As the Internet’s slowly learning this week, apparently if you’re a dude, or even just know a dude, who works/worked in the hospitality industry, at one point you or your friend have been asked to stick your penis in John Travolta‘s butt in a completely friendly, just two heterosexual dudes hanging out way because he’s not gay. So it really is surprising that only five days into this thing we’re only up to three accusers. This time around we have Fabian Zanzi who claims John Travolta tried to pay him for gay sex while on a Royal Caribbean cruise. RadarOnline reports:
Zanzi told South American news website ABC.es that Travolta said, “He had something on his neck. I thought it was a fuzz. As I approached, he took off his white coat and was naked. He hugged me and asked me to do a massage.” Zanzi alleges that Travolta offered $12,000 to have sex with him, but he says he refused.
Jesus, how well do they pay people at Royal Caribbean to turn down 12 grand? I mean, awful, just awful. How dare you, John Travolta? (Email me.) In the meantime, FOX411 reports Kelly Preston has been secreted away to an undisclosed location lest she figures out why she always has to wear a fake mustache and tickle John’s anus every time they order Red Robin. (And if she’s reading right now, it’s because Xenu commands it! Question your galactic lordship no more, woman.)
According to an inside source, the actress has been instructed to be silent and stay away from the public eye until further notice.
“It’s a means of damage control and will protect her from any public scrutiny,” said the source.
All jokes aside, if there’s one thing the Scientology Slave Cruise taught us, it’s that Tom Cruise is super gay. It also taught us that Scientology’s solution for everything is to lock a woman up in a room which is really something they should be more upfront about when trying to win new converts. No, really, they’ve been going about all this wrong.
SCIENTOLOGIST: Hey, how’d you like to spend $200 letting a GameBoy with two nails sticking out of it tell you how many dead space ghosts are possessing your body?
AVERAGE JOE: No, thanks.
SCIENTOLOGIST: Did I mention we also preach conflict resolution via locking your wife in the garage?
AVERAGE JOE: Go on…
Photos: Getty
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/11/-15-340_342.jpg[/img]
Is that L. Ron Hubbard?
nah, that’s Tom Cruise without makeup.
Nah, it’s just some dickhead.
lol
lolol
Nice thinking cap.
The only things that have surprised me about the recent Travolta stories are the following:
1) People eat when they are getting a massage!? Food like cheeseburgers and cake, while you are nearly naked in front of a complete stranger, who will soon be rubbing your body? That’s weird.
2) John Travolta went on Royal Caribbean cruise!? I thought those cruises were populated solely by retirees, Kathy Lee Gifford, and local weathermen pitching package deals.
And the unspoken tragedy of all this is that Kelly Preston’s hotness has been bottled up by a beard contract all this time, when she could have been strutting her goodies in bikinis and slinky outfits as part of publicity-based faux romances.
The last paragraph is the killer there Frank. He screwed us all by marrying her.
A Royal Caribbean cruise now? Isn’t that like the Dollar General Store of gay sex? Depressing.
…And here’s Kelly, demonstrating the No You Can’t Go Ogling the Catering Boys Over There Nerve Pinch.
I’m going on a Norwegian Cruise Lines trip to Bermuda this weekend, so I will certainly inquire where the all the gay masseuse are….who am I kidding, I’ll be screaming at the black jack table dealers demanding another jack n coke.
And if you lose all your money at the blackjack table, you know where you can pick up a quick $12,000.
If Travolta were in a bathtub full of shrimp and somehow Brett Ratner walked in, I’m pretty sure you could qualify the result as either awesome, hilarious, epic or all of the above.
Rumors of his gayness have been around since the 70′s. Just come out of the damn closet already.
Yeah, I mean he was in Grease! The way he jumped off that car during “Grease Lightning,” no straight man in the world could do it as well as he did.
You forgot his brilliant disco moves in “Saturday Night Fever” kimmy. btw, i hate that it’s raining this weekend.
I bet the muscles in his neck and back are really tense right now.
And his anus, mustn’t forget his anus. It’s like Disneyland for Thetans.
Okay John, if the sham is finally over, can I please have Kelly? I want to do bad things to her. Really bad things.
I’m next , no , I want to be first .It will be like exploring an untouched , virgin forest
Here we see John Travolta sporting his old growth beard on the red carpet, at a recent Academy Awards Event.
I gave John the benefit of a doubt that the 2 masseurs were just making this stuff up, but THREE makes a pattern of behavior, and I have a hard time believing that ALL of them are making this stuff up. I’m assuming that private investigators are digging all of this up. If they keep digging, they’ll likely find more masseurs with similar stories.
it s been more than 3. this guy has been dodging rumors since the 70s
gay or not, he is the victim.
as someone said it earlier, MJ is out and the media needs a new pinata
Seriously, I just thought those guys were fans…
It’s always the bitches fault for not strapping on a dildo.
Shame on you Kelly.
I wonder if there’s some magic Scientology therapy to “fix” Tom’s and John’s gayness. I’ll bet it involves electrodes and nut sacks….then again maybe it was the “therapy” that made them more gay then they already were.
The first clue was when he craftily replaced the massage oil with strawberry flavoured KY jelly.
John likes the Cherry flavored anal lube (and yes it’s real).
Come out of the closet, John. Obama says it’s OK now.
I feel bad for Travolta. I will be the first one to say that he is probably gay, but this is crap what is happening to him. On top of everything, he was not even in the state when these idiots claim he did what he did. They really should throw these guys in jail for doing this.
“I got lawsuuuiiits; they’re multiplying”
“I’ve got masseurs, out of contro-hole.”
but the phaaallllus you’re supplyin’…
I thought Scientologists had their OWN cruise ship…
Never mind about Travolta being gay. We’ve always known that…cmon. The real question is whether or not the two lovebirds sacrificed their poor autistic son because he was imperfect and to make room for another “perfect” child…
This is all fucking stupid. MJ is out, so new target has been acquired.
If he was that desperate for sex, he’d get a male prostitute. At least you’re guaranteed they know their shit in the sack.
ITS ALL THE FAULT OF ALL THOSE OLD GAY GEEZERS THAT RUN HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!
THEY MUST RUN SCIENTOLOGY TOO SO THEY CAN KEEP TRAVOLTA FROM GETTING CURED!!!!!!!!!!
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Puhleaze, like no one knew Danny Zuko liked his lightning greased.
It’s funny and ironic how all the “Travolta Is A Sick Homo” stories come out the same week as Obama announces his reluctant support of gay marriage.
President Romney, we await your call to service.
Romney will have a hell of a time explaining all those “spiritual wives” that come out of his woodwork, hon.
JTLTC
looks like Kelly Preston needs to get laid.
Travolta hasn’t hit that in years.
I would volunteer to give Kelly a good time
No John, you apply the beard to your chin.
Of course I’m straight, if you don’t believe me ask this she-male.
I personally think if someone thinks they are gay they are fucking brainwashed. But if you all beleive hes gay then you are all fucking brainwashed. Where is your proof? Oh yeah mindless media.Damn thats some solid shit right there.
Besides dont most of you scum bags now adays think “gay” is ok?