John Travolta Showed His Vampire Face In Public

June 8th, 2012 // 40 Comments
Nice Piece, But Quick Note
John Travolta Bald
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It’s been a month since John Travolta was accused of trying to coerce and/or pay every male massage therapist in the industry to have sex with his butt in a completely heterosexual fashion, so here he is making his first public appearance at The AFI Lifetime Achievement awards last night which more than likely means he’s made peace with the Church of Scientology and all those guys are dead. On that note, I took the liberty of adding captions to all these which I’m pretty sure are close to the actual words that came out of his mouth. They can’t be far off.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Hugh Evers

    Aren’t there enough gay Spocks already?

  2. elephantman

    Nice hair!

  3. In dracula voice:

    “I vant to suck your cock”

  4. John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    OH Goddammit!

    Now my comment in the main section just looks stupid.

    I’m so stupit!

    *bangs head on desk*

  5. John Travolta
    Randy Poundersnooge
    Commented on this photo:

    He was a vampire in a SNL sketch where Renfield turned into a bat and banged travoltas in flight tookus. Suddenly I’m realizing that sketch was a Travolta fantasy.

  6. SaintMidian

    Looks more like a Vulcan to me. It would only be logical to suck a cock.

  7. Dan Quayle

    I salute he courage

  8. Urvag

    Is it me or is the church of Scientology a cover for a bunch of homosexual men who won’t come out of the closet: Travolta…Cruise…

  9. John Travolta
    CharlieSheen'sLostTeeth
    Commented on this photo:

    “ewww gross! Something smells like pussy!”

  10. John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    His “hair” looks especially fake here.

  11. “Has everyone watched “Inglorious Bastards”? Because Im going to burn this motherfuckin’ place to the ground with all of you in it.”

  12. John Travolta
    BostonBruin
    Commented on this photo:

    bawhahahah!! That was hillarious!!

  13. Hugh Jazz

    Mr. Travolta’s hairpiece on loan from the Barnabas Collins collection.

    • I was thinking he ripped the astroturf off Mauricio in Shallow Hal.
      [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/08/001SHA_Jason_Alexander_017-320_181.jpg[/img]

  14. John Travolta
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    The UV light is a nice touch. (“Oatmeal? Spittle? Semen? This must be where Wilford Brimley was strangled by Bob Crane.”)

  15. Cock Dr

    Ask him about the pilot…..the one with the firmly toned butt cheeks. Private flying lessons indeed.

  16. Archie Leach

    Mr. Kotter wouldn’t approve.

  17. John Travolta
    K-Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s showing emotion. He must be a Romulan, then.

  18. John Travolta
    K-Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Or else he’s just heard there’s an all-male Pon farr.

  19. John Travolta
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a wax statue. But I guess he knows a lot about sex wax.

  20. Butch Patrick is not aging well.

  21. John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF? Isn’t this man wealthy enough to get proper hair plugs?

  22. John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    …or on a boat?

  23. Fans, my man, no one is doubting Travolt’as goodness as a husband or a father. Okay – we are, but that’s not the point. The point, the hilarious point, is that he’s a badly closeted bald gay man with a seemingly endless collection of ridiculous hairpieces who’s holding down a highly fuckable MILF as beard.
    In short, what we’re laughing at is his deep and evident state of denial, self-loathing and douchebaggery that aren’t doing the gay community -or the balding guys community, or the Straight Guys Who’s Like a Piece of Kelly Preston’s Ass community- any favors.
    Think Neil Patrick Harris.
    Think Jason Statham.
    Hell, think Tom Ford – guy’s gay and balding, both openly, and cool as hell altogether.
    And now tell me what possible reason there could be for this douche’s closet or his idiotic array of hairpieces.

    Also, Scientology.

  24. WOW…this picture says a thousand words and none of them flattering.

  25. Feral Belcher

    Dear Lestat,

    You have one new picture message from “JT Da V 69″

    Regards,

    V Harmony

  26. John Travolta
    StayPuft Overlord
    Commented on this photo:

    Johnny Depp looks like he gained a lot of weight/wants cock in his ass for the “Dark Shadows” movie.

  27. John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    He actually looks like a Vulcan

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