Joe Paterno Fired For Real This Time,
A.K.A. ‘Scapegoated’ In Moron Talk

November 10th, 2011 // 200 Comments
Joe Paterno
Mike McQueary
Somehow Still Has A Job Read More »

“You saw 10-year-olds raped in the shower? — Ah, well. So, listen, on this next play…”

While Photo Boy stuffs the site full of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show pics, let’s take a minute to check in on ol’ Joe Paterno who announced his retirement yesterday and planned to finish the rest of the season except Penn State’s board of trustees had other plans and fired him effective immediately along with Penn State president Graham Spanier at 10 p.m. last night. And because we live in the greatest country on earth where football is basically religion now, a riot broke out in downtown State College by a bunch of jackasses who think sports are more important than making a growing list of child rapist enablers pay for being.. well, child rapist enablers. Except that dumb wasn’t contained to just Happy Valley, and if you’re like me you were slapped in the face on Facebook or Twitter with football worshipers acting like Joe Paterno was innocently nailed to a cross like Christ himself. So let’s address some of the more prevalent horseshit lines coming out of this thing, and keep in mind these are actual defenses I’ve heard from friends:

“Joe Paterno is a scapegoat!”
Yes, because clearly Joe Paterno is the only person suffering any consequences for this whole debacle, and he’s not one of at least five people as of this post either fired and/or arrested. That was just a mirage.

“If you’re yelling more loudly for Joe Paterno to be fired than for Jerry Sandusky to be strung up by his balls, you’re an idiot.”
This one boggles the mind and I saw this one repeatedly. Apparently if you support Joe Paterno being fired for letting this happen in his house, you’re sitting back going, “Now that Sandusky fellow, he’s alright…” Incredible logic.

“Why is no one calling for Mike McQueary to be fired?!”
You have to admire the simpletons that try to turn this into an either/or situation thanks to a brain mushified from watching men in tights move a ball down a field four hours on end. You can want Paterno fired AND McQueary fired at the same time. (I just blew your mind, I know.) They should both go down, especially McQueary who apparently sees kids being raped and doesn’t go, “Hey, stop raping that kid.” How do you even justify that? “Well, your honor, the old guy might accidentally bump into my pants with his naked erection. My hands were tied.”

“We just sacrificed an old man for a witch hunt. That’s what our society has come to.”
If holding every complicit motherfucker who let kids get raped to protect the reputation of a goddamn sports team accountable is a witch hunt, give me a Pilgrim hat and call me Miles Standish.

“But Joe Paterno’s legacy! Sixty years of coaching and this is going to be how he’s remembered?”
Kids. Got. Raped. Apparently that’s not as important as making sure a guy who devoted decades to a meaningless game is remembered as a dear, sweet grandfather type and not as an egomaniacal, good old boy who decided to quietly treat child rape like people in the 1950s treated spousal abuse to protect his “legacy.” Seriously, just fuck your hero worship. Right in the butt.

“I feel bad for Joe PA. Oh, and it’s a shame about the kids.”
Look back through your Facebook and/or Twitter feed and notice how many times you see that statement with the part about the kids added as an afterthought. “No, not the football coach! — Oh, right, those kids. I guess they kind of got it bad, too.” Priorities, America haz them.

I could go on and on with this, but bottom line, Joe Paterno was one of many, many people who covered up child rape to protect a fucking sports team and, surprise, he made himself the face of Penn State football, so of course he’s going to be the biggest target. That’s the price of a “legacy.” And if you’re looking at this situation going, “But he won so many games!” you’re part of the problem, I hope a professional athlete rapes your kid so I can go, “But look at those Super Bowl rings!” And I’m serious, you better tell me if it happens.

Photo: Getty


  1. diploma mills

    this what happens when everyone who can afford college or can borrow enough money gets into college

    • blah

      Do you really believe that or are you just trying to sound ignorant? You definitely succeeded at the latter…

  2. Jimmy

    Paterno was a living god on that campus for decades and he’s going to cop the “I tried to intervene but got the runaround from higher up” thing? Bullshit. If “JoePa” wanted something to happen it damn well would have happened. He didn’t want Sandusky to be investigated seriously because he knew the attention and bad press that would have brought would have disrupted his precious football team’s efforts to win trophies (and bring in millions of dollars) for PSU. Forget about something as stupid as “legacy”. That doddering old fool is lucky if he comes away from this without charges against him.

  3. Doctor Joystick

    Dear Nittany Lyin’ Fans,

    Your vaunted hero has fallen in one of the saddest flame-outs in the history of anything. In their quest to secure his place in history as the winningest coach in college history, the coaches and administrators blatantly ignored and concealed the molestation of young boys on your campus. If the powers at Penn State were willing to turn a blind eye to these incidents because it would have endangered your football program, what other infractions have taken place at this institution? I have to wonder how many former players are going to come forward and say they received money or gifts, how many will admit to performance enhancing drug abuse sponsored by the coaching staff, how many will admit to academic fraud? Your football program is tainted and you should be disgusted that a select few have tarnished the image of your entire university. All because they were good at showing young athletes how to properly play with an inflatable leather ball and that has seemed to take precedence above all else in Happy Valley. The board of trustees did the right thing tonight, the students rallying around this sad little dictator did not.

    “Evil flourishes when good men do nothing.” – Edmund Burke. No truer quote suits this situation.


    Your Conscience

  4. kimmykimkim

    I hate football. Mostly because I live in Texas where its always been a religion and is played by good old “Christian”, racist, homophobic, ignorant jocks who really, really like to wrestle (I think I just described football in general.) I also hate baby rapers. They should all be lined up, fucked up the ass with a dry wooden baseball bat and then shot execution style. They’re the sickest pieces of excrement to ever fall from the asshole of Satan.

  5. poop

    fish does it again, this site actually gets journalistic sometimes.

    the fact that he takes the time to make this public on his major site…. it really makes a dent. i admire, fish. he’s spot on.

    football breeds the same abuses say a catholic church could. institution of football.

  6. Lil old moi

    love this, but any chance you could take out those last 2 sentences?

  7. You absolutely nailed it!! I was choking on own my rage so much whilst reading these bullshit excuses people are writing on the net that reading this actually put into words what I was feeling-I cannot believe those stupid stupid students are rioting over a GAME!!! makes me sick!!! These people need to get their priorities straight!!!

  8. Dingle

    What did Joe do or not do? We have media reports (who want to sell newspapers) and that is about it. Nice to see lynching without a trial is still alive and well in Penn.
    The one investigation that was done in-depth found no fault with Joe. A cop (whatever his rank) condemned Joe publicly, also without investigation.
    Let’s all rush to judgement, after all this just happened, oh wait, these are from 5 to 20 years ago?

  9. Let’s be clear on this…the Penn State students are rioting in FAVOR of child rape.

    Is this part of the “99%” platform, or is it just a coincidence that it’s the same people protesting?

  10. Maggs, California

    Ashton is a lowlife moral free scumbag. Who would follow this loser on Twitter? Why would you give a frick what he had to say? I heard this on the radio this morning that more stuff is going to come out and it is REALLY SHOCKING. That is kind of scary as it already is. The OMG and WOW for me was when they said that a District Attorney that was investigating Sandusky DISAPPEARRED and no body was ever recovered. They found his lap top in a river with the hard drive removed from it. So it looks like some Penn State Fan hitman killed a DA to protect this lowlife? OMG!!!!! Would that have not been a clue that something is terribly wrong here?

  11. Maggs, California

    Is this true?? I just read this on another blog:

    Guess who’ll be coaching this Saturday? Mike McQueary: the guy who WITNESSED the actual rape, and reported it to Jo Pa… and that’s it. He shut up afterwards and never reported it to the police.

    He never reported that with his own eyes, he witnessed a child being raped.

    I give up. Dumbassness continues to surprise me.

  12. Shane

    Seach TheSuperficial for Jerry Sandusky and see 3 posts with Pictures of Joe Paterno and Titles starting with “Joe Paterno…” This is why there is outrage/complaining. Sandusky is the bad guy, not Joe

    • Sandusky’s already been charged, he’s out on bail. Sorry you completely missed the fact that the people who claim they did the bare legal minimum, that then ignored the fact that nothing whatsoever was actually done to stop Sandusky, are using that to excuse their enabling actions – and people are find that excuse inexcusable. Paterno could still be looking at perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Still think everyone’s got their priorities wrong?

      Nice try at misdirection, though. Now go back to the top, and read the second “moron” excuse that Fish posted, Pat yourself on the back for your followthough, moron.

  13. catapostrophe

    Dunno whether posting links is kosher, but this is similarly spot-on:,26609/

  14. So, did the Penn State fans coming here to defend child rape even read the “Moronic defenses” section? Because they’re all using them.

  15. I agree with the others that this was the best post I’ve read about this entire debacle. Well done.

  16. Postertape

    God, this is fantastic. I love football, but never in a million years is it worth the kiddie-rape…what does someone involved in athletics have to do to be vilified?!

  17. Johnny P!

    Just saw a video of Joe addressing his students/fans with his arm around his wife’s shoulder. As they called out “We love you Joe!!” and “Thanks for everything Joe!” he made his announcement about being fired, then with his arm still around his wife’s shoulders, headed inside.
    BUT, at the last moment, he stopped and turned back to the mics and added, as an afterthought, “One thing: Thanks, and pray a little for those victims.”
    Just an afterthought, y’know?

    • 1. He’s 84 years old and is stuck in the middle of this ridiculous media shit-storm.

      2. He was most likely asked by the multiple reporters about his being fired. HE ANSWERED A QUESTION! HOLY SHIT-STICKS!!!!

      3. They fired him over the phone. Any person who has been at there job and who has done a great one at that for over 50 years deserves to be told in person. That was his life.

      • The kid who was cornholed in the shower had a life, too; how great do you think his has been since 2002?

        This “great” old man traded his legacy for a mess of pottage, all on his own, by turning a blind eye to one of the most reprehensible things people can do to children, short of murdering them. It’s so bad that even hardened criminals consider a molester to be the lowest scum there is. He allowed it to go unpunished, and the perpetrator to stay attached to the university, all the while excusing it by saying, “I told my boss” and “McQueary didn’t give me the graphic details” AND YOU’RE BLEATING ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS FIRED OVER THE FUCKING PHONE?

        I honestly thought you were a troll because nah, no one’s that much of a dicksmack fuckwit moron who can use a keyboard. Disheartening to find that’s not true.

  18. carmen

    When I look at those rioters all I see is Stockholm syndrome.

  19. Buddy

    I hope the next time one of you passes a homeless man, you give him some change. Otherwise you are all fucking hypocrites. They may not be abused little boys, but they are people in need that you ignore day in and day out.

    • Johnny P!

      Written from a library with free wi-fi as you’re jonesing for a coffee and a cigarette?
      Hope you don’t get bedbugs at the shelter tonight, dude!
      Now, what does this have to do with the story about a coach not reporting child-rape to the cops again?
      You lost me…

      • Schmidtler

        his point seems to be that since everyone here is railing in paterno for not doing more to help victims of child rape, then shame on you if you’re not doing what you can do to help. McQueary is a bad guy because he was a witness to a bad thing happening & did nothing to stop it – you are a bad guy if you are a witness to human suffering and do nothing to stop it. man up or shut up.

      • I commented earlier on something you wrote. I fear that you are making wild assumptions again, and that you have no concept of relating one social issue to another. This saddens me. You are awarded no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


      It seems like I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand what the hell is going on with this media frenzy.

      • AND apparently I’m an idiot. The first response was for Johnny P!. Thank you for proving my point that most people are morons and believe everything they’re told AND for thinking about free Wi-Fi in a negative fashion.

        2nd one was in agreement with Buddy.

        3rd one is because I’m American, so I’m ignorant to things like reply buttons and common sense.

  20. Maggs, California

    the sandusky’s have 6 adopted children.

    When I read that it gave me the shivers.

  21. katy

    Amen, Superficial guy, for calling it like it is. They were protecting their stupid football team and ALL of them dropped the ball on this one and SHOULD be punished. Who out there was protecting these poor kids???!! I hope all of them rot in jail and hopefully, they will put that monster in with the general population. Only then will true justice be served.

  22. Expert on Everything

    He doesn’t deserve a legacy because he didn’t do rule #1 of having a legacy or being in charge. Know that everything under you will reflect well or badly right back on you! He should have wanted complete awesomeness -even the hard parts! But he was satisfied w/just the winning side. Not the actual character building that as parents we even LET our kids on a field for. Believe me, I’d much rather have my child learn dedication & team work on a chess board, but not happening. What about that Joe Fucking Ass Hole? I HATE YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE OPERATION!! PENN STATE COULDN’T FIRE ENOUGH ASS HOLES TO GET BACK EVEN 0.000000000000001% OF THEIR REPUTATIONS!! Did I mention FUCK OFF PENN STATE?!!!

  23. Tip that van!

    Just let the old man get fired, use stupid mob mentality to turn it into he’s a victim too, and spin it into a sweet endorsement deal with NAMBLA. This is America, damn it!

  24. anni

    After that post, I want to hero-worship YOU, Fish.

  25. Venom

    The more and more I read about this case I am not sure that Joe Paterno should not be brought up on criminal charges himself.

    They should not be playing this game on Saturday.

  26. Emz

    With respects to those poor kids, remember, there but by the grace of god go I. For those of us lucky enough to have grown up, and not have had this kind of evil inflicted on us, we had adults in our lives who did everything in their power to protect us. The kids who’ve suffered at the hands of this monster didn’t have adults in positions of power looking out for them – Joe Paterno knew, and should have done everything within his power to protect those kids. The fact that he didn’t also makes him a monster.
    I don’t know how it works in the States, but here in Australia we have a concept called ‘the duty of care’ – which works like it sounds. If you are in a position of power, then you have a legal obligation to the people under you to watch out for their wellbeing. This could be in a work environment, for example, (so an employer has a duty of care towards an employee to ensure that the workplace is safe) or in an environment with kids. Similarly, we have a concept called ‘mandatory reporting’ meaning that anyone working closely with children is a mandatory reporter – if they think the child is suffering from abuse, they are under a legal obligation to report it. If they fail to do so, they face criminal sanctions.
    I’m not trying to make out that either of these legal safeguards would have saved these poor children – but perhaps they would have forced the hand of the coaching staff, and broken the cycle of perpetual abuse being perpetrated back in 2002 when allegations first came to light. Even without these legal safeguards I simply cannot fathom how someone effectively turns a blind eye to this kind of horrific abuse.
    My heart goes out to the victims.

  27. hot*mess

    I want to have your babies.

  28. Erin

    Two unanswered comments that need to be answered. First, E, up at the top- don’t judge the university by the actions of a few? Dude, did you SEE how many Penn students were out rioting yesterday? Clearly more than a “few” Penn people are assholes.

    Second, in the middle, Random- do you seriously think Paterno didn’t know until 2002? His future replacement suddenly mysteriously retires at what should be the apex of his career after a police investigation into the first accusations of ’98, and you think JoePa didn’t KNOW? Denial is not just a river in Egypt, dumbass.

    Fish, you rock.

  29. I don’t give a shit about college football. What happened was horrible.


    There are an incredible amount of factors that the media is overlooking, along with the rest of the mob (this means all of you.) Please pay attention.

    1st, Joe Paterno DID NOT WITNESS what happened, therefore, it would have been considered hearsay. Also, without proof, he could have been sued for defamation of character. These are reasons why he couldn’t talk to the police if he wanted to. It would have went nowhere.

    2nd, He didn’t cover anything up. He told the people who are supposed to take care of shit, and they didn’t take care of shit. These are his superiors. In businesses all across the globe and yes, even here in good ol’ PA, there is a chain of command, and bosses, and lawyers, and a mountain of red tape to go through to get these things taken care of. On top of that, the investigation took THREE YEARS to provide enough evidence and testimony to even arrest Sandusky. Three years of people who understand legal mumbo-jumbo clawing and digging for shreds of anything that would stick in court. Joe is not a lawyer, he coaches football and helps fund the building of libraries, not stadiums.

    3rd, Because of his incredibly positive effect he has had on PSU and the academics at this school consistently for over half of a century, it is very easy to target him and immediately ruin his stellar reputation.

    4th, I don’t think Joe Paterno gives a shit about his legacy as much as everyone else does.

    5th, WHY DON’T WE FOCUS ON THE FUCKER THAT STARTED THIS? Am I the only one that noticed that it’s taken a backseat to the Paterno thing? DEAL WITH THE REAL ISSUE AT HAND (THE RAPING OF YOUNG BOYS……remember, that’s why we’re all here, folks….) and then later on, deal with everything else after all of the evidence is presented. That’s how shit works. Oh, and the DA who worked on this back in 1998 when Sandusky was first accused didn’t have enough evidence to charge him for the crime. The incident in question was in 2002 which means other people who take care of these things new way before Joe did.

    6th, Why does the 28yr old (at the time) man who sees what’s going on not kick the shit out of Sandusky AND still gets to keep his J.O.B.? He was the actual witness. Why isn’t this part of the story bigger news?

    I am disappointed in the way that such a highly regarded institution such as PSU has just thrown all common sense out of the window. The board of trustees are just running around like they were literally on fire. Take a step back, collect your fucking backbone, and start figuring shit out in a responsible manner.

    The media, including this site, has taken this part of the story to a grotesque level. What happened to those children is unforgivable and if it were my child, Sandusky would have been murdered years ago. But, the fact of the matter is that this is not a “what if” scenario. A sick man tricked some young, troubled youth into having pedophiliac sex with him, was caught, reported, and will have his day in court. Let’s not pollute this anymore than it already has been.

  30. mfb

    the price you pay for legacy? what a crock of shit comment

  31. Jon and Kate plus Hate

    I am sorry if I offend you Penn State morons but anyone, and I am looking at you… and you….who defends Joe Pa or Penn State in any way is a freaking pedo or pedo wannabe. Nittany Lion=Pervy old Pedo. Are you a Pedo? You Are PENN STATE !!!!

  32. lucy s

    While your points are valid, I think that there are parts to this story that you (and the public) haven’t been privy to. You could have mentioned the part about the D.A. who was supposed to prosecute this case in 1998 (and didn’t because there wasn’t sufficient evidence) went missing in 2005 after saying he was going to take a drive. And isn’t Penn State itself going to be held accountable for the cover up as well?

  33. goodoldboybs

    I agree with all of it, good old boy b.s. at it’s finest.

  34. Anthony

    Typical pompous journalist. U claim he knew about what was going on yet offer very little evidence. Maybe he’s guilty but I dont know AND NEITHER DO U.
    Journalist always try to cut down public figures because they believe people should only idolize the media.
    U claim he should be held accountable, well riddle me this…How many journalist were fired after the Duke false rape scandal?? What journalist were held accountable? Ditto for the Hofstra rape fraud.
    U journalist want to held everyone accountable EXCEPT YOURSELVES!

  35. Sliver

    Fish, I just want to say, “Thank you!!!”
    This post made me truly proud of you today. And I am glad you are not ignoring what is happening in this situation just because of people saying this is just a “gossip site”. I think it needed to be addressed. Love ya. Keep up the good work. You’re part of the solution. :)

  36. mike

    what is sanduskys favorite guitar chord?


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