Joe Manganiello Is Not Banging Demi Moore

June 22nd, 2012 // 17 Comments
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Apparently there’s been a rumor going around that Joe Manganiello‘s been hooking up with Demi Moore which he really wants people to know is not happening. Because, seriously, who does that? Not counting douches in trucker hats. Those aren’t people. Via E! News:

“There is 100 percent zero truth to that,” Manganiello told Ryan Seacrest this morning during his 102.7 KIIS FM radio show. “I met her once at a premiere and I maybe talked to her for three minutes.”

Manganiello may not be romancing Moore, but it’s not like they don’t have anything in common.
“She was in Striptease, so I was like, ‘Hey, you played a stripper! I’m playing a stripper,’” he told Seacrest, adding, “and we kind of had a three-minute conversation about exchanging stripping notes, and that was it.”

“Okay, maybe I did try to have sex with her, but then this yellow flash just sort of flew right between us, and the next thing I know she’s literally birthing twins right in front of me. Now, normally, that’s not a dealbreaker, but these things were practically toddlers, and it was the tenth time that happened to me that night. So I threw in the towel and got a hooker. Ya gotta know when to fold ‘em, Ryan.”

I completely forgot I granted him this power, but let’s not kid ourselves: Alexander Skarsgard‘s out there penetrating women in bullet time. There’s no competition. It’s like trying to race Superman except you’re on a tricycle and he’s breaking the goddamn sound barrier redefining the very definition of rape as we know it.

Adding… Do I hate myself that this is a ham-fisted True Blood reference? Yes. Yes, I do.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. “100 percent zero truth”?!?

    Fucking moron.

  2. JC

    Thank goodness. If this dude were reduced to settling for skeletor pussy that reeks of whippets, then the rest of the male species might as well start banging hedgehogs.

  3. WhiteChick

    Who cares if he’s stupid, look at that body!! OMG!!!!!! I want to be Sookie now.

  4. Cock Dr

    Not my prefered style of himbo, but the body is very impressive.
    Yowza.

  5. Laura

    I’d fuck him

  6. MyRightOne

    “…but then this yellow flash just sort of flew right between us, and the next thing I know she’s literally birthing twins right in front of me.” Aaaaahahaha!!! Niiiice.

    Faster than a speeding sperm in a fallopian tube, able to leap tall blondes in a single bound, impregnating vaginas everywhere with a single thrust, The Skarsgard strikes again.

  7. EricLr

    Bonus Hollywood himbo points for using the term “100 percent zero.”

  8. Man, does he spend everyday off work at the beach?

  9. He could have been fumbling for words, he was THAT adament that he was not stickin’ it in Demi. “One hundred percent, ZERO truth”. I personally don’t care if he can spell his own last name, he’s gorgeous.

  10. Anonymous

    Gotta feel bad for Demi. She was a hot piece back in the late 80′s/early 90′s.

    Now guys are quick to demand even a rumor of bangin’ her.

  11. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    I honestly think he’s one of the hottest men alive. Good god the things I would do. However… I had to unfollow him on Twitter and unlike him on facebook (shoot me really for ever working that in to a sentence) because it was just a wee bit too much self promotion. Yes I know that’s what those sites are ultimately all about and yes I love looking at pictures of him but it’s different when someone else posts them. Instead of “hey look at me I’m hot.”

    Er, which I guess he’s doing when the paps are notified of his shirtless whereabouts and I get to look at the results (see above). What the hell am I saying? Someone stop me…

  12. MyCoworkerIsHot

    He’s a moron. More Skarsgard pics!

  13. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Bathing Suit
    Deqnish white
    Commented on this photo:

    hot body .

  14. Cali-Native

    What an idiot. What is he schizo or bi-polar? Maybe both.

  15. “You gotta know when to fold ‘em, Ryan” Fucking classic. Good job, Fish!

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