At long last the mystery of why the hell Jennifer Aniston is dating John Mayer has been solved: He’s got a monster wang. NY Daily News reports on this shocking development:
“She’s just so happy and giggly. It is completely out of character,” said one spy.
The reason can’t just be that she is dating John Mayer. No one is that happy with Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds. What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The crooner’s ex-paramours reveal he is hell to get over, not because he’s a great guy, but because he’s a “great” guy, if you know what we mean.
“His body actually is a wonderland,” one ex was overheard saying.
I know what some of you are saying: “John Mayer has sex with Jennifer Aniston, millions of dollars and he’s hung like Trogdor. How can you not be jealous?” To those particular people, all I have to say is, Didn’t I send you out for a John Mayer mask and wiener pills an hour ago? What’s the hold up?
NOTE: Pics link to previous post of Jennifer Aniston’s ass as seen from helicopters, tall buildings and this guy’s camera before he fell out of a palm tree. You died not in vain, sir.