John Mayer is Still Writing Songs For Jennifer Aniston

Posted by Photo Boy

It seems that three years of plowing through groupies while simultaneously morphing into Johnny Depp has done little to ease John Mayer’s pain over knowing that he’ll never bang Jennifer Aniston again. Well that, or knowing that saying her name would get some press and move a couple more iTunes units, but it’s probably that first thing. US Weekly:

Explains the source: “He wrote the song as a farewell letter knowing [Jen] would hear it. Ultimately he’s done a lot of self reflection though and it he realizes they weren’t right for each other.

Yes, because nothing more clearly indicates to your ex that you’re over it and ready to move on like a sad song about the crippling depression you’ve had over them for THREE YEARS! Listen carefully John, because here’s what you do next. First, get really drunk. Like already pissed yourself twice and broke furniture drunk. Then you call Justin Theroux. Not to pick a fight, but to tell him to make sure he takes care of Jen because she’s a really great girl who deserves it. And make references to the crazy sex you used to have with her. BOOM! Over it. Oh yeah, you should probably get rid of all of the knives and shoelaces in your house. Trust me, it’s a starting anew thing.

Photo: Splash News

Tags: John Mayer