Joe Francis is back to work (Sweet!)

March 13th, 2008 // 27 Comments

Joe Francis may have just gotten out of jail yesterday but he’s already back in his LA office making sure that drunk chicks are showing their boobs to guys with cameras. He’s got 50-60 heroes in 14 cities right now doing, what can only be described as, God’s work. Page Six has the details:

Unlike past years, when he’d hit beach resorts in Florida, Texas and Mexico to oversee the spring break filming, he’ll be in his office. “I’ve got a magazine to put out,” he explained. The first Girls Gone Wild magazine is due to hit newsstands April 15 at $9.99 a copy, poly-bagged with a full-length CD featuring drunken exhibitionist co-eds.

Hold on. It’s Spring Break, already? Why didn’t someone tell me? *strips* PARTY!! WOOOOOOO!!

Legal Notice: Anticlown Media would like to apologize for the traffic jam that resulted when The Superficial Writer pressed his naked body against the window of our building. None of us could have ever expected so many women would abandon their vehicles to try and form a “chick pyramid” to reach his body which was carved from the sexiest granite on the planet. Unfortunately they failed because it’s a scientific fact women can’t do geometry. There, jackass, I wrote it. Now please return my car and I hope to God you didn’t put your bare ass on my leather seats. I saw how much coffee you drank this morning.

superficial

  1. Pootie

    First!!!!

  2. agree

    He is a cuttie. I saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “WealthyRomance.com” last week. Is he single now?

  3. Pootie

    Pootie, smooth, smooth, Pootie, smooth, he’s so smooth, Pootie, smooth!

  4. whatev

    he’s hot. he can see my boobs anytime

  5. His idea of drunken women showing their boobs for a t-shirt is the 2nd best idea ever. Right behind who ever thought of the idea of women showing their boobs for little plastic beads on Bourbon Street!

    Oh, #1 & 2 – both of you are douches!

  6. Ted from LA

    Fish,
    You’re stale. Delete the “Legal Notice.” It’s not funny at all. It’s embarrassing.

  7. He’s learned his lesson. Now he’ll have somebody bring the girls to his office. Then they’ll sign a legal consent form. Then he’ll rape them.

    Talk about a dream life!

  8. HEY!

    Come on, Fish, get off your ass and post the story about the real identity of Eliot Spitzer’s 4-grand whore. There are pictures now. He’s the gov of NY and he had to resign, plus she’s hot. Nothing is a bigger story today.

  9. Mike

    Oooh… a $10 magazine with a CD. Time to party like it’s 1999!

  10. D. Richards (Mother.)

    #6! Ha-Ha!

    Why’s that Joe-prick smiling like a four year-old little girl? Because he’s a doophus? Oh.

  11. Zim

    Ted, that’s the Fish trying to skew to the younger audience that’s been visiting the site to watch anime-Britney. Most of them think the “Legal Notice” bit was the funniest thing they ever read.

  12. veggi

    Women can’t do geometry? Fish, is your ‘woman’ your old gym sock you rub on your dick at night?

  13. I can’t do geometry. Hate it.

    Isn’t this moron’s 15 minutes over yet? I’m sick of looking at his vapid, unwashed face.

  14. poola

    this shite is shit, just some guy always going on about who he’d like to fuck….

  15. peeps

    Fuckface since you’re still rolling in dough kindly by yourself a peicec of rope and a chair.

    Thanks.

  16. sicasso

    Joe, how’s the I.B.S.?

  17. That fact that Joe Francis is successful just shows how douche-tastic the general population is.

  18. Veroonica

    Why is everybody bitching about this man? The best way to do anything about this fucktard is just not buy his shit. I saw one of those videos once, and it was crap. Some dumb, buck ass agly, drunken whore with no tits, jumping around with her bikini top swingin’ around her like a necklace. Big freakin’ deal. Personally, I think you have to be pretty hard up to buy that shit when thier is much better porn around. But hey, this is America.

    Oh. 18? It’s common knowledge Joe is a bigot. I highly doubt he would go asian, even if you have the body of a twelve year old.

  19. norton

    Are there really enough people out there buying his “videos” for him to have a private jet and exotic cars?

    If so, not only is he a douche-nozzle there must be a lot of hard up douche-nozzles out there with $19.95 or whatever the stupid thing costs.

    There are any number of free porn video sites out there folks…

  20. Gerald_Tarrant

    He isn’t doing God’s work. There is no God. Proof you ask? I prayed to God that this fuckface would die in prison from anal bleeding due to excessive rape. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one praying for that too. Did it happen? No, here’s old shitbag prancing around like he never even went to jail. No God, none.

  21. JJ

    Is he still dating entertainment the reporter out in LA? Anyone?? anyone?? He is cute.

  22. ipanema_schuyler

    why does this douche face has 57 teeth in his ugly mouth ??

  23. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    C’mon #23…his fellow inmates always said he had the nicest teeth they ever came across.

  24. Rage Against the Vagine

    even a jibbed up drunk on spring break should realize this douche is ACTUALLY an evil ventriloquists dummy! look at him!
    (which makes me wonder who’s got their hand up his ass.)

  25. Rage Against the Vagine

    even a jibbed up drunk on spring break should realize this douche is ACTUALLY an evil ventriloquists dummy! look at him!
    (which makes me wonder who’s got their hand up his ass.)

  26. misery bunny

    21 i … wuv … you

  27. pointandlaugh

    What #23 said

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