It’s Safe Now, Apollo Theater, John McCain’s Here

The Superficial / August 19, 2014

Last year’s Apollo Theater fundraiser ended in Jamie Foxx grabbing Katie Holmes’ next to Colin Powell, so this year he had his work cut out for him. Fortunately, John McCain was on hand, and if there’s one thing Republicans love, it’s apparently dancing in the Hamptons. (I could’ve sworn it was chasing gays, blacks and barren women into Mexico with AR-15s while quoting scripture, so wow, do I feel stupid.) Via Gawker:

“I looked down at McCain and he was like, ‘I can do this,'” Foxx told the Journal, “It’s the ones you don’t expect. It’s the Republicans. Republicans love to dance in the Hamptons.”

For those of you who can’t, or just don’t feel like watching the video, it’s basically this but set to music and with more black people:

John McCain Obama Debate

In related news, protestors in Ferguson, Mo. have reportedly been moved by Senator McCain’s attempts to preserve African-American culture and have agreed to sit down with police who were relieved they no longer had to figure out a way to drop an atom bomb. “Christ, half the instructions are in German,” a spokesperson said.

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