Joe Francis: ‘Samantha Ronson has a bigger penis than I do’

Joe Francis stopped by E!’s Hollywood Party Girl where he went off on Lindsay Lohan’s relationship with Samantha Ronson. He claims Sam is a jealous control freak and also has a gigantic penis. How else would she snare Lindsay? Considering the source of this claim is the genius who invented Girls Gone Wild, I believe it. Joe then went on to state what we all know is true: Lindsay is not a lesbian:

“Lindsay’s straight. I think Sam has taken ownership of Lindsay. I think if Sam were to let Lindsay go even that much; Lindsay would revert back to being straight.”

I think if Sam and Lindsay’s relationship ended in murder-suicide, I’d order a pizza. Too real? You’re right. Better make it Mexican.

Video: E!