John Stamos Got A DUI

After the Olsen Twins publicly rebuked John Stamos’ offer to reunite with the cast of Full House, it was only a matter of time until his untimely death, and patience is not a Muppet on heroin’s strong suit. TMZ reports:

John Stamos was booked for DUI Friday night in Beverly Hills, and was allegedly so out of it … police sent him straight to a hospital.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Bev Hills officers responded to a call around 7:45 PM of a silver Mercedes driving erratically, and when cops stopped the vehicle … they felt Stamos needed immediate medical attention. He was driving by himself.

According to the police report, two demons were also found lying inside the trunk reciting incantations. However, due to the whiteness of their skin, standard procedure dictated they be given keys to a police cruiser to drive themselves home provided they promise to try really hard not to shoot anybody with the shotgun. Paperwork, amirite?

Photo: AKM-GSI

Tags: DUI, John Stamos