Is John Legend Being Held Against His Will?

In a recent interview with The Guardian, John Legend recalls the time he tried to shake off Chrissy Teigen (early on in their relationship) to presumably bang other models. Teigen wouldn’t allow it and she’s been wearing the pants ever since. Perhaps it’s time we send someone in for a welfare check to find out if she keeps him in a kennel or something…

The couple, who married in Italy in 2013, have been together for nearly a decade, with the brief exception of one almost-breakup. “I was really stressed and busy,” he says. “I was just like: ‘I’d just be happier single right now,’ and she was like: ‘No.’” They were dating again less than half an hour later. (from The Guardian)

The fact that the Teigen-Toothed Tiger has a death grip on John Legend’s penis doesn’t surprise me whatsoever. This blurb probably went down back in her ‘drinkin days’, so I assume the confrontation was a lot sloppier than John wants to remember…

“Chrissy, I think I need some space for a while…”
“Oh! Johnny wants to sleep with Ordinary People?! How cute!”
“I’m for real, Chrissy – I think I’d be happier if I were single again.”
*Chrissy’s eyes flash with green fire*
“You know, on second thought maybe we should just have another kid…”

Then again, there are plenty of women who don’t possess these things, so the guy doesn’t have it so bad.