John Mayer Tells Katy Perry How To Sing Now

December 18th, 2013 // 23 Comments
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Katy Perry and John Mayer did their first interview as a couple on GMA yesterday to promote their duet “Who You Love.” A move they should probably never do again unless they want people to know just how much John Mayer hates Katy Perry and is only having sex with her for her tits. Which was a given, but not something you want to spell out unless you’re a rich musician with a never-ending supply of pu- never mind, I see what he’s doing here. Via Gawker:

I come in the studio and she plays stuff and I go [hand over mouth, eyes of nausea]. And then I’ll hear a melody, ’cause she’ll be writing something, I’ll hear a melody and I’ll be like, ‘Don’t…don’t…’ She, she was fucking…And I’ll go, ‘Come ‘ere, come ‘ere, come ‘ere, I sang this into my iPhone while you were in there, just check it out.’ ‘Oh, I’ll do that!’ I’m like, ‘Good, good, good.’

In John Mayer’s defense, Katy Perry’s music is fucking awful. However, her new shit isn’t any better, so it’s not like he helped and should go around patting himself on the back while draped in the finest of furs. Has anyone even listened to “Roar?” It sounds like “Eye of The Tiger” got raped by a Forever 21. Who the hell takes credit for that? Outside of R. Kelly. “Yo, I told them take that elephant to a high school and we gonna set some shit OFF.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News

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  1. BlinkyTheFish

    That quote doesn’t even make much sense to me. I’m reading it as he hates her music and alternately that he’s kidding that he hates her music (but secretly isn’t). What the fuck is with that coat. I’m pretty sure my mother dressed me in something like that as a little kid in the 70s, except mine had some gigantic pompoms on an idiot string attached to it as well.

  2. dennis

    Meh….unlike Jon Mayer, she doesn’t play an instrument in an actual band. Lip syncing and autotune fixes everything bad.

    She just needs to pulls the tits out so they are front and center.

  3. JC

    At least they’re staying true to form: Stupid shit continues to roll out of his mouth, and she only dates douchebags.

  4. Did anyone listen to Lainey’s clip of Katy’s “singing” on the X Factor UK yesterday? Holy crap. I’ve heard better singing in spring musicals at the local high school. Good luck, Johnny, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

  5. Flame away, but I actually don’t mind “Roar”. Frankly, I’d rather my kids listen to that than 90% of the other shit that’s going on.

    I did weep a little though… I played No Doubt’s “Sunday Morning” on Vevo for my kids the other day, and when I came downstairs the next morning, my daughter had put it on by herself to watch it again. *sniff* I’m so proud of my little girl!

    • No Doubt sucks too. My friend’s three year old asks for Guns ‘n Roses and Motörhead. Now that’s something I’d be proud of.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      Roar is quite possibly the most unimaginative piece of pop garbage that I’ve ever heard. And according to FUSE, it was the number one song in America this year.

      Yikes!

  6. (takes bong hit, slowly inhales)
    Its almost like we’re surrounded by a bunch of manufactured musicians nowadays that have no talent and are “plucked” from the hordes for their looks and the fact they can shake their ass on stage without falling down.
    (picks up PS3 controller, puts on “Vinewood Boulevard” station on GTA 5 to listen to good music)

  7. Ben Dover

    Like she should take advice from a douchebag in a fur coat,
    what fuckin guy wears a fur coat?

  8. Cock Dr

    I started the “music video” but couldn’t make it much past a minute.
    Apparently her breasts don’t inspire great original songwriting…that one was quite the coma inducer.

  9. John Mayer Crappy Fur Coat Katy Perry Good Morning America Interview
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m looking for this dung-head who took my women! He is being liar to me! I want my bitches back!

  10. he’s wearing a jacket of all the muff he’s banged….

  11. Ginger Failed

    My mom bought me that coat in the 11th grade from Chadwick’s of Boston. It was ugly then, and it’s ugly now. Did he get the uggs to go with it?

  12. Rasuptin's Evil Twin

    Why is the song called “Roar” when her musical trademark is barking like a seal? Yes, I know her real “trademark” is her tits, but this is the audio version.

  13. cc

    Nice coat, asshole.

  14. gina

    Jerk 1
    innocent animals 0

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