Joe Paterno Is ‘Retiring’ Now

November 9th, 2011 // 85 Comments
Joe Paterno
Like He Had A Choice
Penn State Planned His Exit Read More »

“Had I known stopping a man from raping small boys would have affected me personally down the road, I probably would’ve done a little more,” is what’s about to be said here.

After early reports tipped Penn State’s hand and revealed they were planning to remove Joe Paterno over his piss-poor handling of former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky systematically sodomizing 10-year-old boys using the university’s facilities and a charity as a smokescreen, the once-legendary coach announced his retirement this morning because now’s the time to do the honorable thing not when kids were getting raped in the shower. “That’s prime hemming and hawing time,” Joe Paterno says. ESPN reports:

“I am absolutely devastated by the developments in this case. I grieve for the children and their families, and I pray for their comfort and relief,” Paterno said in a statement released just after initial reports confirming his pending retirement.
“I have come to work every day for the last 61 years with one clear goal in mind: To serve the best interests of this university and the young men who have been entrusted to my care. I have the same goal today.
“That’s why I have decided to announce my retirement effective at the end of this season. At this moment the Board of Trustees should not spend a single minute discussing my status. They have far more important matters to address. I want to make this as easy for them as I possibly can.
“This is a tragedy. It is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more. My goals now are to keep my commitments to my players and staff and finish the season with dignity and determination. And then I will spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to help this university.”

Let me be perfectly clear on this: Photo Boy is an exemplary employee, not to mention one of my closest, most trusted friends, but if I found out he was raping kids, I’d immediately be on the horn with the cops instead of simply telling a supervisor and ignoring handfuls of anecdotes involving child rape while I went back to focusing on my legacy. My incredible, incredible legacy. In fact, Photo Boy hasn’t even raped anybody, and I still called the cops on him this morning just in case. That’s how much I care about kids.

Photo: Getty


  1. Snack pack

    That putter-patter you hear are the few Paterno apologists who are on their way to let us know that we are unfairly disparaging the proud legacy of an old man who was too arrogant to know when to quit, nor when to kick a kiddie predator in the nuts then in the head.

    • Penn State sucks, the big 10 sucks, & this Crypt Keeper wannabe sucks. Who couldn’t get 400 wins after coaching 600 years? Legacy? legend? I think not. Boomer Sooner!

      • RJ

        Last I checked, Penn State was twice the academic university that Oklahoma was. 45th in the nation according to US World News. I think you retards were buried somewhere around 101st…

      • annon

        At least OU is not full of people who like to molest little boys. Unlike Pedo State University.

    • RJ

      Neither is Penn State. One person, not even a student, did it. Nice try though, I wouldn’t expect a high school drop out like you to comprehend a complex story, or even know the definition of the word “full” anyway.

  2. Mike

    This website has become so painfully judgmental, it’s like reading the inside of Michele Bachmann’s brain. Who else needs to be stoned, oh Fish? Your job used to be making fun of celebs, but now you have to wade through half a page of sinners being condemned to get to anything remotely funny. Hard to read, and then I remember, wait, I don’t have to.

    • it had to be said


    • Dan

      Someone is being too judgmental because he didn’t stop someone from raping kids?

      Alright then.

    • Leila

      Really, you think condeming child rape and those that allow it to continue is being “painfully judgmental”? Not the relentless picking apart of women’s breasts and asses and whatever, but this? I am a woman, and I read it all. Some of it is offensive and lame [and as an incredibly imperfect woman, really depresssing] but a lot of it is brilliant, hilarious and scathingly truthful. But the fact that THIS is where you draw the line–that messed up.

      • Management

        It’s all about them click dollas, son. We shit, you eat. You shit, we eat. Thanks for contributing to the cycle.

        ~ Management

    • Drew

      While I find reporting on an ancient, college level coach to be silly (mainly out of bias since I don’t pay attention to American “football”), were you seriously expecting something other than the writer being a judgmental prick about the people he writes about? I mean… have you seriously read anything posted on this site in the last several years? It’s fun and games to be judgmental of the Kardashians, or Paris Hilton… but god forbid he judges an accessory to child rape.

      Get a clue.

    • fuck off mike, if you don’t want to read this site- get the fuck out. we never wanted you here anyway.

    • pedobear

      You people are so mean! I don’t want to live in a world where people cruelly judge those of us who diddle children.

    • Mike Jackson? Is that you?

    • Pippy Longcockings

      Mike, this is site who’s sole purpose is to say mean, horrible things about people. That’s why it’s called a “gossip site”, just a quick FYI. Judgement is the main product here. Do try to keep up.

  3. I’ll bet you’d call your Dad first before you turned him in, Fish. It’s just human nature.

    • DeucePickle

      It’s human nature to call your dad whenever you catch a 60 year old man shower-raping 10 year old boys ? I think my instinct would be more to beat that old man’s ass til he couldn’t feel feelings any more.

    • LJ

      I would expect that if 28 year old man (yes the “graduate assistant” was 28 years old) saw a 60 year old man corn-holing a ten year old kid in the showers of the locker room, that 28 year old would at the least stand in the doorway and shout “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU” at the top of his lungs. The if he “Reported up the chain of command”, and never saw the cops take this asshole away. I would expect that he would pick up the phone and call the cops.

      • Liz

        That’s the bit I find puzzling. A normal person would be hard pressed to not beat the old man senseless. I imagine the cops would be bothered if the perve *didn’t* have a few bruises and broken bones as they hauled him away.

        There is something deeply wrong with all of this – including the abuse of course, and working down.

      • Hey Hick Fuck You!

        Not if said 28 year-old “graduate assistant” thought he could get a sweet new job out of it, which he did. I geuss child rape isn’t that big of a fucking deal if you can work yourself up the ladder by helping conceal it. Too bad there isn’t a hell, otherwise this shit bag would be lucifer’s geust of honor.

    • Oh, fuck hell. I say we make him pay for not reporting a child rape to the cops in this life.

      • Cock Dr

        He’s paying with interest now.
        Please continue the social shaming & shunning. Maybe the next coach that finds themselves in a similar situation will think about the goings on at Penn State and then report the childfucker to law enforcement.
        What I don’t understand is why people, when they actually SEE a child rape in progress, don’t go apeshit, wade in and start beating the fuck out of the rapist on the spot.

  4. Dan


    No one should be above the law – especially when the law that is being broken is the destruction of children’s lives.

  5. TheListener

    My understanding is that he told his superiors about the molestation allegations, and they decided to do nothing about it. So why is he being attacked when he did his job? He didn’t cover anything up. He did what he was required to do.

    • Listen up!

      yes… only what was required. What would you do?

      There was a little boy having his ass lubed with soap so a grown man could rape him… and people SAW this and didnt call the cops. All involved should be FIRED TODAY!!! Its bs to let him finish the season.

    • So you just want no one to say anything when your child is being raped in the shower? Got it. He should have called the cops. What is so hard about that. It is just football, and this coach will go down as a person who puts pedophiles above kids.

    • lily

      He had the POWER and moral obligation to do much more. he knew about the inappropriate conduct (that occurred dozens of times), and still allowed the pedophile to have access and even an office in the athletic building at penn state! (up until last week when he was indicted) Joepa runs (well now, ran) that university and had the ability to end this, but instead did the bare minumim. As a father and leader, his inaction is disturbing and disgusting, and he deserves everything he gets. I went to Penn State, and I would go spit in his doorstep if I was still there.

    • “My understanding is that he told his superiors about the molestation allegations, and they decided to do nothing about it. So why is he being attacked when he did his job?”

      Ok, you see a house on fire. You run home and tell Mom & Dad, and they hear you out, say they’ll take care of it, then they go back to drinking martinis in front of the TV. At what point do you get a fucking clue and call 911 yourself?

      Informing a “superior” or “an authority” who does nothing NEVER gets you off the hook in a case like this – unless you’re one of those people who really yearns for the comfort of Germany in the 1930′s.

      • TheListener

        Listen up!, sweetpea, lily, justifiable, and Chupacara. I understand your anger, disgust, and outrage at this entire situation. My point was that everyone seems to be directing their anger toward ONE man who did what he felt at THAT time was enough. I’m sure he’s regretting he didn’t do more.
        But shouldn’t everyone’s outrage be directed toward the accused molester, and not one man who simply didn’t follow through on an allegation reported to him?

    • Chupacabra

      Minimal requirement for turning in a report of the RAPE of a child. Minimal requirement – I told my boss. Nothing happened. Oh well, moving on…

      Wow. There are no words for how sick this shit is…

    • TheListener

      Legal obligations and moral obligations differ in one critical way. Legal obligations are based on facts of the law. Moral obligations are subjective to the opinions of society. The simple truth is this. He met his legal requirement by informing his superior of the allegations. That fact is not in debate.
      Whether he should have followed up on the allegations is a matter of opinion, not fact.
      And hindsight is 20/20 vision. It’s easy for us and him as well to look at his past actions and say he didn’t do enough. Apparently, at THAT time he felt he had done enough.

      • First, Curley and Schultz have been charged with perjury, Sandusky is under arrest. Spanier may be charged. If the Fish wants to post about them, I’ll excoriate them as well, so stop posturing as if Paterno’s being nailed to a pigskin cross and the rest of them are off cruising in the Caribbean while he takes the fall for them.

        Second, if you want to talk “legal obligations” McQueary’s father’s a doctor, so he was LEGALLY OBLIGATED to report his son’s eyewitness report of child molestation to the police or a “person in charge” under the PA Child Protective Services Law. He and his son reported it to Paterno – scarely an acceptable legal substitute since Paterrno was not McQueary’s father’s supervisor. So I’m all for Daddy Doctor being included in this roundup.

        Third, if you want to start splitting legal hairs, it can be read that Paterno DID violate PA’s Child Protective Services Law – and that “fact” IS up for debate. The law is always changing in its interpretation – so to quote “fact” here is bullshit. As a teacher/ administrator he had a legal obligation to immediately report suspected child abuse to child protective services or law enforcement, or to a “person in charge” (i.e. supervisor), who must then report the alleged abuse to the authorities.

        The reporting must be honest and if written, must include known information about the nature and extent of the suspected abuse, along with other material details. And because he was McQueary’s *supervisor*, Paterno was the de facto “person in charge” – therefore HE was obligated to report the abuse to the police, not HIS higher-ups.

        Fourth, if that interpretation isn’t to your liking, Paterno DID break the law because he didn’t give an accurate report of the abuse to Tim Curley. McQueary testified to the GJ that he told Paterno he witnessed Sandusky raping a boy. When Paterno reported McQueary’s account of the crime to Curley, he characterized what McQueary saw as Sandusky “doing something of a sexual nature” to the boy. If Paterno softpedalled the report to Curley then he deliberately concealed the severity of the evidence, and by failing to provide known information about the nature and extent of the suspected abuse. That, in turn, delayed the onset of a criminal investigation. And that, my friend, is obstruction of justice.

        At present Paterno’s regarded as a witness, and he’ll catch a break because if the statute of limitations for a lot more, but he could be facing perjury and obstruction charges, in addition to civil damages.

        As for your “20/20 hindsight”, if you think saying, “Well, I did my best…hey, is that Sundusky in the shower again? How’s that ongoing charity work?” covers things “legally”, I sincerely fucking hope no members of your family ever have to depend on you to “do the right thing” for them – beyond the bare legal minimum, of course.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      That’s not good enough, and you should KNOW that, “Listener”. I really hope you are never in a position where you should help someone in need, because they will be sorely let down.

  6. Eric

    What about the guy who actually saw the rape, is he held accountable? Or was it a little kid? Paterno told his superiors that he was told of this, should have gone to the cops, but so should have the guy who actually witnessed it

    • The “guy who actually saw the rape” was (then) 28 yo graduate assistant Mike McQuery, who’s been described by his former coach as a “classy person”.

      He DIDN’T STOP IT, but turned around and ran home to ask his daddy what to do. Dad McQuery, who’s a doctor, and *actually has an obligation to report sexual abuse if he’s been notified or has a suspicion it’s going on* passed the buck back to his kid and told him to report it to Paterno . MD dad sounds “classy”, too!

      According to the Grand Jury testimony, they both went to Paterno to report it the next day.

      That was back in 2002. Paterno still claims Sandusky told him none of the “graphic details” that he told the Grand Jury. Because, after all, if you hear about an eyewitness account of an anal rape of a minor, you need to have graphic details before you can really gauge how serious it is.

      • Sorry – typo, That’s “McQeary”. He isn’t being “held accountable” in that he hasn’t been formally charged with anything yet, but he’s been criticized by the PA Police Commissioner:

        “I don’t think I’ve ever been associated with a case with this type of eyewitness identification of sex acts taking place where the police weren’t called.” – Frank Noonan

      • Sorry, double typo, McQueary. I think because I’ve been spelling his name as “Fuckingselloutkiddierapistassitantwhodideverythingbutholdthelube” I just can’t spell it correctly any more.

  7. Abby Normal

    He has to retire but hundreds of Catholic officials who provided cover for pedophile priests keep their jobs. That’s fair. Sorry Joe, you should have linked your circumstances to some ridiculous institutionalized superstition. You’ll know better next time.

  8. Fester

    Give Hans Moleman a break! I doubt if he can see past the end of his nose… Wait, maybe I should use a different point of reference.

  9. I just can't stop Roughing you (Michael Jackson)

    Former? I thought his defensive coordinator would be next in line for the job.

  10. ComedySilliness

    Tim Minchin had it right. Pope or Paterno. Principle is the same

  11. whiskeyafternoon

    Dude, Fish, we get it. we all hope Dante’s ice beast in the cave nibbles on his man bits in some paltry recompense. move on.

  12. Cock Dr

    It reads as if Photo Boy is employed in a hostile work enviroment.
    I suggest he get legal advice.

  13. Venom

    About time this asshole retired.
    86 fucking years old and still coaching. Get the fuck out and let someone else have a job. I can’t stand people like him and Larry King and Regis, greedy old fucks. Rich as hell but still can’t walk away. How much goddamn money do they need?

    • Burt Reynolds

      As long as someone pays them, they can work as long as they’d like. You’re welcome to make as much money as you can and you certainly don’t have to feel guilty about it (regardless of what the media would have you believe).

      And your assumption that he’s retiring because he’s old and not because he didn’t do a little more to prevent kids from getting ass-raped is extremely off base. He made a horrendous decision to not escalate the issue and he is definitely old enough to know better. And just like that, his legacy is shit.

      • Venom

        Obviously he is retiring because of this shit, duh.
        My point is his ass should have retired decades ago and he is a greedy old fuck.

  14. Lemmiwinks

    Is it safe to assume The Superficial would have passed on this story if not for the fact that Joe Paterno is SO goddamned sexy?

  15. Richard McBeef

    Let’s get real here. If any raping is going on at Superficial corporate headquarters, Photo Boy is probably the victim. And no, that mesh shirt and hot pants doesn’t mean he was “asking for it.”

  16. Liz

    I hope everyone involved gets prison time, and never get to have normal lives if they’re ever released.

  17. John Key

    You grieve? You grieve because you got caught you child-raper/child-rapist-sweeper-under-the-rugg-er. Don’t worry there’s still room for you to get a job in the church where you’ll fit right in.

  18. “I have come to work every day for the last 61 years with one clear goal in mind: To serve the best interests of this university and the young men who have been entrusted to my care. I have the same goal today.”

    Translation: “I’d do anything to spare the University and football program from embarrassment, even look the other way when little boys were being raped. And I’d do it again, bitches.”

  19. Maggs, California

    Penn State football coach Joe Paterno is going to retire at the end of the season. I think he should quit now or be fired now. I don’t think you owe him anything. Yes he has been a coach at Penn State forever, but this is a man who could have stopped almost 15 years of boys being molested and did nothing.

    There are at least three villians here per the Grand Jury’s findings:

    Sandusky, the child rapist

    “The Janitor,” who witnessed Sandusky giving an 8-year-old a blow job and DID NOTHING.

    Mike McQueary, the then 28-year-old former QB who walked in on Sandusky anally raping a 10-year-old and WALKED AWAY rather than stopping him and chose on the advice of his father, a DOCTOR, to simply report it to Paterno.

    That McQueary and “The Janitor” are still employed is beyond me.

  20. Maggs, California

    The AP is reporting now that Joe Paterno will announce later today that he has decided to retire at the end of the season, and HOLY FUCK you have got to be kidding me. They’re gonna let him coach the rest of the season? He shielded a guy who was raping kids! Here’s a quote from Sports Illustrated…

    Pennsylvania Attorney General Linda Kelly said on Monday that the inaction of Penn State… “likely allowed a child predator to continue to victimize children for many, many years.”

    And clearly Penn State still doesn’t give a fuck. Paterno knew as much as anyone, in fact he knew more. Mike McQueary is the GA who says he witnessed Jerry Sandusky raping a 10-year-old boy in the shower, and obviously Paterno and the AD believe him because McQueary got promoted to wide receivers coach after the incident and he’s been there ever since. He accused a coach who had been there for 30 years of molesting kids and Paterno didn’t tell him to fuck off so obviously he believed him. And he did nothing. And now, at least on the surface, he gets to retire on his own terms. This is stunning. They should fire his ass immediately and shoot him off campus in a catapult.

  21. Ugh

    This is the Right Thing™, but to be fair, he didn’t witness this and the actual witness didn’t go to the police, either. Joe had 2nd hand information that he then went to the administration with. I honestly don’t know what i would do if a student came to me and said that a coach/coworker/friend was *raping a boy in the shower.* Would I even believe it? It’s one of those things that, from the inside, I might think was BS or at least doubt highly because it just didn’t fit (yes, I explored the possibility of a contextual pun, but my options made me feel dirty).

    I don’t think he was right, but I understand why he would be wrong without having to consider him a monster.

    • Ugh

      Just read Maggs’ comment… I retract this. I was obviously missing some of the steps in the development of this story.

      • Good. Paterno’s now hiding behind the fact that McQueary didn’t tell him the “graphic details” of the rape he witnessed.

        Which totes excuses him from doing anything for the past 9 years, amirite?

      • Ugh

        Oh, totally, Justifiable– “I thought he was barely raping him at all! Only now do I understand that he was REALLY raping him! That’s where I draw the line.”

  22. And yet, the one who witnessed it and told Paterno isn’t being convicted/fired/having his head on a pike. Why didn’t McQueary go to the cops? Why Paterno? I WITNESS a 10 year old kid being raped, I stop it (seriously, I’d probably have beat the man) and then I call the cops. Simple. You don’t wait a week and go to the head coach. When Joe reported it to Curley, it was the first time they tried to force Paterno out of his coaching position. Also, Curley would’ve been the one to give McQueary the promotion, not Joe. Curley was the Athletic Director, and Joe’s superior.

    I don’t care what Maggs says.

    • Curley and university VP Schultz turned themselves in on Monday – they’ve been charged with perjury and failure to report the incident. They told the grand jury that they were informed of “inappropriate behavior” on Sandusky’s part in 2002.

      Why Paterno? Why the fuck NOT Paterno? The whole fucking “chain of command” all the way to Graham Spanier should be fried and then fired, and that includes that fucking sellout Mike McQueary.

  23. Donald Trump

    This man is an absolute piece of shit.

  24. anonymous

    When I was 18 or 19, I was on the subway in NYC at rush hour when a guy standing in the aisle started swearing at a woman sitting near me. Other commuters looked but no one did anything. The guy looked to me like someone who could get violent if confronted, and who could very well be carrying a knife, but because of how my dad raised me, I stood up and confronted him. To my surprise and relief, he backed down and exited the car at the next stop (maybe it was his stop).

    According to the “Penn State Scandal Timeline,” posted elsewhere on the web, several different people at several different times saw Sandusky molesting boys. They told other people about it (a graduate assistant told his father, two janitors told their co-workers and one also told a supervisor), but no one confronted Sandusky on the spot and no one went straight to the police. I don’t understand this.

  25. Patrick OMalley

    Paterno wants to retire at the end of the year, and he probably has enough power to make that happen.

    Meanwhile, a 10 year old boy that was being anally raped in the shower wanted

    - someone to stop it
    - someone to save him
    - a hero to go after the monster the day after it happened
    - someone to do something in the following 9 years

    but he didn’t have enough power to make that happen.

    • Chupacabra

      true, true.
      What about the goddamned boys charity this rapist was in charge of? How many boys gots raped there? This shit is going to blow up and not be good… not good at all….

  26. Yeah rapists have friends. So do wife beaters. I’ve even heard them excuse it as “well they’ve always been a top friend to me”.

  27. Maggs, California

    Those students who are supporting Paterno need to read this article by Maureen Dowd. At first I wasn’t sure how involved Paterno was in the scandal but after reading this article there is no doubt that he tried to hide the abuse. Sandusky was banned from abusing the kids ON CAMPUS but was never reported to the police. The football program was more important than some bad publicity so they decided to let the abuse continue.

    How anyone could support this university after this is unbelievab­le, yet they will, as have Catholics who continue to attend Mass and contribute to the church knowing they protected pedophiles­.


    • “Sandusky was banned from abusing the kids ON CAMPUS but was never reported to the police.”

      Well, to be perfectly fair, Paterno DID say that his goal was “to serve the best interests of this university and the young men who have been entrusted to my care.”

      As for any one else’s kids goes, who gives a ripe fuck?

    • RJ

      Because its not what the university stands for at all. It was a few people. And yes, a handful of students are supporting Paterno blindly. You can bet that a majority of the rest of the community doesn’t share the same views.

      • You can’t say it was a “few people” that don’t represent the University when those “few people” are the University president, vice president, coaching staff, and – unless they’re incredibly dumber than they look – legal counsel for the University.

        When people that high up not only know about systematic child abuse, but let the molester continue to have access to children, then it’s like a dead fish – it stinks from the head down.

        “Penn State”? My ass – more like they should be in state pen.

      • RJ

        Right…so every student, past and present, and teacher at Penn State is a child molester.

        So I guess that means any controversy the US government covers up, that makes you and I, and everyone else just as guilty, right?

        I’d love for you to explain your logic here…

    • I said nothing of the kind, so you can drop your reductio ad absurdum conclusion right now. Then examine the Nixon era and check out what that sort of “cancer growing on the presidency” does; not only to the reputation of those involved in such massive corruption and coverup, but to the public tarnishing of the office itself, and finally, the resulting loss of faith in the government and its workings.

      When a huge chunk of the governing body of the University is complicit in allowing this to go on for NINE YEARS, you can’t dismissively say it’s “a few people”, as if they have no influence or impact on how the whole goddamn institiution is run. Because I can guarandamntee you that if they winked at this because “it’s football”, they did similar things in the intervening decade. That’s the really fun thing about greed and corruption, it erodes your remaining ethical sense like a motherfucker.

      I’m sure the community IS outraged, they have every right to be.

  28. J

    Excellent article.

    Personally, I find it stomach-turning, disgusting, appalling, and whatever other adjectives you can come up with, that there are people actually arguing he should be allowed to “Retire on his own terms” because of his “proud legacy.” Fuck that. He enabled a child molester, possibly actively, certainly passively. His legacy is shit. If he’s allowed to retire “on his own terms,” I hope the legal hammer gets dropped on Penn St. Though, I suspect that’s deservedly coming no matter what at this point.

  29. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    I always wondered what the hell a nittany Lion was. Now I know, old women who chase young boys are cougars and all you old pedos are Nittany Lions !!!!

  30. Captain Bligh

    “Capt. Henry Allen of the sloop Rattler was executed for sodomy in 1797, and Lieutenant William Berry was hanged in 1807 for buggering a boy.” – quote from “Buggery and the British Navy” by Cecil Adams in the Washington City Paper, 9/5/2008

  31. They just canned his ass before he could retire. Good.

  32. Venom

    He could have retired with some dignity but he just would not go so they kicked him out on his ass in disgrace.

Leave A Comment