Joe Simpson to manage Britney Spears?

April 25th, 2007 // 30 Comments
britney-spears-abs-millennium.jpg

According to an inside source, Jessica Simpson’s dad, Joe Simpson, is considering managing Britney Spears and even tried to set up a meeting with her over the weekend. Although I thought he only liked managing his daughters. And by “managing” I mean “trying to have sex with.” Has this guy done anything for their careers other than stand in the background of all their photos and look creepy? I guess he did get Jessica Simpson those Pizza Hut commercials. Seriously, my coffee maker could probably do a better job.

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  1. Nsomniac

    Wait, she still has a career? I thought we called what she does a “lady of the night”. FRIST

  2. NicotineEyePatch

    Managing careers is the new black. Did I say black? I meant the new titty-fuck.

  3. It’s not like he could do any worse for Britney than where is she now.

  4. gunit2074

    if i was joe….i would try and have a foursome wit brit jess and ash

  5. Hecubus

    This deal will fall through, the only person I see actually managing Britney in the future will be Joe Francis.

  6. no1justminda

    Nice one #5!!!!

  7. bungoone

    wouldn’t he have to be offered the job first in order to “consider” it. what a fucktard. like he’s doing britney any favors. get over yourself Joe!

  8. jrzmommy♠

    So, by “setting up a meeting”…..does that mean he hung out in a tree taking pictures of her undressing?

  9. cacw

    mwahahahaahahaahahaha #2

  10. xXrebeccaXx

    God what is she thinking!?!?! She’s been this crazy bald-headed, cowboy boot wearing lunatic for all this time…..so to get her life/career back on track she’s considering Joe Simpson the incestual manager?

  11. oh he’d be a WONDERFUL manager. and by wonderful, i mean tragic. she’d turn doing Burger King commercials once again ruining that “nice body” of hers. That’s just what the world needs. another fat restaurant pig.

  12. tits_on_snack

    Oh, so she can turn into a fat orange ass-chin chimpanzee too?

  13. whitegold

    He’s such a creepy perv! And highly untalented. So given BS’s choice of men, he should be perfect for her, right?

  14. Maybe he’s Britney’s next husband.

  15. the chicken

    The most important question is, does he know how to accept a real woman’s love?

  16. DancingQueen

    So by “managing” her he means having sex with her like he did with his daughters?

  17. lambman

    Yep, because what Britney needs is a reality TV show and a lip synching scandal….BEST MANAGER EVER

  18. BarbyGurrl

    I bet that when it is discovered that this really ISN’T true, he’ll do an “Aw Shucks” face and start doing a hoe down dance

  19. DrPhowstus

    Am I the only one who didn’t buy the flip out/ rehab thing? I mean c’mon… she went for lyposuction and body sculpting. All that other mess was the workings of a pretty fucking smart publicist intent on showing her miraculous rebound.

    That said, the Simpson girls must have assholes the size of beer cans at this point. And you know the old saying “No matter how hot some chick is, somewhere, some guy is sick of fucking her.

  20. krbcan

    While Joe has somehow managed to make careers for his no-talent daughters, they seem to follow his instructions. Britney seems too rebellious right now, and I cant see her taking direction from anyone for a while until she really hits rock-bottom, and realizes she is too stupid to be making any career decisions by herself. I think Joe would give up very quickly if he was to take Britney on right now.

  21. Nsomniac

    Their first order of business will be getting their fuck on. It’s a good talking point for Joel. He can tell everyone “she’s like a daughter to me”.

  22. MrTom

    Anyone else read that as “Joe Simpson to MARRY Britney Spears?”

    I suppose I’m used to seeing that word next to her name.

  23. Truthseeker013

    Wouldn’t she be kinda *old* for him?

  24. yessssss britney is getting her sexy abs back!!!! She is gonna be a hotttie again in no time!

  25. crazycowlady

    For a minute there, I thought it read “Joe Simpson massaging Britney Spears”. Wouldn’t have surprised me either.

  26. pookiedoo

    Omigod, I had no idea Joe was Britney’s father, too… Why else would he want to fuck, er, “manage” her?

  27. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    LMMFAO 15!

  28. Hey Plowshit–still stuck up chickens ass? Heard about what happeded at the rest-stop bathroom..what assholes!

  29. Yea, Joe Simpson manageing anyone is a career in the trash can…get a real job…

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