John McEnroe Would Probably Beat Shia LaBeouf Up

Critics are speculating that the recent spike in Tennis-related movies could break the long-standing tradition that tennis movies suck (they still will). One in particular is Shia LaBeouf’s new flick titled Borg/McEnroe (*BAAAMMMP* LLAAZZYY!!). Shia seems to believe the he and Johnny Mac, one of the most notoriously hot-headed athletes of all time, have a lot in common because Shia has temper tantrums over french fries and a Caulfield-like aversion to phonies. When it comes down to brass tacks however, I think McEnroe would stomp the Spaghetti-O’s out of TheBeef after drinking him under the table.

It’s hard to imagine anyone but Shia LaBeouf playing the tennis superbrat though. This is really the only person who I could see in this role, so props to producers for getting him away from his flagpole performance art thing for a second to do the show.

“He used rage as a tactic to throw people off,” said LaBeouf of McEnroe. “He manufactured his intensity to hype himself up. In that way, he’s an artist.”

McEnroe has been even more dubious of tennis movies — and their unconvincing gameplay — in general. He last year told Vanity Fair, “They are all terrible.” But LaBeouf expressed nothing but admiration for McEnroe on Thursday in Toronto, saying he’d love to meet him. “He’s a busy guy,” shrugged LaBeouf. (from PageSix)

I’m sorry, but if Johnny Mac was too busy triggering feminists on Twitter to meet with Shia, that should say something about his respect for this movie. Critics are praising LaBeouf for basically playing himself at his craziest, but once again the movie falls flat as soon as they actually start playing tennis. Tennis matches in movies are just really hard to edit, I guess.