Joaquin Phoenix has lost his shit

January 18th, 2009 // 155 Comments

Joaquin Phoenix made his musical debut Friday night at Vegas night club LAVO, and surprise! He’s a homeless rapper. The Oscar nominee jumped around the stage while performing/smoking for a perplexed crowd who have vowed never to take Ecstacy again. On the sidelines, brother-in-law Casey Affleck filmed the whole thing for a documentary I can only assume will be titled Joaquin Phoenix, Stay the Fuck Away From My Kids.

NOTE: Joaquin “rapping” after the jump along with a clip of him falling off the stage in case anyone thought this was actually a legitimate performance by someone not on heroin.

The Musical Stylings of Joaquin Phoenix:

One of these people is going to die soon. Guess which one.

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

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  1. Amanda

    I bet you it’s just a publicity stunt.. I mean.. Look what that guy that plays Borat does.. people don’t know if he’s for real sometimes or not. He might be doing this for a documentary on How Hollywood reacts to people who go off the deep end or something.. proving that Hollywood or the Paps drove Britney Crazy.. I dunno…

    I’m just hoping its a stunt.. and not for real. He used to be so awesome.. Gladiator, Signs.. *Sigh*… why!!

  2. alice

    does anyone care that the guy has a huge hole in his pants near the crotch, is that so the cops can’t bust him for peeing on the street? or easy access? it just makes me sad that a guy with some acting chops suddenly finds legitimacy in mimicking Matisyahu. He’s too easy a target.

  3. What…the…hell…was…that??? Did he not learn ANYTHING from his brother’s death?

    No?

    Guess not…

  4. NEVER BACK DOWN MAN

    this is JUST LIkE THAT MOVIE NEVER BACK DOWN WHERE IT WAS JUST LIKE NEVER BACK DOWN. DO YOU RMEMBER THAT PART IN THE NEVER BACK DOWN MVIE WHERE IT WAS JUST LIKE THAT MOIVE? GOOD

  5. alice

    and if it is a publicity stunt then.. go him. bet it’ll be hilarious to some people. stoners maybe.

  6. stunt

    @45, you’re right about him changing his name, but his given name was Leaf. I’m almost positive. Rain is his sister.

  7. lork

    YES!!! it is just like that movie!!!!

  8. His pupils are not constricted enough to indicate opiate intoxication. The glasses would not make a difference as opiates constrict the pupils regardless of environmental factors.

  9. Mr Hobbes

    Yeah, his original name is Leaf. That’s how he is credited in the the movie “Space Camp.”

  10. Sky

    He may not care what people are saying about him, but I’m sure his publicist is reading all the message boards. He needs to make his career change quietly before he loses all credibility. How can Summer, Rain and Casey watch this and not tell him the truth. It’s very sad….

  11. Sky

    He may not care what people are saying about him, but I’m sure his publicist is reading all the message boards. He needs to make his career change quietly before he loses all credibility. How can Summer, Rain and Casey watch this and not tell him the truth. It’s very sad….

  12. Kicky

    He is screwing with us, that is the subject of the documentary Phoenix and Affleck are filming – the rise and fall of “celebrities. Or so I pray to God cause if this isn’t the case so much talent and such good looks are spent on thin air..

  13. Fas(c)hionista

    Wow, he is painfully white.

    What self-important-and-yet-totally-irrelevant-younger-brothers-of-famous-people.

    He should fall off the earth, not the stage.

  14. Fas(c)hionista

    Wow, he is painfully white.

    What self-important-and-yet-totally-irrelevant-younger-brothers-of-famous-people.

    He should fall off the earth, not the stage.

  15. at number 18

    @18–

    That was really big of you :)
    I admire someone who can so adequately admit their slipup and move on.
    Thanks for being a good person!

  16. I just watched “Walk The Line” for the first time last week and thought “Wow, he sure is a talented man. I wish him luck with his musical career, though it’s too bad we have to lose him as an actor.”

    …… uh. THIS is the musical career he wanted to pursue? IS this music? Does he think this could become a career? Good god, man, put the pipe down and flush the rest away! How many more confused spectators will you fall on before you understand?! You are a incestuous Roman emperor! You are an alien-bashing farm boy! You are Johnny Cash! And once you were even a bear– but you are NOT a rapper.

  17. Joaquin is a retarded name

    To you multicultural awesome types: we speak English here. Monkey names and words should be ignored. If you are proud to not be a regular American type that’s cool. Just go to some place where people think and spell and prattle like you do. You see, we hate all of your fucking guts in reality. This is a natural thing and all of us know it. But of course the capitalist pigs who have siezed all of our money here and there and everywhere want to do business (steal) in all places. And so they speak the language of the conquered long enough to displace our culture with their psuedoculture (tv, radio, newspapers etc.)

    Joaquin sounds like an elongate section of feces. Is that what is means in classic retard?

  18. monkey gobble

    we’re being had, wake up- this is for a role! he has not retired from acting, he’s doing it right now.

  19. but don’t be surprised, folks.
    …….THERE INDEED IS MORE!!

  20. Ummm...yeah...

    God I want to hurt you Fish! I hate your fucking guts.
    Who the fuck cares what this assholes’ name is…it should be Double Dumb Ass. He’s a fucking retard…just like Fish.

  21. Tyler

    You said “One of these people is going to die soon. Guess which one.” Now you know damn well if it happens and dude overdoses you are gonna feel like shit.

  22. sapphire eyes

    I just wish I didn’t have to see the hole in the crotch of his pants.

    Yuck….

    On the plus side, maybe he and K-Fed could team up and become some stupid white rap duo. Rap sucks enough, how much damage could they really do to the “genre” at this point?

    And I think Joaquin is a cool name. Rain, Leaf, Summer — works better with ‘Phoenix” than Joe, doncha think?

  23. slink

    leave him alone man…he’s following his dream!

  24. He’s just drunk ! so what ?

  25. Roxi

    only thing im going to say is: HOLY SH*****t!!!

  26. Jibbly Biggins

    Men: Please shave. Like Joaquin Phoenix, you too can look like a yeti or Osama Bin Laden if you grow out the beard. I’ve never seen a huge beard that looks like anything other than a mass of pubic hair. DON’T DO IT.

  27. diediedieobama

    They should have invite him to Osama’s inauguration. He would have fit right in.
    Rednecks of the country don’t fail me now!

  28. diediedieobama

    l
    l
    l
    ————-+————–
    l
    l
    l

  29. CX495

    @45 and 56, his given name is JOAQUIN you idiots. He changed it to Leaf because it wasn’t retarded enough and he wanted to fit in with his hippie family. God.

  30. BV

    i bet u this is some Borat/gonzo filming, and will eventually come out as a faux docu-movie. Or maybe he’s just on drugs.

  31. bryan

    the comment before mine made me wanna kill myself. #4, i’m glad somebody else caught on to what i was thinking.

  32. Tanya

    This makes me feel sooo embarrassed just watching it. What has happened to Joaquin?

  33. lulu vega

    #9-”he looks like Jesus cracked out brother”
    It is a Spanish name you dipshit. The Joa part of his name is pronounced with a “w” sound.
    I agree, he looks way out crazy maaan!

  34. Banquo

    Wow,..a C-Rate Actor Making D-Rate music. What were the odds.

    Take any movie he’s been in and it’s easy to imagine someone else doing a better job. There will never be a time/place in life where someone will look at this guy for a (positive) achievement and say “Wow, no one else could have done it quite like that”

    Of course if he OD’s we’ll have to put up with all the idiots saying he was the greatest actor/musician ever. (I mean look at Heath Ledger,…before death mediocre performer, after death greatest actor ever.

    And I don’t care what the origin of his name is,…it sucks too.

  35. Balls McCoy

    @23 that’s what I’m thinking. It proves how easily led,obsessed and fickle the media/celeb blog world is.

  36. Ake

    I feel so sorry for him!
    he used to be one of the best players in the team. Many hot cougars on ****Agelessdate.COM*** wanna marry a man like him. I did see some supermodels there. I know many guys tired of dating the ordinary, maybe u can meet your special at the club :-).

  37. missywissy

    I think it’s his life and he should do what he wants. He may be a gifted actor and handsome, but it doesn’t seem that’s what he wants for himself. However, it is sad to watch him “fall apart”. Seems like he has a lot to offer. I hope his dealer gets caught.

  38. Dr.

    I like the easy-access masturbation hole in his pants.

  39. Pedro the Lion

    Drugs are bad…..MMMMKAY??

  40. John wayne was a nazi

    #67 your a fuckin idiot… take your mangled hodgepodge of ideologies and make your bed before your mother tells me i can get my belt out on you…

    I think joaquin went to his stylist and asked
    ” I’ll just take the amber alert”

  41. Dizzy

    A speedball killed River yet whatever THIS a-hole’s doing doesn’t kill him? Life ain’t fair.

  42. Gypsy lady

    Whoever you are superficial writer, you’re probably right about this Phoenix dying soon. So Unfortunate that we and nobody else is going to stop him from doing this so publicly.

  43. phoenix fan

    he is clearly THE GREATEST MC ALIVE TODAY!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rr_cv_M1mk

  44. Joaquin

    Joaquin is a Spanish name. No hippie stuff, just pronounce it as in its original language. Like Arnold Schwarzennegger.

  45. Hey #14
    its ” pretentious ”
    Lern To Spel okay ??

  46. EveryonePoops

    I don’t get it. The guy did the chugga-chugga thing pretty well in Walk The Line. He should start a Western Swing band or something. I’d totally go see that. But no, instead he opts to jump up and down “rapping” like a fucking douchetard.

  47. bob

    Hey #9 it’s “losers” not “loosers”! God I hate that mistake, and it’s so common too for some reason.

  48. azzman

    thats horrible.

  49. sid

    he was sooo SEXY! what happen? he got fat and gross! ughhh

  50. Cam

    All I can think about is that big open festering puss leaking hole in his face before they surgeried him all up. This is an improvement (though he should get some moustache implants to cover his harelip tracks.)

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