John Mayer Dumped Katy Perry Over Email

For reasons I’ll never fully understand, women get all emotional whenever you tell them you really aren’t as into them as you pretended to be to talk them into sex which makes it awkward to at least have the courtesy to break up with them in person. Then again, it’s not like there’s a law saying you have to. Back me up, John Mayer. Via Hollywood Life:

So what happened? According to an Us Weekly source, John Mayer quickly grew “tired of Perry’s hard partying and decided to pull the plug.”
Adding more insult to injury, a friend tells the magazine that “he dumped her over email. She was furious and really hurt. She was into him, but he wasn’t feeling it.”

Through channels we legally can’t talk about, The Superficial has obtained an exclusive copy of the email John Mayer sent to Katy Perry letting her know it’s not cute to yak all over his couch during sex even if she giggles and says “Whoops!” afterward:

Dude, this convention is OFF THE CHAIN. First, we totally yelled “USA!” at this wetback trying to talk and then we were all like, “Let’s throw peanuts at that spook!” TAMPA FTMFW!!!

White POWAH,

- J.M.’s P.

Okay, that might have been the wrong email.

Photos: Coleman-Rayner