John Mayer has a huge penis

May 18th, 2008 // 78 Comments

At long last the mystery of why the hell Jennifer Aniston is dating John Mayer has been solved: He’s got a monster wang. NY Daily News reports on this shocking development:

“She’s just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character,” said one spy.
The reason can’t just be that she is dating John Mayer. No one is that happy with Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds. What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The crooner’s ex-paramours reveal he is hell to get over, not because he’s a great guy, but because he’s a “great” guy, if you know what we mean.
“His body actually is a wonderland,” one ex was overheard saying.

I know what some of you are saying: “John Mayer has sex with Jennifer Aniston, millions of dollars and he’s hung like Trogdor. How can you not be jealous?” To those particular people, all I have to say is, Didn’t I send you out for a John Mayer mask and wiener pills an hour ago? What’s the hold up?

NOTE: Pics link to previous post of Jennifer Aniston’s ass as seen from helicopters, tall buildings and this guy’s camera before he fell out of a palm tree. You died not in vain, sir.


  1. toolboy

    Oh wait. He HAS a big penis. Stupid dickslexia. I thought it said IS.

  2. Joco

    #49 – WTF? LOL That must be a photoshopjob

  3. Emily

    49. Nawwwww. It’s sooososososoo not.

  4. Gia

    #49 and 53

    John Mayer looks hot dressed like Borat! I love it! And I love his big package too!

  5. Emily

    54. I meant #53.

  6. 1 MILF Hunter

    He’s got a 6″ dong. Brad had a 5″ dong. She thinks she’s getting John C. Holmes.

  7. Emily

    57. Hahahahaha. John is probably like 8″. Brad is 7″. Just a guesstimation. 6″ and 5″ is kinda small.

  8. yothofgohogn

    57. Hahahahaha. John is probably like 8″. Brad is 7″. Just a guesstimation. 6″ and 5″ is kinda small.

  9. malicious

    remember when Brad said he was “hung like a hamster”, no wonder Jen is a happy girl now

  10. Mia

    The average man has a size 6″ cock. I like cocks between 6-8″. Anything longer is just too much and it would probably hit my cervix. Most normal females do not want huge porn star cocks like John Holmes. I once dated a man who used a penis stretcher. His penis was long and skinny like John Holms and it was gross. I prefer cocks that have some girth. John Mayer is hot and has a big one too!

  11. bill

    I always tried to ask all things about about this person.
    People say it is a member of a celeb club
    *** c e l e b m i n g l e . c o m ***
    I came there and met my rich bf.
    It’s a place to meet the rich/celebrity.

  12. bill

    I always tried to ask all things about about this person.
    People say it is a member of a celeb club
    *** c e l e b m i n g l e . c o m ***
    I came there and met my rich bf.
    It’s a place to meet the rich/celebrity.

  13. dude in irvine

    Lil, you are kind of a fucking idiot. That’s
    Cisco Adler. Try googling “Mischa Barton Cisco Adler balls”

  14. Barkingrex

    Trogdor!!! Yes! I had forgotten about Trogdor.

  15. Lil


    How harsh! I am not up to date with all the celebrities because I do not watch TV, listen to the radio (I prefer my CDs) and this is the only place I learn about the celebrities. Most of the people on this site I have never heard of. I read, bike, and play a lot of Volley Ball after work.

  16. Linda

    ** You can ALWAYS say that some celeb is well-hung and all the peasants will buy it hook, line and sinker!

    Mayer is average at best…..and that is being kind!

  17. zuzuspetals

    You know, I’ve dated a few men with big penises and I know for a fact that it is completely overrated. In Jen’s case, having access to a giant penis in the bedroom does not make up for the fact that she has to be seen with a giant pussy in public. John Mayer makes me shudder. He’s about a half step above Chriss Angel on the stairway of pussy-dom.
    I hope Jennifer finds a real man soon.

  18. Mr V

    Jennifer Aniston is 5 foot fucking 3 and barely makes her weight in pounds into 3-digit territory. It’s not going to take much to be big for her specifically.

  19. Doc

    Publicity stunt!!!!

  20. Rick

    Chicks who say they prefer a big dick are lying just to fuck with your head, fellow guys. And to make you feel emasculated. Trust me, they prefer medium sized. If you’re six inches and can make her come, you’re golden. Or if you’re less than that, work on your cunnilingus technique. I say this from experience. Some women actually come harder from being eaten out than fucking. Assholes like John Mayer need to 1) die 2) be forgotten instantly after death and 3) no I’m not jealous, I just hate his music, really think he doesn’t deserve anything he has, and I don’t care how big his dick is, I wouldn’t trade places with him because I wouldn’t be able to live with being a douchebag and thus, I as John Mayer would commit suicide promptly. Then you’d hear about this guy from Michigan who had talent up and coming who sounds sooo familiar..I’m not gonna let him get famous twice! F THAT! ;)

  21. Rick

    I’m six inches, by the way. And unashamed.

  22. Jimbo

    my boyfriend is 7 inches and I wouldn’t want it any bigger, especially when it’s in my ass

  23. Dr Ruth

    I was crazy about this guy in high school. We finally got together after seeing each other at our high school reunion. He had the smallest hard cock I have ever seen. It must have been 3 inches hard! He was great at oral and since his cock was so small I easily got him off 2 times in one night by oral. When we had intercourse it was so quick and I could barely feel anything. Most women do not come during intercourse but I sure do! John Mayer is very talented and I would love to kiss his big package.

  24. Trover

    I think the Fish got the headline wrong. Wasn’t it supposed to read ” John Mayer is a big dick”?? Thought so.

    By the way, whatever he has, it does not make up for the fact his singing sucks balls and he looks like Edward Scissorhands.

  25. Dread Pirate Robert

    “Hung like Trogdor…”

    Truly, you’ve outdone yourself. And by “yourself”, I mean “my penis.”

  26. BitchyBlonde


    Speak for yourself!

    I STILL think about the hot, FDNY firefighter who I fucked for years. Hung like a horse. The best sex I ever had. Big penises are awesome. Only drawback was that it was really hard to give him head.

    That being said, it would be a real waste to have a big penis attached to this pasty, skinny asshat.

  27. Jennnnn

    i’m not really sure if Trogdor was “hung”. i mean, i know he had a beefy arm (for good measure) but hung? maybe the beefy arm was compensation…

  28. Georgia

    Nothing’s as hot as a huge dick. I’m bi, and both my girlfriend and i go crazy over a nice big dick… :)

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