John Oliver On How The Fuck We Elected Trump: ‘This Is Not Normal’
I want to say that I’m not going to bring up the Orange Fuckderdome that’s become our country everyday, but there’s probably a good chance I’m going to be hauled away from my keyboard in a strait-jacket and/or die wielding a turkey bone shiv on Thanksgiving. It’s a world of possibilities.
So like I said the morning after, nobody honestly expected Donald Trump to win the presidency. Including Trump himself who, according to top advisers speaking to the New York Times, was “shocked” by the outcome of the election and is now freaking out about moving into the White House because he doesn’t want to leave Trump Tower. I shit you not. Which also explains why he’s already giving interviews where he’s walking back campaign promises of repealing Obamacare and locking up Hillary Clinton because to quote Trump himself: “They’re just words.” It’s a turn of events that I find especially rich considering how many white-jowled hoopleheads chanted over and over again that “he tells it like it is,” and repeatedly argued that Hillary is a liar who’ll “say anything to get elected.” And now those very same people are saying, “Oh, everybody relax. He didn’t mean the stuff he said.”
WHAT THE JESUS ASS FUCK?!?
Anyway, here’s John Oliver doing yeoman’s work trying to explain what went wrong (Hint: Your mom got Facebook.) and make sense of it all, which is damn near impossible because Donald Trump is an unpredictable infant who might seem moderate today, but is never more than a missed nap away from pulling shit out of his diaper and wiping it all over the Constitution.
“Donald, you can’t jail journalists for reporting on your administration.”
“I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! YOU’RE STUPID!” *gets carried out of Target screaming all the way out the door as random shoppers whisper “Somebody’s not a happy camper…”*
Yup, that’s our president.