Joe Francis serving time, going nuts

April 24th, 2007 // 71 Comments
joe-francis-bribery.jpg

Joe Francis plead guilty to criminal contempt yesterday and will be fined $5,010 and serve 35 days in jail, minus time served. Additionally, he’s reportedly going crazy and breaking down because his ward-mate – a convicted cop killer – keeps taunting him and shouting: “Girls Gone Wild! Joe Francis! Whoo!”

Last week, said Dyer, Francis missed the medication cart and “went into a full-blown anxiety attack.”

I almost feel sorry for this guy. And by almost I mean not at all. He could be an orphan who got sick trying to help the homeless, and right when my heart was about to break I’d see a picture of his face and scream: “Give him the chair!” Then people would explain to me he isn’t set to be executed and I’d pause, put my finger to my mouth, and reply: “Gas chamber?”

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  1. Conky

    Aww, poor baby.

  2. dirt chicken

    Take it from someone who knows … they ain’t putting a guy convicted of criminal conempt with a 35 day sentence in with a fucking cop-killer … it just ain’t happening. I call bullshit on this !

  3. IFuckingHateYou

    This guy is my fucking HERO.
    He’s made millions by talking drunk college chicks to flash their tits. I wish I had thought of that, I could have made at least $1.98 with the same concept.

    Too bad his brain is rotting away from the syphilis he contracted from Paris.

  4. Out of all the nasty fucked up things he’s done and recorded on video, THIS IS WHAT HE GETS BUSTED FOR??? What the deuce!
    Justice System Gone Wild!!!!

    P.S. Bend over and take it like a man, you foot cramp

  5. beans_caw

    What is up with chode boys smile?

  6. beans_caw

    Looks like he is trying to take a shit!

  7. FRIST!!!

    #2…I agree, embellishment for entertainment purposes

  8. BigJim

    Ass blasted by a cop killer. Sounds like justice to me…

  9. NotTheMomma

    Yeah, right. Like you’ve never cranked off to his videos before. This guy no more forced those chicks to show their titties than I did. I don’t know what the fuss is all about. You only wish YOU were this rich and famous.

  10. Captain Walleye

    He looks like the Joker in Batman. Look at his mouth. He’s sure got a purty mouth…

  11. diarrhea riot

    He should have just felched more Xanax out of his ass-pharmacy.

  12. FRIST!!!

    Wait that news is on the radio right now. It’s true, only he’s right in the next cell. Also, Joe has 23 days left. He’s suffering full blown anxiety attacks.

    I bet he’s curled up in a corner in the fetal position sucking his thumb. Or the guy next door is sucking his dick. That would help MY anxiety…

  13. Sparkles13

    I hate his face.

  14. Sparkles13

    #10 That’s an insult to Mr. J.

  15. NicotineEyePatch

    #9, I am only upset because the guys I’ve gotten drunk and sexually humiliated were too ashamed to tell anyone, let alone press charges. They just skulked off with their dicks hanging limply between their legs, vowing to never, ever try to take advantage of a woman ever again.

  16. That’ll learn ‘um.

  17. InvaderZim

    What a little girl… 35 days in a county jail and he goes nuts? What the hell?

  18. Ossot

    #2, he’s probably in county, and by “cell mate” i’m sure the media means just some random asshat in yelling distance.

    Take it from someone else who knows.. jails are a tad louder then libraries.

  19. Dory

    What is girls gone wild??? sorry dont live in america and had never heard of this guy or girls gone wild till i saw this story on the net!

  20. caljenna

    How do you ‘miss the medication cart’ in jail? Seriously. Are the inmates roaming around like free range chickens or what? I’ve never been to jail, but it seems to me like when the medication cart comes around they shouldn’t have all the inmates moving around freely. I’m just sayin. I picture the junkies running to it like kids to the ice cream man…

  21. whitegold

    “$5,010″…what the fuck is the extra $10 for? What, an even $5K would have been too simple, they had to throw in the extra $10?!

  22. LL

    I guess it’s hard to make the adjustment from a huge house full of people kissing your ass to a tiny cell in a jail full of people who would like to beat your ass down. Still, it’s hard to feel sorry for a guy who got rich getting suckers to buy videos of “college girls” acting like whores (or whores acting like “college girls”, not sure which). He’s a douchebag. It’d be nice if he learned something from this experience, but he probably won’t. He’ll probably brag about how he’s done time to get stupid drunk chicks to show their titties and go on being the same asshole he always. He almost makes Britney look good by comparison. Almost.

  23. jakebarnes

    That little shit needs to learn to take his punishment like a man.

  24. jrzmommy♠

    did he think to bring his soap-on-a-rope?

  25. DrPhowstus

    I wonder if he gets cigarettes in the pen for lifting his shirt?

  26. meee

    there’s something incredibly awkward about his mouth/face shape. ew.

  27. DulceBellum

    Francis is nothing but a glorified rapist. Here is one of hundreds of articles on the subject. I’m surprised it’s taken this long to throw this dirt bag in jail. Finally a problem he can’t just throw money at. Nice ignorant comment NotTheMomma. Sorry, we’re not all pathetic pervs.

    http://www.latimes.com/features/magazine/west/la-tm-gonewild32aug06,0,2664370.story

  28. lambman

    This news made my day!

  29. lambman

    26- looks like the classic underbite to me

  30. DulceBellum

    Grrr, won’t fit. Oh well, just Google ‘LA times Claire Hoffman Joe Francis’. Great article.

  31. NotTheMomma

    #27, oh, so you’re the decider of ignorant comments now.
    These dumb cunts know what they’re getting into when they get drunk around a bunch of testosterone filled college guys. I don’t feel sorry for them at all. And it’s ignorant fucks like you who can’t grasp that concept.
    Hot chick + lots of booze + horny college guys = clothes being taken off.
    You can’t tell me these women don’t know that something could happen if they get drunk.
    It’s not ok for a guy to screw a drunk chick, but it’s ok for a drunk chick to take her clothes off and beg for it. Whatever.
    Post again and I’ll make a dumbass out of you again.
    What’s that in your hand? Oh…your ass, I just handed it to you. Dork.

  32. blondewithnobrain

    everytime i see him, i want to smash his face in. ESPECIALLY since i read that article about him in the LA Times…WHAT a freaking JERK!!!

  33. SuperG

    #26…as #29 stated, underbite…that and a bad nose job!

  34. HughJorganthethird

    This should be titled “Joe Francis serving time, fellating nuts”

    For accuracies sake and shit

  35. 21st century digital boy

    I want this to be true, but I’m skeptical.

  36. Superevil

    God, if you can hear me, PLEASE let Joe Francis get brutally raped in the ass. Thanks.

  37. doomhammer

    Im sure his anxiety is off the charts. Prison is a helluva place to do a rapid drug detox. hahahahaha

  38. blondewithnobrain

    i saw part of a “Shockumentary” about Spring Break…oh my God…these kids are so STUPID nowadays. They have this feeling of entitlement and immortality like i’ve never seen…unreal.

  39. p911gt10c

    #32 You speak of others being ignorant, the “dumb cunts” being ignorant… yet you would speak for these women by saying they knew what they were in for?
    Now that is true ignorance.
    The only way this bound-for-a-seat-beside-Hilter-in-hell fool can even get close to girls is by making sure they’re drunk. He even pays for the drinks in order to shove a piece of paper into their face(the waiver saying that he can profit from anything they do, thereby screwing them out of any money he’ll make) and then turns the cam on.
    This man preys on the fact that women who simply want some good natured fun trust that they, like men, can go out, get buckwild and leave it in the club.
    The fact that he’ll eventually put out his works to the public, humilliating women in the process, does not make him admirable.
    it makes him scum. And you being his worshiper Notthemama, well, that makes you something even worse…pity you’re not in that cell with him. Sounds like you two would be quite close.

    Pwned

  40. iamsosmrt

    Hilarious commenytary by Superfish.

    Joe Fra… okay this douche isn’t worth any of my time so writing his entire name gives him way more credit than he deserves. All I can ask is could the judge PLEASE order him to wear a policeman uniform for the duration of his jail time … you know since his ward mate is a convicted cop killer.

  41. iamsosmrt

    * comentary
    In my defense my fingers were covered in massage oil, because hot poeple have sexy massages in the middle of the day while ugly people do ugly things … like send faxes.

  42. diarrhea riot

    Holy shit #37– i can’t stop laughing.
    GOLD!

  43. artmonkey3000

    I hope he gets bent over the bedrail so many times he has to shit in a bag for the rest of his misbegotten life.

    Then someone starts taping his eventual drunken escapades ands sells them under a “Douchebags with Shredded Colons Gone Wild.”

  44. JungleRed

    Observations that may be self-evident:

    1) Francis looks like the bastard son of Jon Lovitz and The Joker.

    2) Francis is a bad name to have in jail.

    3) #32 likes sniffing Francis’ shitstains.

    4) There is a lot of misogyny and exploitation in this world and girls would be advised take precautions and use the legal system to their advantage.

    5) This gives me hope that Paris may be the next one to get thrown in the pokey to get wrinkled out by a bunch of bull-dykes.

  45. blondewithnobrain

    Being a woman, i don’t EVER think a woman is “asking” to be raped…but you need to be SMART about the situations you put yourself in. In the LA Times article…he rapes her, she didn’t want the sex (and she said she was a virgin)…BUT she was also stupid for putting herself in that bus, drunk, ALONE with men. Also, he is providing ALCOHOL to underage girls…18 being the primary age he is looking for (MINORS). the incident in question took place in Chicago, where the drinking age is 21. how has he NOT been nailed for THAT?!?!?!?

  46. Donkey

    I think this guy is what you would get if you genetically combined a large mouth bass with a human.

  47. Truthseeker013

    I will be first in line to buy the video.

  48. blondewithnobrain

    READ the LA Times article! it is a TRAINWRECK and he is a SCUMBAG…he prowls for little girls, gets them drunk and films them. the girls do it because they think they will be “discovered” and become a celebrity…it is a GREAT article.

  49. sharpei dude

    Who is this monkey spunk again?

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