Joe Simpson Looks Like This Now

October 29th, 2012 // 45 Comments
This Guy's Gay?
Joe Simpson Gay
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Last week, rumors surfaced that Jessica Simpson‘s dad Papa Joe has been a closeted homosexual this whole time, except here he is looking straight as can be on Friday. Because if there’s one thing us red-blooded, heterosexual male can’t get enough of, it’s making ourselves look like Ellen DeGeneres. Which is actually true in my case, but mostly to trick Portia de Rossi. And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Wait, wouldn’t his penis tip her off?” Would it? Would it really?

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. He must feel like a huge weight has been lifted off his chest. Maybe only to be replaced by men’s balls, but regardless.

  2. FastFoodLocal151

    He looks like he’s trying out for the International Male catalog.

  3. Johnny P!

    He’s gone Full Elton!

  4. Annie

    Gosh, I would be mortified if this was my father. Trolling West Hollywood with a 20 year old rent boy? It must be difficult when a parent comes out of the closet (Mandy Moore’s mom left her dad for a woman too), and even harder when they can’t do it with dignity.
    This kid is on Twitter blabbing about money and expensive things. Clearly Joe uses him for sex, he uses him for connections because he’s an aspiring model~.

    Yet another example of how conservative, religious nutjobs overcompensate for the massive skeletons in their closet.

    • I mean, I don’t know if he’s conservative, but the reason he had to live life in the closet (and probably the same reason he is overcompensating with a boy toy now) is because of conservative, religious nutjobs that support politicans and make it so gay people are treated like second class citizens. Him running around with this boy toy is no difference than the hundreds of male celebrities that are running around with girls half their age. You think the girls really love them?

      • Annie

        Well, he is a very religious and conservative man because he is a MINISTER of a Church, who spent years preaching about how girls shouldn’t have sex until they’re married, and all that crap religious assholes spew to judge women when in the meantime they love to sleep with kids 40 years younger than them behind their wives’ back until they get caught and then they have to confess and it’s like tah-dah, not only am I gay, I like twinks and I pay for them, and read our flirty tweets back and forth.

        I don’t care if you’re straight or gay, having sex with someone much younger than you is disgusting, especially when there’s this exchange of goods: like money, gifts, promises of a career. I’d be humiliated if this was my husband or father. Not only is he gross but a complete and utter hypocrite.

      • Lauren

        Yes, he did spend years as a minister. However, people do change their minds on things all of the time and there isn’t anything wrong with changing your mind on a viewpoint. I don’t know why people find that a hard idea to comprehend.

  5. Milkman

    I’m sure a tumblr account for lesbianswholooklikejoesimpson is en route!

  6. mismy

    he looks like my grandmother wtf

  7. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    Dance, Ellen, Dance!!

  8. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The hot new color for men this season is the whimsical “buttercup” shade of pastel yellow, modeled here by Joey S.

  9. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    Gabriell’s going to do what Gabriell wants to do.

  10. barack barry

    he must love that “fabulous” sweater.
    fruit much?

  11. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Mitt Romney killed Big Bird.

  12. I don’t care much about how he’s dressed. What gave him away is that he has a white iPhone. I repeat, a WHITE. IPHONE.


    Justin Beiber in 20 years

  14. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that the guy from Hulk Hogan’s press conference a few weeks ago?

  15. I’m glad he’s comfortable enough with himself to show his true colours. I could never hide who I am just for other people’s comfort, but then again I’m not gay, so I can’t relate.

  16. El Jefe

    Well his new look pretty much speaks for itself.

  17. Bringbackbabalu

    I didn’t know Ron Perleman was Jessica Simpsons father!?

  18. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! He was Hulk’s Lawyer all along!!

  19. Joe Blow

    Ah…. he’s one half of the “Unambiguously Gay Duo” now.

  20. zomgbie

    e! channel reality show “twinking up with papa joey”
    in 3… 2… 1…

  21. DeucePickle

    Ahhh, It’s a boner kinda morning

  22. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    “We will now use the power of the Continuum Transfunctioner to banish you to Hoboken, New Jersey…”

  23. kimmykimkim

    He looks like a gayer Perez Hilton. Did not know that could be done.

  24. anonym

    now he’s not even hiding it, not that he wasn’t hiding it much before.

  25. So is this… less gay?.. or more? I can’t tell.

  26. KC

    I know everyone thinks he looks like Ellen Degeneres, but all I can see is Gary Busey.

  27. I don’t understand why you people are judging the guy…plus isn’t he in LA anyway?

  28. terry

    Boy, the comedians are going to have a fucking field day.

  29. Schweddy Snatch

    He looks like Gary Busey after a “boys’ night out” with Elton John. Brings all new meaning to “Can You Feel the Love Tonight.”

  30. Burt

    The guy’s bisexual and dumped his wife for a man. That’s not the same as coming out of the closet.

  31. Joe Simpson New Look Makeover
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Gary Busey!

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