John Oliver’s Donald Trump Takedown Is A Goddamn Work of Art

Even while being buried alive by the Oscars today, I kept seeing headline after headline about how goddamn amazing John Oliver’s takedown of Donald Trump is, and I’m here to tell you every word of it is true. Including “murderslay.” Which is why I’m getting the hell out of its way because it truly is a brilliant, point-by-point rebuttal of the tangerine twatwaffle who’s about to clean up on Super Tuesday because an electorally viable percentage of Americans are diabetic Klansmen who are tired of seeing a soft-handed approach to menstruating women. Their vaginal sloughing ends NOW.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Jesus Christ. Who’s actually stupid enough to fall for this shit?” and I’m glad you asked.

Except now I’m remembering that Hilary Duff is a Republican and Aaron Carter knows what gets her wet in the pants, so if you’ll excuse me I need to yell “All Lives Matter” from the top of her kids’ swing set before some tweaked-up bastard beats me to it. Why didn’t I open with racism first? Stupid.

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