Joe Manganiello Is Not Banging Demi Moore
Apparently there’s been a rumor going around that Joe Manganiello‘s been hooking up with Demi Moore which he really wants people to know is not happening. Because, seriously, who does that? Not counting douches in trucker hats. Those aren’t people. Via E! News:
“There is 100 percent zero truth to that,” Manganiello told Ryan Seacrest this morning during his 102.7 KIIS FM radio show. “I met her once at a premiere and I maybe talked to her for three minutes.”
Manganiello may not be romancing Moore, but it’s not like they don’t have anything in common.
“She was in Striptease, so I was like, ‘Hey, you played a stripper! I’m playing a stripper,'” he told Seacrest, adding, “and we kind of had a three-minute conversation about exchanging stripping notes, and that was it.”
“Okay, maybe I did try to have sex with her, but then this yellow flash just sort of flew right between us, and the next thing I know she’s literally birthing twins right in front of me. Now, normally, that’s not a dealbreaker, but these things were practically toddlers, and it was the tenth time that happened to me that night. So I threw in the towel and got a hooker. Ya gotta know when to fold ‘em, Ryan.”
I completely forgot I granted him this power, but let’s not kid ourselves: Alexander Skarsgard‘s out there penetrating women in bullet time. There’s no competition. It’s like trying to race Superman except you’re on a tricycle and he’s breaking the goddamn sound barrier redefining the very definition of rape as we know it.
Adding… Do I hate myself that this is a ham-fisted True Blood reference? Yes. Yes, I do.