John Mayer Is Probably Banging Demi Lovato

Presumably because he saw these Demi Lovato naked photos, John Mayer is now intimately acquainted with her sex parts, or “the merry-go-round” as Wilmer Valderrama used to call them. And how do we now have this information? Well, for one, it’s John Mayer, who’s penis is somehow the Israeli military for hot young Hollywood ass. So there’s that, plus he put his arm around her at a party, so, they’re totally fuckin’. Via Us Weekly

The “Gravity” rocker, 39, and the “Confident” singer, 24, arrived at and exited the rooftop restaurant separately, but appeared to hit it off inside. “John had his arm around Demi and was whispering sweet nothings into her ear,” an eyewitness tells Us. “She was into it. They weren’t making out or anything, but she was giggling the whole time.”

Holy fuck, she giggled? Did they set a date yet? Seriously, this one’s pretty easy. Demi Lovato is also fresh off of a long-term relationship and has beef with Taylor Swift right now, which makes John Mayer’s penis the stone. And that makes two John Mayer penis comparisons, so why not another? John Mayer’s penis is the drunk Taco Bell run at 3AM for aspiring starlets. They know it’s unhealthy, but they can’t resist. And it gives them diarrhea. (Please just let me believe that.) Okay, I’m done, here’s the naked butt photo you knew was gonna be here if you hung in there long enough. Good job.

Demi Lovato Naked Butt

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Photo: Getty, Patrick Ecclesine/Vanity Fair