Ashley Olsen Went To John Stamos’ 50th Birthday
John Stamos celebrated his 50th birthday last night (Side Note: And is a vampire.) and invited the cast of Full House. Which usually means Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen won’t come anywhere near the place because they’re serious fashion designers who only allow the blood relatives of French dignitaries into their vaginas now. Except, surprisingly, Ashley did show up, so at one point in the evening Heath Ledger’s corpse was wheeled out and beat with pinata sticks until bags of heroin fell to the floor. Look at her eyes and tell me I’m wrong. I’ll wait.