‘The People v. Joanna Krupa’s Smelly Vagina’ Is Still Happening

It’s been over three years since Brandi Glanville started taking about Joanna Krupa’s supposedly smelly vagina, and because our reality is a frozen turd lake on Planet Pooptron, we’re still talking about it. That’s because Joanna Krupa was dumb enough to sue Brandi over it in a case that I can’t believe wasn’t immediately thrown out, but I’m kind of glad, because now I know how to get a court to order a famous person to hand over medical documents describing their lady garage. Seriously, that’s what’s happening here. Via TMZ:

A judge signed the order in Joanna’s defamation case against Brandi, which says she has to release her gynecological records from 2000 to 2005. According to the docs, Joanna also has to produce any correspondence with Lisa Vanderpump, Mohamed Hadid and Andy Cohen that relates to the case.

There you go, folks. That’s the world we live in now. And while I’m no lawyer, I can easily say this is a mockery of our already fucked up justice system. So despite the fact that men wouldn’t care if her vagina smelled like a garbage truck in July because her breasts look like this, Joanna Krupa thinks she needs a judge to tell everyone not to listen to what a drunk, melted Barbie says about her. In that spirit, I’ve prepared several exhibits for Joanna’s case that speak to the mental stability of her accuser, specifically what’s been done to her face over just the past year. And not because I would live in Shia LaBeouf’s armpit for a week just to graze my face past these, but because I’m a man who cares about justice.

Brandi Glanville January 2016
January 2016: Not even remotely natural, but not scary yet.

Brandi Glanville Kim Richards July 2016
July 2016: Notice how Kim Richards looks more like a normal human being, and she’s 117% gin in this picture.

Brandi Glanville 2017
January 2017: And full-blown monster-face. Don’t believe her vagina lies.

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Getty