Joe Simpson Looks Like This Now

Last week, rumors surfaced that Jessica Simpson’s dad Papa Joe has been a closeted homosexual this whole time, except here he is looking straight as can be on Friday. Because if there’s one thing us red-blooded, heterosexual male can’t get enough of, it’s making ourselves look like Ellen DeGeneres. Which is actually true in my case, but mostly to trick Portia de Rossi. And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Wait, wouldn’t his penis tip her off?” Would it? Would it really?

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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