John Mayer inspires himself

January 26th, 2009 // 68 Comments

Here’s a video of John Mayer giving himself a motivational pep talk that he made for TMZ. I don’t know if this is supposed to be funny, or convince me John Mayer eats human flesh. But nice Benjamin Button reference though. Because comparing yourself to Brad Pitt in a crazy meta online video is so the way to not make Jennifer Aniston’s vagina cry. Well played.

Video: TMZ

  1. I’m pretty sure that John Mayer is not nearly as funny as he thinks he is…

  2. God

    First you fucking hairy twats!

  3. m.munroe

    im confused… ?

  4. God

    …goddamn quick-triggered false gods….motherfucker…

  5. um...seriously?

    who does this deuche cunt thing he is?!

  6. um...seriously?

    who does this deuche cunt think he is?!

  7. sammie

    FIFTH……..OH YEAH!!!!

  8. sammie

    FIFTH……..OH YEAH!!!!

  9. sammie

    FIFTH……..OH YEAH!!!!

  10. Sam

    John Mayer’s mom must have praised him waaaaay too much.

  11. glasshalfscotch

    @1 Agreed

    You can tell he was on set thinking this was going to be the funniest new viral video around and all the cool kids would be watching it and talking about how cool John Mayer is.

    “Man, I wish John Mayer had his own show.”

    “I know, it’s that Jennifer Aniston dragging him down. He was totally still at the top of his career before she came around.”

  12. Mr.Anderson


  13. Danklin24

    “You’re the best around no ones ever gonna beat you down”

    Nice Karate Kid reference, John.

  14. Tim


    (countdown until OC Dee writes something like “This video is funny. John is very talented, funny, smart, tall, sexy, and has full kissable lips. I look forward to seeing John in concert this summer in Irvine CA.”)


  15. Mr.Anderson

    ^ Ha! Beat you to it. GET DOWN ON IT! UH-UH! GET DOWN ON IT!

  16. Vick

    I’m writing to his high school principal – clearly Mayer didn’t get nearly enough beatings.

  17. Cindy

    He’s the type of guy who, true, will lick you until you have multiple orgasms. But at some point you’re going to have to pay way more attention to his butthole than you’d ever want to.

  18. i love the karate kid



  19. i love the karate kid



  20. Lola

    What a wanker!

  21. Bethany

    His fans have a lot to answer for.

  22. Dr. Phil

    He has the perpetual shit-eating grin of a self-fister.

  23. Alex

    what a blithering idiot!!! He really thinks he is funny? Geezzz.. Brad is not the funniest guy in the world but at least he got a lot of people thinking he was being kidnapped hahahaha. This is certain proof that Jen is also an idiot cos, how can you hook up with such a huge idiot if you are not one yourself, I mean… how can you stand him?

  24. Austin james

    ill say it,,,i like john mayer

  25. Mr.Anderson

    Actually, to add some actual input. I think he’s just really happy with where he is in his life right now. That’s why he can and probably will continue to do stuff like this. Even if he does something so stupid that no one will buy his music anymore he will still live comfortably and knowing full well that he did exactly what he wanted to.

    You can just see it in his face and the way he talks.

  26. missywissy

    I haven’t even watched the video, but it’s apparant to me the dude tries to compare himself to Pitt a lot, like he’s trying to fill his shoes. Your John “Doucheboy” Mayer, not Hollywood elite. Get over yourself.

  27. Agent Smith

    I’ll agree if “he’s just really happy” is changed to “he’s just really self-satisfied.”

  28. Mr.Anderson

    Smith, while I don’t want to do this, I’d have to say that we can indeed change it to “he’s just really self-satisfied”

  29. Agent Smith

    Too late. Now we’re having cybersex. What are you wearing?

  30. Andrea

    Maybe Jennifer Aniston IS the right girl for him. She’s perfected her fake frozen smile, so she’ll be ok watching stuff like this.

  31. #14

    I am wearing a big grin right now knowing you remember my posts. I love John’s sense of humor. He is not afraid to take risks and I thought his video was very funny. I love his facial expressions and body language too. The Mr. Rogers sweater and little boys tie is hillarious. I would love to jam with John while I play my bass guitar.

  32. dude_on

    Some of the best career suicide you will ever witness. After Jen dumps him he can go back to the few stalker groupies that are left and relative anonymity.

  33. Jupiter Girl

    John Mayer is DESPERATE for attention. If the photos of him running around with Jen isnt enough attention for him, then I seriously do not know what his problem is (ADHD maybe). Hes not funny. He’s actually selfish. I’m positive that Jennifer Aniston would prefer it if he’d just shut his mouth. She’s an A-List celebrity…and she’s constantly being compared to her gorgeous ex-husband, and his insanely beautiful woman. They are taken much more seriously than Jen and Mayer, and I’m certain that if Jen could have it her way…John Mayer would keep his mouth closed. She’s just dick whipped at the moment, but eventually, he’ll get on her nerves. Or he’ll cheat on her! Bottom Line.

  34. Tim

    #31 – actually I processed the restraining order so it’s sort of natural to monitor the situation.

  35. Angelina

    John is a talented dude comfortable in his own skin. He must be an incredible lover because Jen cannot stay away from John for too long.

  36. Adam

    I like John Mayer. I like his music and think he’s a good guy.

    Am… am I gay?

  37. Dr Drew

    No you are a dude who is not afraid to be you.

  38. Ummm...yeah...

    Oh Please!
    Was that supposed to be funny? I didn’t laugh once.
    All I saw was a pathic loser, trying to be funny.
    God, when is he and that stupid bitch Annoyiston going to just fall off a cliff, or get hit by a bus? Can they ever speak one sentence without using or refering to Brad and Angie?
    I’ve heard of people being bitter, but this is way beyond the norm.
    Obsession, they are obsessed. Wow, they need to make a movie about this shit cause in a minute we’ll be hearing how Jennifer went to Brads’ house and blew them away, kidnapped thier kids and tortured themand killed them one by one because they weren’t hers and Brads. Pathetic.

  39. p0nk

    36. Yes

  40. mrs.t

    what a steaming pile of nothing.

  41. Navybean68

    I like John Mayer. I think he’s cute. His music isn’t half bad. And I like his dry sense of humor and the fact that he can make fun of himself and not take things too seriously.

    Besides, while we are all wasting time posting on a celebrity blog he’s off actually being a celebrity. So who is cooler now?

  42. everybody

    We are.

  43. Wendy

    He “make fun of himself” in completely contrived and self-aware manner. That earns you an automatic FAIL.

  44. Wendy

    And I wrote ‘He “make fun of himself”‘ as an intentional tribute to Native Americans.

  45. Jing Jang

    Your body is a wonderland
    Your body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
    Your body is a wonderland
    Your body is a wonderland

    Da da dup ba da da da
    Ba ba dup ba la la la
    Ba ba dup ba ba da da
    Ba ba dup ba da da da
    Ba ba dup ba ba da da
    Ba ba dup ba da da da
    Ba ba dup ba ba da da
    Ba ba dup ba da da da

    fucking WORST MUSIC EVER

  46. I liked that, he is quite funny!

  47. furio213

    36 definitely

  48. Delgo

    I enjoy his older stuff more.

  49. sfnngf

    Fish guessed correctly. This video definitely makes me think John Mayer eats human flesh; little kids who go missing and are never found. Mayer needs their blood to prepare pastries. He also makes a dip out of their little testicles and serves it to guests at parties.

    Both Mayer and Aniston need be charged, arrested, and have their homes searched.

  50. Mel

    He believes the lies his fans tell his douche bag ass.

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