Joaquin Phoenix serious about rap career, says rep

January 29th, 2009 // 39 Comments

Despite reports that Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career is an elaborate hoax for a documentary, his rep Susan Patricola sent the following statement to MTV News to set the record straight/basically admit her client is fucking batshit:

“The transition from one career to another is never seamless. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Joaquin came from a musical family, in addition to winning a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Johnny Cash,” Patricola wrote in an e-mail. “He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions.”

Oh, Joaquin Phoenix won a Golden Globe for playing Johnny Cash. So by that logic, if Brad Pitt had won for Benjamin Button, he would’ve gained the creative license to age backwards. Jesus. Are you sure this was Joaquin’s rep who wrote this and not the guy he shoots heroin with inside a teepee?

Photo: Flynet
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  1. Andy

    Joacleft, you’re no Andy Kaufman.

  2. JACK MEHOFF

    WHAT A DICK

  3. el benow

    that man is SO hot. want to touch the hiney.

  4. Cynthia

    The movie he’s making will be as funny as Tom Green.

  5. Jessica Simpson

    He looks fat, but it’s probably his unflattering outfit.

  6. Kim Kardashian

    His penis is a size 2.

  7. Deacon Jones

    What was with that whole sister love story in Gladiator anyways?? (doing Rip Taylor impersonation)

  8. Britney Spears

    He was hot before he starting taking drugs and totally let himself go.

  9. mimi

    Praying for hiney.

  10. Tom Cruise

    He stole my bathhouse disguise.

  11. Lindsay Lohan

    Reminds me of the time I was really wasted and I put sunglasses right above Samantha’s clit.

  12. Max Planck

    Smokers suck.

  13. SERIOUSLY……WTF? Is he trying to be Andy Kaufman???

  14. Jrz

    Joacleff….that’s clever.

    Anyhoo…..zzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  15. KatKat

    Is that his peen poking through the hole in his pants?

  16. Ummm...yeah...

    OMFG! He needs to just fucking die already! Nasty ass fool! I hope he falls off the fucking stage again..this time breaking his stupid neck.

  17. Danielle ...is back, i guess.

    This site is still boring as fck.

  18. jt

    this is obviously so fake. such a hoax

  19. Thomas Paine

    You know who isn’t serious about his rap career?

    Us. All of the people of the earth.

  20. ZOD

    Is it just me or does he not look like the Geico Caveman.

  21. ZOD

    Is it just me or does he not look like the Geico Caveman.

  22. Vince Lombardi

    Why couldn’t he have died, instead of Bernie Mac?

  23. Bobo

    How can anyone get behind a rapper that wears cords onstage?? I mean, freakin’ CORDS!

  24. lattygirl

    I don’t believe it for a second. This is right up there with Britney’s ‘no-really-i’m-a-virgin’ and Michael Jackson’s ‘these-are-my-biological-kids’.

    C’mon, Joaquin! Jokes up, be a good sport.

  25. blahblahblah

    #24.
    those arn’t cords, douche. they are grey jeans.
    but how can anyone take someone seriously when they have pubes on their face?

  26. bop

    LOL. I thought he was sexy in Walk the Line, We Own the Night, and a few others, and a good actor. I think he has a drug problem.
    Lol to the hole in his pants though.

  27. bop

    LOL. I thought he was sexy in Walk the Line, We Own the Night, and a few others, and a good actor. I think he has a drug problem.
    Lol to the hole in his pants though.

  28. cam

    Watch the interviews with him,..Before and after his “Yeah I’m going to be a musican now” deal. He’s OBVIOUSLY acting. (too bad he’s not a good enough actor to be remotely convincing. On the spot without 100 retakes, a script and a cue card girl standing there he’s as bad as any d-rate soap opera actor.

    His Career was going dormant so this is a publicity stunt, there will probably be some crappy TV show or web site that uses this as their “Wow, we punkd those reporters and the crowds they never saw it coming! Yeah we’re underground! I’m Andy Kaufman!!” opening skit. (Looks like something stupid and poorly done enough to be on SuperDeluxe) to bad anyone with half a brain can see this is a bad spoof job.

    Epic fail on their part.

    Also all you fanboys, he was crap in walk the line, but Cash was suck a killer icon that you could make a movie about him with a chimp as the lead role and you’d win an award.

    And the obligatory HARELIP!

  29. timmy the dying boy

    Were it not for the coattails of his dearly departed brother (the talented one), this dork would consider himself lucky to have his cushy job unloading trucks on the Wal-Mart night shift.

  30. OFCOURSE, grizzly adams was serious about the bears too, folks!!

  31. irishslut

    I don’t care what he does–I love him. And #25 don’t forget about Paris’ statement “I’ve only fucked a few guys” I would still let this guy go balls deep and swim in a pool of shit to toss his salad.

  32. Minty

    lol @20

  33. C Alan

    He has on 2 microphones, the one in his hand is obv going to the house system and the pack he’s wearing on his hip going to a video rig… what an horrible documentary it will be.

  34. diddleysquat

    “the guy he shoots heroin with inside a teepee?” lolleddd

  35. TJ

    The dude turned into a hare-lipped skeez.

    Anybody who posts after me eats scab sandwiches with smegma mayonnaise.

  36. Stop the madness Joaquin! I miss the days of Johnny Cash and Signs. He looked so dreamy in his tin foil hat :-(

  37. I actually would like to see Joaquin do his Johnny Cash impersonation at concerts. That would be really cool.

  38. I do not believe for one second. It is right up there with Britney. Michael Jackson’s.

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