John Mayer breaks up with Jessica Simpson; thinks she’s a loser


Jessica Simpson’s fling with John Mayer is reportedly over despite People magazine’s claim that they were “in love.” A source from Mayer’s camp told Us Weekly that the relationship “was a 2 her camp spun into an 11.” Mayer has supposedly lost a lot of respect for his brief fling and “now he will stay away from her. He thinks it’s desperate. An attempt for her to stay in the spotlight.”

You can’t get much lower than being dumped by the world’s ugliest man because he thinks you’re pathetic. That’s like a dog about to hump your leg but deciding not to because he’d rather do it with the couch. And who’d blame him? That soft supple leather, those delicious curves. You’d be crazy not to pick a couch over Jessica Simpson.