Joaquin Phoenix Might Be Lex Luthor

December 19th, 2013 // 14 Comments
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“Joaquin Phoenix, what are you going to do once that acid wears off?”
“Kill Superman!” – How this post happened

Now that the Internet’s done making alternate Breaking Bad endings, it’s time to forget Bryan Cranston being Lex Luthor and move on to.. Joaquin Phoenix? Eh, why not? He’s got a young girlfriend. Kids love comics. Variety reports:

Though sources couldn’t confirm what the role is, it’s believed to be for the main antagonist, which is likely to be Lex Luthor. Names like Jason Momoa and Callan Mulvey have been linked to the film but even if those actors are cast, sources are saying that they wouldn’t play the main villain, and that Warners has always wanted someone who would be a slam dunk in the role.

I’m actually okay with this because after Gene Hackman, Michael Rosenbaum and Kevin Spacey doing Gene Hackman (Easy, Duck Commander, easy…) we’re long overdue for a mush-mouthed Lex Luthor who compulsively masturbates. It’s 2013 for God’s sake.

“Your demented plot is over, Luth- whoa, dude, what are you doing?”
“Silence, Superman! Silence. Little Lex needs silence… Seriously, this should just take a minute.”
“Want me to wait outside?”
“Could you?”

Photos: Getty


  1. This movie is uh…it’s gonna suck, isn’t it?

  2. And hey, if Joaquin Phoenix ducks out for whatever reason, I’m sure they can get Tony Little for a good price.

  3. and his girlfriend can play Jimmy Olsen.

  4. I am kind of okay with this. I think he would be a decent Lex Luthor. I mean it is not like this movie is going to be great anyway. It might, but the odds are overwhelmingly against it.

  5. After his awesome Breaking Bad antihero performance of the decade, I would’ve been happy with Brian Cranston playing Lex Luthor.

  6. anonymous

    Meh….it could be worse. It could be Jon Hamm at which point musclebound Superman and Batman would cry the moment the Lex Luthor enters the room without underwear.

  7. he might be an actor…

  8. schmidtler

    I call bullshit – dude’s not even bald, how’s he going to play Lex Luthor?

  9. A conversation between Zack Snyder and Joaquin Phoenix that will be heard on set:
    ZS – Okay, Joaquin, in this scene you enter the room and say…
    JP – Am I not merciful?
    ZS – Uh, no. That’s not the line. You enter the room and say…
    ZS – Can someone please get Cranston here?

  10. Joaquin Phoenix Crazy Eyes Scarlett Johansson Her Premiere 8th Rome Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    dude looks like the neighborhood child predator

  11. Ten bucks says none of you could resist covering his hair with your thumbs to see what this would look like.

  12. With that hairline of his give it a year for him to lose it, with that hair-lip I suggest lots of spackle.

    • Mama Pinkus

      I believe you mean to say harelip, which is an old-fashioned term for cleft palate but either way, Joaquin’s lip scar is the result of neither – it is a birth mark.

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