Joey Fatone wants to help Britney – and possibly make out


Joey Fatone is reaching out to Britney Spears – in the creepiest way possible. While appearing on Extra, he had the following to say:

“I think she just needs some time, some time to really heal.”
He’s now inviting her to take refuge far away from Hollywood at his home in Orlando.
“Britney call me, come over to my house, come to Orlando, get way from it all,” he pleaded. “It’s a good thing to get out of L.A.”
Fatone admitted he hasn’t seen Britney in a while but added, “If you’re there, let me know. I’m here for you sweetheart.”

Listen, Joey, I understand that you were the fat guy in N’Sync and Justin Timberlake got all the tail. Including Britney’s when it was fashionable to do so. Now, not so much. Anyway, I have to admit, your plan, while desperate, is pretty clever. If you do get Britney to your house, there is a 110% chance she’ll get naked. I also hear she’s drinking a lot, so that’s good and will help her get over the whole fat thing. Whether that entails you being fat or Britney being self-conscious about her own weight is between you two and the Burger King drive-thru she’ll make you go through at least twice in one hour. Don’t forget to stop at Dairy Queen on the way back. Britney needs a Blizzard to get in the mood – ooh, and a milkshake!

Update: Apparently Joey Fatone is married and has kids. I had no idea people still do the whole mail-order bride thing. You learn something new everyday.