There’s A Plane Flying Over Penn State Threatening To Tear Down Joe Paterno’s Statue

July 17th, 2012 // 59 Comments
Joe Paterno Statue
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Presumably in response to reports that Penn State will not remove Joe Paterno‘s statue despite the Freeh Report exposing his role in allowing convicted child rapist and former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky to roam free to avoid bad publicity, a plane is circling over Penn State University right now with a banner that reads “Take the statue down or we will,” according to the Patriot News. So let me the first to say that if it turns out Ashton Kutcher is behind this, too, I’ll fire a bullet in my mouth because this world sucks 18 dicks. Sucks them right up.

Photo: Getty


  1. Frank Burns

    “One in da stink!”

  2. Harry

    2 suggestions I have herd recently on what to do with that statue:

    1. Put it in the library as a reminder for students to be quiet.
    2. Turn it around so it looks the other way.

  3. I say leave it up for awhile so the student and vandalize it for some time.

  4. Leila

    everyone outside of penn state gets what a fucking shitty guy Jo Pa turned out to be. fingers crossed these guys have an actual plan to bring down or otherwise deface and destroy that pathetic statue.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      I would prefer it defaced, vandalized, and otherwise criminally removed rather than an official Penn State sanction.

  5. Dick Hell

    You mean there are actually people who think a statue of Joe celebrating a digital rectal exam is in poor taste?

  6. NittanyFan87

    I am so sad to hear this. The way ignorant. jealous, and vengeful people have been acting is disgusting. We need to put negative things behind us and remember all the good things JoePa did.

    • Taylor

      Letting negative things get behind us is what started all this trouble.

    • Smapdi

      You wore out this routine in the prior JoePa posts. Get something new.

      • NittanyFan87

        I think it speaks volumes to the insanity of the haters that concepts like “forgiveness” and “honoring countless good deeds” are considered a routine that has grown tiresome. I feel sorry for you sick weirdos. You need to get over your hating and jealousy and grow up!

      • achilles wrath

        Are you trolling or do you genuinely believe what you’re saying? We’re not talking not paying taxes or something, it’s CHILD RAPE!

      • CranAppleSnapple

        He’s a troll. And probably a rapist, because he thinks it’s no big deal.

      • I’m not forgiving someone who allowed little boys to be abused. Innocent little boys! INNOCENT LITTLE BOYS!


      • bettynuggs

        We’re not “haters” because we disagree with allowing child rape. I guess you are a hater of the victims of child abuse.

      • bettynuggs

        It’s ironic for you to be calling us “sick weirdos” when you are supporting a man who hid the sexual abuse of a child from authorities and continued to support a sexual predator. Despite all of the good things Paterno did, he was not the man many believed him to be, nor the person he presented to the public.

    • Ignorant…no, we now know from the Freeh report that Joe turned a blind eye to child rape.

      Jealous…no, I’m not a sports fan and have no dog in this hunt.


    • Oh, and whatever good things Joe did are overshadowed by his allowing little boys to be victimized.

    • yeah, and what about all the good things Hitler did?

      • MV

        OMG! You are actually going to pull the Hitler card? Do you actually know anything about Hitler? You are insulting every Jew, Catholic, Gypsy, and thousands of others who lost their lives in WWII by making light of their torture and murder. Try reading a book.

    • kimmykimkim

      Jealous! Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, now that’s just too funny.

    • edamame

      Randal, is that you?

  7. cc

    I wish I had a tank. Crushing it a with a tank would be fun.

    • There are places that will let you rent a tank to crush stuff. You just have to convince them to let you take a joy ride to Happy Anal Valley.

  8. bbiowa

    Maybe just put a bronze Jerry Sandusky behind it, so it will live in fear of statuetory rape.

  9. I don’t understand a single modicum of the defense to keep the statue up.

    “The legacy, everything he has done for us…”

    “But then he found his buddy was fucking children, and said, ‘Oh old Jerry is at it again, that rascal.’ That’s now his legacy. Everything before 5 months ago doesn’t matter anymore. If you get charged as an accomplice in theft for driving the car, murder for knowing about it and not reporting, then this old asshole should have died in prison, right?”

    “No… Because football. Football is more important than little boys.”

    I’d have no more words because I’d be busy with all the strangling.

  10. vgrly

    What about chopping the finger off and super gluing it to his crotch? That would make a statement.

  11. I love the idea of leaving the statue up as an official policy, then having to constantly pay to have the constant vandalism and defacements repaired.

    The fact that there is NOT a dildo shoved on that finger saddens me beyond rational explanation. Todays youths are just slackers.

  12. JoePa is Misunderstood

    JoePa never molested a boy. It’s like tearing down the Washington Monument because Martha Washington blew a slave against his will.

    • bbiowa

      Because children are property and anal rape by a father figure twice your size is as enjoyable as a BJ?

    • So really, you’re saying a sick fucker like Sandusky, whose sexual orientation (no matter how he arrived at it) is for little boys, is actually worse than Joe Paterno, who actually had no sexual urge to fuck kids, and could have stopped Sandusky preying on kids who were already in a program because their home environments classified them at risk? And not only chose not to report him, but kept him in an environment which allowed him to entice other victims? Riiiight.
      Paterno had many options open to him – he not only refused to act, he made a conscious choice to cover up the crime and enable future ones. He’s just as guilty of the rape of every child who was assaulted after McQueary reported what he saw as Sandusky is.

      You can stick your fucking lame-ass apologist analogy, along with the Washington Monument, up the orifice of your choice.

    • Jay

      First of all, we don’t know for a fact IF Martha did blow a slave, but we DO know for a fact that Joe Pa allowed innocent young boys to be around a rapist, that is unforgivable

  13. El Jefe

    My vote is for Thermite. Thermite on that statue would be awesome.
    Thermite on the statue with everyone at the top who allowed this to happen tied up to the statue would be even better.

  14. Area Man

    Hey, Joe. . .how many members are in the Joe-Pa fan club?

  15. NittanyFan87

    Listen to all you liberals. So jealous you can’f fit seven fingers in your own bungholes like I can. Seven. That’s all of them except for one pinky. Oh, and don’t start on your bleeding heart agenda that the thumbs are fingers too. They’re not. That’s why these animals we allegedly evolved from don’t have ‘em.

    • El Jefe

      So you admit that Christian Conservatives love to fuck little boys in the ass?

    • Juano

      Liberals? So, are you saying conservatives are in favor of child rape? I would expect the answer to that question is emphatically NO, so what does whether somebody is liberal or conservative have to do with this discussion?

      The logic of your argument escapes me. Next you’ll be blaming it on Obama because (to paraphrase that great logician John Sununu) he hasn’t learned to be an American. Idiot.

  16. PennStateandJesus4Life

    Joe Paterno was a good christian man. His only fault was trusting Sandusky too much. And, as Jesus, said, who is without sin cast the first stone!

    • Good Christian men cover for child rapists? Good thing I stopped going to church years ago.

    • So a “good Christian man” turns a blind eye to children being abused? A “good Christian man” not only hides the abuse, enabling the criminal perpetrating it to continue to hurt others, but a “good Christian man” provides a framework for him to attact new victims? Good to know.

      Listen up, you simplistic moron. According to scripture, God gave us free will so that we could choose to do either evil or good. You don’t get to knowingly do evil and then sit back and whine “don’t you judge me” and then still call yourself a Christian. Well, obviously you can, because you’re an idiot who actually knows nothing about the religion.

      And while judging someone on the basis of their morals, and exactling vengeance for spiritual transgressions, is supposed to be left up to God – which is the whole purpose of the “let he who is without sin” admonition, you might want to remember that Christ very conspicuously kept his nose out of the arena of secular law and government, even to admonishing people to pay their taxes. So next time you get a speeding ticket or do anything else that brings you before a court of law, be sure and tell the judge your brilliant little Jesus argument, above.

      And while you’re sidelined for contempt, take the time to look up “whited sepulchre”, because it’s abundantly clear you have no fucking idea that Christianity doesn’t involve hurting and abusing others. Paterno had an eyewitness informing him of a child rape, so he did a fuck of a lot more than just “trust[ing] Sandusky too much”.

    • Bane

      That’s a shame. Because he’s roasting and sucking dick in hell where he belongs.

  17. Rico Jones

    What really amazes me is all the Penn State fans that still go to the statue and worship it. These pathetic morons are worshiping the statue of a man they probably never met. Idol worship at its worst and I’m not even religious.

  18. Dr.J.Fever

    The statue is a sideshow. Pressure should be put on the Paterno FAMILY to return all the bonus money paid to Joe before he died including the box seats and other perks. Use that money as additional funds for the victims. He and his family benefited from turning a blind eye on a child rapist. After his family is disgraced and broke then tear down that statue.

    • No, let them keep it for when they remove the Paterno name off of the library. The school will probably have to give the money back for the library if that’s done, and frankly, I don’t feel like having my tuition go higher to cover the still-under-construction costs of the library. We’re already covering the costs of Sandusky’s pension and the lawsuits of the kids and McQueary. My tuition only went up $250 this year, but we’re going to get slammed next year.

      And while I agree with removing the statute, whoever did this should go through REAL channels instead of threats. That’s childish, stupid, and will get THEM in trouble. Do they really think there’s no security cameras on campus? Oh well, let them get arrested for vandalizing property… they are just going to make the damned thing more infamous.

      • Deven, anyone who vandalizes that statue will be hailed as an American hero in 49 states, and will probably raise more money for their legal defense than was raised for that bus monitor’s vacation/retirement last month.

  19. amusing in a pathetic way some penn st. fans seem to think we are somehow jealous of joe.
    i bet many are jealous they don’t have the opportunity to cover for a child rapist so they can continue to make millions of dollars and get undeserved accolades for being a great guy etc.
    his defenders would still defend him if joe himself did the raping. they would talk about all the good stuff he did etc. lame.

    MCPOOP 182

  21. Someone needs to drill a hole in the ass of the statue and insert a 13 inch steel dildo in there.

  22. satan666

    I got it. Put paterno’s finger up sandusky’s ass and then either resurrect the statue and have him slowly anally impaled by his own wait. Or throw them in car compactor. Either way I can only hope sandusky gets his in the shower in the ultimate form of irony.

  23. Kaka

    Hey he looks like a statue here..

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