Joe The Plumber Is The New Face of Second Amendment Rights (No Givebacks)

It’s easy, if not therapeutic, to forget that during the 2008 presidential election, John McCain gave us not one, but two perpetual idiots who by all rights should’ve been nothing more than comedic footnotes in history by now, but instead became Tea Party darlings because the invisible hand has spoken and it wants never-ending buckets of fried dumb. Which brings us to Joe The Plumber, the Shit-Adam to Sarah Palin’s Shit-Eve, birthed into our national Garden of Eden by a man who was probably at the real one and told God to get off his lawn. Here Joe would like Richard Martinez, the father of UCSB shooting victim Chris Martinez and now-outspoken NRA critic, to know that while he feels really bad about losing him a son, he’d appreciate it if his kid’s ghost stays the fuck away from his guns. You understand, right? Via Barbwire:

I’m not talking here about the three tragic murders Rodger committed by stabbing before his driving and shooting spree; I speak now only to the families of the gunshot victims in Santa Barbara:
It’s a tragedy.
I am sorry you lost your child. I myself have a son and daughter and the one thing I never want to go through, is what you are going through now. But:
As harsh as this sounds – your dead kids don’t trump my Constitutional rights.
Richard Martinez, whose son (Christopher) was among the murdered, choked back tears at a news conference, blaming politicians the next day: “The talk about gun rights. What about Chris’ right to live?” Martinez said – and much more.
There are no critical words for a grieving father. He can say whatever he wants and blame whoever he’d like – it’s okay by me. You can’t take a step in his shoes – at least I can’t.
But the words and images of Mr. Martinez blaming “the proliferation of guns”, lobbyists, politicians, etc.; will be exploited by gun-grab extremists as are all tragedies involving gun violence and the mentally ill by the anti-Second Amendment Left.
As a father, husband and a man, it is my responsibility to protect my family. I will stand up for that right vehemently. Please believe me, as a father I share your grief and I will pray for you and your family, as I do whenever I hear about senseless tragedies such as this.
We still have the Right to Bear Arms and I intend to continue to speak out for that right, and against those who would restrict it – even in the face of this horrible incident by this sad and insane individual. I almost said “Obama Voter” but I’m waiting for it to be official.


Here’s the amazing, and soul-crushingly depressing, part about all of this: Joe The (Not A Real) Plumber could’ve just kept his mouth shut and would’ve completely gotten his way. Because here’s the sad, despicable truth which Richard Martinez brought up himself: If this country didn’t do a goddamn thing after 20 first- and second-graders were ruthlessly murdered inside an elementary school, a couple of dead college kids isn’t going to do jackshit. Jesus Christ, the best we could do in the aftermath of Sandy Hook was to get both sides of the aisle to at least openly admit that, okay, maybe we should do something before not only doing nothing, but actually making gun laws more lax. So, really, Joe The Plumber could’ve just shut the fuck up and everything would’ve come up guns, but instead he had to open his trap and give second amendment fetishists the face of an over-entitled white man who deserves what he wants and better get it or else. Which is just the perfect position to take in this situation, and I actually wish I was saying that sarcastically because did I mention the gun nuts already won? The gun nuts already won. I need a fucking Xanax.

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