Joe Simpson doesn’t control his daughters, loves people ‘to death’

June 10th, 2008 // 41 Comments

Joe Simpson gets a lot of flack for his involvement in his daughter’s lives whether it’s for selling photo rights of his unborn grandchild or trying to manage Tony Romo’s $67 million football contract. But ole Papa Simpson set the record straight with Us Weekly:

On rumors he controls his daughters:
“The media says that I try to plan everything – If I had half of the power they give me…They [Ashlee and Jessica] don’t call me and ask me. They call me and tell me.”

On Jessica and Tony Romo:
He adds that Jessica “… is as happy as I’ve seen her in years.” and gushes about the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, “He’s a great guy. I love Tony to death….He’s just a good kid….”

On Ashlee and Pete Wentz:
“I love Pete to death…He has a patient spirit and a kind heart…I’m honored to have Pete as my son-in-law.”

On his daughters’ breasts:
“They’re just great investments… I love them to death!”*

*Maybe possibly not an actual quote. But, if it sounds believable, then it’s gotta be true. Enjoy that journalistic nugget. On the house!

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Casey

    Too funny.

  2. thumper

    I love Danielle (TM) to death. She’s hot.

  3. Barely Stearn

    First bitches!

  4. butterfly

    LOL on that last comment regarding the breasts…Papa Joe Papa Joe..a little too late to do damage control now!

    Somewhere Nick is thanking his lucky stars he got out of that family.

  5. You leave damnYELL alone #2… she’s MY punching bag… and the (TM) stands for Too Macho…

    #3 – You’re the first to lose to #2…

  6. @2 Back off Jack, Danielle is mine.

  7. jrz

    Whoa whoa whoa!!!! I had her first….DanYELL is MINE!

  8. What does Danielle have to do with Britney??

  9. p0nk

    danielle, please post more pictures. the pages keep sticking together.

  10. pj7

    The family has a dominant Attention Whore gene.

  11. ToTellTheTruth

    He acts like he’s fucking Jessica…

  12. What the hell is going one in here. All the old timers are coming back. First Danielle and now P0nk..

  13. Auntie Kryst

    Fuck, get E! on the line now! I got a show idea to pitch them. Douchefucker Joe Simpson marries ubercunt Dina Lohan. They merge their families to form the most unholy hollyweird clan. It’s called the Hades Bunch!!

  14. That’s a cute outfit, minus the aluminum foil bag and orthopedic shoes.

    Her dad sounds like a sociopath though. I pity Pete for marrying into the family. I can only imagine what the holidays would be like.

  15. jrz

    Oh, I’ve heard it all now…….Miss Dollar Parlor 2008 is critiqueing someone’s clothes.

  16. ebonics man

    #14 What DanYell really said:

    That’suh cute outfit, minus da aluminum foil bag an’ orthopedic kicks.

    Her pops sounds like uh sociopath though. I pity Pete fo’ marrying into da family. I can only imagine what da holidays would be like.

    otay buh-weet

  17. dovetale

    Why is she carrying the moon lander?

  18. #15 – Dollar Parlor?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    #9 – Hilarious

  19. I TRY, I really do. I try to stick to the topic, and the jizzbags keep stalking me. reporting all of you trailerhippies to The Fish.

    *grabs cellphone*

  20. Lola

    #13
    That is such a good idea… It makes complete sense. Papa Joe is a dad-ager and Dina HO-han is a mom-ager….. These 2 get together and merge families, it’ll be the best thing to ever hit Hollywood….. Along with a new type of diseases of course.
    Jessica Simpson, I just feel so bad for her. I don’t think she has any talent to be honest. Actually none of them in her family. She looked so needy and pathetic while dating John Mayer, changing who she was and how she looks for him. And now she’s doing the same with this dude….. I mean who goes on a magazine professing their love for a man they’ve only been dating for a couple of months? God help you J. Simpson

  21. Edna Bambrick

    Danielle – reported!

  22. @21. Shouldn’t you be eating gravy out of can while listening to show tunes or something?? Wait, didn’t you die?

  23. The Disciplinarian

    Danyell & everyone on this site: Let’s quit the fighting. Danyell is not important enough for all this attention. Danyell, go to your corner and think about what you’ve done to become the laughingstock of the Fish (with the likes of Amy, Kim, Britney & others regularly posted about who are complete loonies, that’s quite an accomplishment).

    Now, baaaaaack to the subject at hand….

  24. Barack

    Q: Why are black guys eyes red after sex? A: From the pepper spray.

  25. #24 that was baaad..

  26. #22 – You do try… you really do. And we love you for it…

    ok fine, I couldn’t say that with a straight face… I have to slam my dick in a car door since I looked at your latest headshot… ‘scuse me… SLAM!!!

    AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

  27. #19 – Should that read *grabs other person’s cellphone*?

  28. @27. Go contract an STD.

  29. p0nk

    @27. took me about 15 seconds but THAT was funny.

  30. The Fish Shack

    Order up! Order up! DanYELL, your Boston Steamer is ready!

  31. Surgeon General

    #28 No one’s going near your cooch, you can’t give yours away.

  32. I@31. Virgins don’t get STD’s bitch.

  33. Surgeon General

    #32 Like I said, no one’s going near your cooch. Try wearing a paper bag if they make one big enough. Or just keep saving up. Even blind guys need money.

  34. Lola

    I’m so lost. How did we get from Jessica Simpson to DanYell? Who is DanYell? I’m sorry. I’m slow

  35. Wax Master

    #34 DanYell is a most unfortunate biotch that we all here have the bad luck to have to endure. Feel free to click on her picture to get the full effect of the creature of the blackest lagoon, DANYELL

  36. OMG

    She is my favorite actress. She looks sexy and pretty. I love her.
    I saw her profile on millionairedatingsite”"”"” “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m”"”"” last week.Is she single now? Just curious.

  37. Lola

    LOL… Thanks WaxMaster. I thought that was a nickname for the celebrities or something…. LOL. Thanks hun

  38. She looks maybe DUMB?
    but be sure………………………………………………SHE IS!!!!!!!

  39. False Quotes?

    The last quote cannot possibly be true. I got a belly-laugh from it, but it must be false. I’m no lawyer but isn’t it illegal to mis-quote someone like that? As soon as I read it I thought, “Whoops someone just fucked up”.

  40. Good post!As i was passing by here and i read your post.
    It’s quite interesting.I will look around for more such post.Thanks for sharing.

  41. Good post!As i was passing by here and i read your post.
    It’s quite interesting.I will look around for more such post.Thanks for sharing.

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