Jocelyn Wildenstein looks really really good

March 7th, 2008 // 140 Comments

Don’t know who Jocelyn Wildenstein is? She’s a New York socialite who’s reportedly spent over $4,000,000 on plastic surgery over the years to keep her husband (God knows why it didn’t work). And yeah, I know what you’re thinking: “Only $4 million?” Shocking, isn’t it? Look at that craftsmanship. I would’ve guessed work that good would be worth at least double that. Wait, did I say double that? Because I meant a half eaten Hot Pocket. It’d be worth exactly a half eaten Hot Pocket. If I got within a hundred feet of this woman, my only thought would be to shoot her with a tranquilizer, throw her in a cage, and sell her to a zoo.

To see all 32 photos of the Cat Woman’s Chow Down, visit

NOTE: What would compel anybody in the world to look at that face and think, “I must touch those breasts.” My guess is he lost a bet, and it was either this, or put his penis in a garbage disposal. I still think he made the wrong choice.


  1. 44 to dear MIssy Ript

    Yes I remember you were dumped by some dude a while back and I would imagine it was because well you were not attractive enough so yeah I guess you can relate to her. In that you are kind of off a bit in the looks department. But it does not mean everything (other than a sexually fulfilling romantic aspect to life, which is fundamentally the most important thing there is in being a human, you know having a family which is something you will never know). You have your romance novels, puzzles and your loving friends here on this site like me.
    Kisses and a bag for your face (just in case you get me drunk enough to resort to bending you over the sofa)

  2. dear Ript

    The above was intended for you. I was off in the # part cuz I went out last night and got torched and laid and am a bit hungover. What did you do dear? I see, it was 2:33 AM and you were on this site. A pity. Send me a pic and maybe I can set you up (if you don’t mind buying the flight tickests and all other expenses) with one of my servants. Maybe my estate manager’s youngest son. He is 14 and it would serve him well to learn the primary art of bedding the ladies. And with a woman in her declining years hopefully you would be eager to serve. (Better than NOTHING right?)

    Luv ya

  3. evilance

    Bingo #23….spot on..I could never quite figure out why fergie makes my skin crawl the way it does…they are also reminicent of the character ‘Dennis’ in the movie ‘Mask’…and hey…Cher kinda has that overstuffed settee look about her too…

  4. kola


  5. M-Bob

    My wiener just went into a very long hibernation.

  6. Lord. I thought doctors were supposed to advise you on this stuff. It shouldn’t be the medical equivalent of taking your car to get customized. I’m surprised her doc didn’t talk her into the racing stripes and the glitter paint job.

  7. sicasso

    kill it. kill it now before eat begins eating little puppies or some such shit. it simply cannot be human.

  8. Wow. This woman needs help.

  9. martin loser king

    Da biatch looks better than my fat ape wife LaQueesha

  10. holy s**t
    what happend with her

  11. I wonder why she did it. She looks like a cat, doesn’t she?

  12. Ted from LA

    I am a human being.

  13. LOLz. Dude is in pain, pain I tell you! Here he’s about to projectile vomit, thus the sudden turning of his head.

    PS: Better to barf down her or its throat!

  14. whatsgoingon

    wikipedia says this woman died sometime this Feb.

  15. Jerry T.

    Isn’t that Ron Perlman still in makeup??

  16. you're a moron


    i hope your day job doesn’t involve reading for accuracy cause if it does i suspect your boss will be cutting your ass real soon.

    wikipedia says that her husband, alex, died this past february

  17. a fork in one hand and a spoon in the other. My God.
    Whats with the eyebrow scars? Looks like a little skin grafting to me…

    She seems to know about eyeliner, now how about some mascara??? Might help!

  18. a fork in one hand a nd a spoon in the other. My God.
    Whats with the eyebrow scars? Looks like a little skin grafting to me…

    She seems to know about eyeliner, now how about some mascara??? Might help!

  19. a fork in one hand and a spoon in the other. My God.
    Whats with the eyebrow scars? Looks like a little skin grafting to me…

    She seems to know about eyeliner, now how about some mascara??? Might help!

  20. Tarzan

    Well, she looks good for 67, sort of like Jungle Jane’s cheetah.

  21. Skeps

    The only words to describe that thing are

    Jesus Christ! What The Fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.

    courtesy of Hannibal King from Blade Trinity

  22. Lynn

    She looks like someone who has been burned in a fire and had reconstructive surgery. I can’t beleive that she thinks what she has done to herself is attractive. Heather Locklear is looking a bit bloated and waxy lately. What has she done to herself?

  23. tee.

    omgggg. she reminds me of a grasshopper and i don’t know why!
    Her hairline is terribly artificial, along with the rest of her face.
    I laugh at people like this.
    Money can’t buy good looks.
    Okay, to an extent maybe …. but …. jesus…. look at it!!

  24. DiDi

    I think its just sad…I can only imagine how badly she felt about herself to keep getting more and more surgery. She must have been desperately in love with her husband, and he must’ve been a serious piece of ****. I couldn’t live like that.

  25. neptune

    Her face is so scary…she doesn’t even look like a real person. I can’t imagine wanting to make your face look like that on purpose. She really should’ve been sent to a psychiatrist when she made her “cat face” surgery request.

  26. There’s something seriously FUCKED UP about that. I feel so bad about it.

  27. James

    Paying $4 Million Dollars so that they can make your face look like a baboon’s butt? Are you serious? What a stupid woman.

  28. frenchy

    What a monster !!

  29. Trish

    Actually she has a really sad past.
    Supposedly she intentionally did this to try and win back her philandering husband who was a “jungle feline” lover.
    Thinking she would be more attractive to him if she looked more like a tiger/cat, she went thru this surgery.
    She used to be quite pretty. Very sad indeed.

  30. justtheobvious

    how bad of a canvas did the plastic surgeon have to start with? She had to have been a train wreck before. Oh, wait, she is a train wreck after, so what is worse than a train wreck before the wreck?

  31. EuroNeckPain

    People, do NOT think about getting a face lift. It makes you look like A WALKING CORPSE.
    Didn’t you LOVE the wrinkles of your grandparents when you were children ? Why would you want to look like a waxy bloated ken/barbie instead, when you reach their age ?
    This woman took it to an extreme, but all people who have liftings more or less display the same characteristics: a bar along the jaws, a weird hairline, fixed eyes, no charm, a strange velum-like skin. It is scary and disgusting.

  32. jrz

    It’s like..Barbara Streisand and one of those stone lion statues outside of the library had a baby together. My. God.

  33. Ban this asshole 76. cora! I am sick of these MFers spamming all the gossip websites with their dating horseshit.

    PS: Let’s see Jessica Alba’s tits they’ve gotta be filled with milk by now!

  34. woodhorse

    She could be in the PussyCat Dolls if it weren’t for those fragile 67 year old hips.

    Lowlands, lets go to a cantina in Puerto Vallarta and be lazy lazy lazy in the sun.

  35. Bob Moser

    When did Janice Dickenson die her hair blond?

  36. Paulie

    She looks line Butthead… ah huh-huh,

  37. nick lachey is a douche

    #74 why is her former husband the bad guy because this woman was insecure and made bad choices because of her low self-esteem? shut the fuck up bitches. quit looking for men to define you and define yourselves. if you think butchering yourself will gain you love you’re wrong. it will only show how shallow and pathetic you are and any decent man will run miles to be free of you

  38. bob

    Ugly, I’d rather go to to look for some hot sexual encounters instead. Shit!

  39. Great. Now my eye won’t stop twitching.

  40. jesus fucking christ that is ugly

  41. Adam

    Her face looks like a half eaten Hot Pocket.

  42. Banana

    Someone wanted to see what she looked like before. LOL
    what a moron she is, another thing is she actually wanted to look like a cat
    so i guess she got what she wanted….

  43. Bodylotion

    Holy fuck, that is some mangled face. What the hell does is she thinking, that modifying your face to oblivion makes you look pretty? Hot DAMN! I wouldn’t touch that with a 50 foot pole!

  44. A women turns into a man/animal. You can get all this for $4,000,000. Obviously she thinks she looks great and she can not own any mirrors in her home or her husband has her drugged up all the time.

  45. fergernauster

    “It’s like..Barbara Streisand and one of those stone lion statues outside of the library had a baby together. My. God.”

    Aha ha ha ha!!! Thank you, jrz. And you are RIGHT ON about that.

  46. fergernauster

    She is 67.


    A senior citizen.

    Her face may look fresh ‘n flawless; however, just imagine what her feline nether-regions resemble. You can be certain she has had some finely crafted cutting ‘n stitching down there as well.

  47. HuckyDucky

    #76 is right. He IS a humor guy.

  48. chester molester


    hurray i’m #100. i digress, you can get a vagina lift. plastic surgeons have been fixing up vags for a couple years now so i’m sure her vag has been made lovely as well.

  49. CS

    Gag me with a spoon. More like Jocelyn Wilderbeast.

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