthday. “Gravity” would do it.
gerard Vandenberg | February 10, 2009 at 9:30 pm
THANK GOD, jenn found the DILDO!!
Tom | February 10, 2009 at 9:43 pm
So now we know he is cheap as well as a douche bag that still other people’s award. A narcissistic ba$tard would think he deserves awards when he didn’t work for them.
auntmarie | February 10, 2009 at 10:40 pm
he looks like hes frozen after seeing his daddys crotch
CrankyOldWoman | February 10, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y …
Why? Because you’re
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
(pause) Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly of mine!
Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine,
Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine,
… Mine!
lawrence | February 11, 2009 at 4:12 am
John is a handsome boy, also a great guy I want to marry~~~His profile is still available at Richromances.com, a site for millionaires, professionals and beautiful people. Is he still looking?
Ryan the Canadian | February 11, 2009 at 4:13 am
She’s 40 and worn. Pitt dropped her like the barren hag that she is. John should have written her a requiem and done her a favour by giving her a drano cocktail….
Ryan the Canadian | February 11, 2009 at 4:16 am
Lawrence @ 47- Go back to sweeping streets for a living you parasite……
Jana | February 11, 2009 at 10:51 am
This asshole just got a TV show now 2 2008 Grammys for being this chicks paid escort. They are drowning him with gifts to stay with her of course he don’t think he has to give her anything..it’s just a job.