John Mayer Dumped Katy Perry Over Email

August 29th, 2012 // 37 Comments
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For reasons I’ll never fully understand, women get all emotional whenever you tell them you really aren’t as into them as you pretended to be to talk them into sex which makes it awkward to at least have the courtesy to break up with them in person. Then again, it’s not like there’s a law saying you have to. Back me up, John Mayer. Via Hollywood Life:

So what happened? According to an Us Weekly source, John Mayer quickly grew “tired of Perry’s hard partying and decided to pull the plug.”
Adding more insult to injury, a friend tells the magazine that “he dumped her over email. She was furious and really hurt. She was into him, but he wasn’t feeling it.”

Through channels we legally can’t talk about, The Superficial has obtained an exclusive copy of the email John Mayer sent to Katy Perry letting her know it’s not cute to yak all over his couch during sex even if she giggles and says “Whoops!” afterward:

Dude, this convention is OFF THE CHAIN. First, we totally yelled “USA!” at this wetback trying to talk and then we were all like, “Let’s throw peanuts at that spook!” TAMPA FTMFW!!!

White POWAH,

- J.M.’s P.

Okay, that might have been the wrong email.

Photos: Coleman-Rayner

superficial

  1. kimmykimkim

    What is this, 1999? You’re supposed to dump people over text these days. This guy can’t get anything right, can he?

  2. The Right

    So, did you read the story you linked about chanting USA? It says front and center that the chants had nothing to do with . . . oh forget it. Did you get molested in front of a picture of an elephant? What’s with all the hate?

    • Yup

      Haven’t you realized yet? Racism by liberals aimed at conservatives is all good. Even disguised as “humor”

  3. ty

    he hit it then quit it !!! LOL!!!

  4. Partying too hard is a turn off ladies. Save some energy for the sex later, would ya. Then again a passed out Katy Perry is the perfect opportunity for some boob action.

  5. anonym

    it’s a good life to live. Just keep pounding different pussies every week.
    Fuck relationships.

    and who the fuck still uses email for this shit ?
    this guy is living the last century.

    • If I were rich, famous, and somewhat attractive I wouldn’t settle down with one woman either. What the heck for? Mayer is doing what many a single man would be doing if we were in his shoes

      • Blech

        Am I in a minority? I feel lucky to have someone in my life who’s worth my loyalty, time… I can’t see myself with anyone else or wasting my time with others.

        And the intimacy and sex is great to boot.

        Different strokes…

  6. Wendy

    Not suprised this is the man who penned the brillant lyrics “You get in. You get done. You get gone.”

  7. Nina

    How lame…he sounds like a big douchebag anyways

  8. YoMamma

    Do you think the back of his left arm says “Get A” or “I Have No”

    • Blech

      It’s probably not “…what a wonderful choice”.

      • MayerIsAFreak

        He likes shitting on girls – literally. This degenerate enjoys urinating on and taking craps on women. Any woman foolish enough to still sleep with him is a fool, and needs her head examined. Mayer is a degenerate disgusting freak.

  9. Why are you women dissing Mayer? He’s been a douchebag for a long time. Perry, if she was looking for something more ‘meaningful’ went to the wrong guy. Or maybe, JUUUUUUUST Maybe, Katy wanted to get down and dirty with someone she knew she wouldn’t ever get serious with. she did break up with Brand not long ago.

  10. Herman Bumfudle

    |O|! over an email, honest i didn’t know she was dating when i sent em. anyway, i saw katy today on a bicycle. she pulled a michael jackson on me and garbed her crotch. a tad unexpected but i enjoyed it enormously.

  11. grz

    Ahahahaha! I wouldn’t break up with that desperate, barely-better-than-average-looking bitch to her face either.

  12. Mama Pinkus

    women get emotional when you’re just not into them? check into the stats for stalking to see which gender REALLY becomes unhinged

  13. At first I was thinking: This has to come from Mayer. This whole “he broke up with her because she parties too hard”? Come on. But if it did come from him, why would he admit he did it over email? Then I remembered it’s John Mayer and he’s kinda douchey.

  14. Taylor Swifts Tampon String

    I would like to remove him from the planet via email

  15. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    It must be important that he not get his hair wet.

  16. Katy Perry Bikini John Mayer Pool Party
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    As much as I dispise this douche I also respect his ability to screw over every chick that has fucked him and yet still get laid like crazy.

  17. mandope

    He is do damned unattractive to me. She should sleep with super attractive nobodies

  18. Claire

    “John Mayer Acts Like A Douche” – are people actually surprised by this?! Come on!

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