Joanna Krupa Says She’s ‘Sex-Deprived’

September 28th, 2012 // 42 Comments
It's Been Three Years
I'm Pretty Sure You Can Find A New Man, Call It A Hunch Read More »

Back in 2009, Joanna Krupa complained about not having enough sex with her fiance and three years later she still hasn’t figured out she’s clearly engaged to a woman because she’s still not getting enough. A problem I’d be more than happy solve because, trust me, after one night with me, she’ll never want to do anything but watch reality TV and bitch about curtains. I’m like a housewife whisperer. Via Celebuzz:

“I feel deprived. I’m deprived of sex. I am,” Krupa confessed to Celebuzz Editor in Chief Dylan Howard.
“I don’t get it as much as I would like to . . . every day would be nice.”
Krupa, who has been engaged to Zago for five years, also credits some of her relationship troubles to her bi-costal life in Los Angeles and Miami.
“I think that’s also a big issue for him because obviously he would want us under one roof, but I’m a businesswoman. I can’t give up and sacrifice my career, my future for a man, especially being engaged for so many years. I’ve always been very independent, I take care of myself,” she said.

Of course, another solution is to just get married and then she’ll never want to have sex again, but basically committing suicide sounds pretty extreme, so why don’t we try all that stuff I talked about with me first? The whispering stuff. Clearly her fiance would want it this way seeing as he’s always so busy and “tired of her fat vagina that looks like her mother’s.” I’m just repeating what he said.

Photos: INFdaily


  1. XGL

    She’s just saying this shit for attention. I lost a lot of respect for her when she signed up for Real Housewives.

    • karlito

      my question is…WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BROAD!!!!! i’ve never seen or heard of her before. oh sorry, i just read that she’s some sort of “reality TV star”, so i’ll re-ask my question…WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BROAD!!!!!

      • Kodos

        got started on “The Man Show” as a Juggy dancer, and then… well, let’s see..


      • XGL

        She’s a “model”, I guess, but she’s a housewife of miami now, even though she’s just engaged, and trust me… she should never open her mouth.

  2. I nominate Don Zaloog to remedy this.

  3. The Royal Penis

    I’ll fix her problems. I’ll make her new career/job fucking me to death. Problem solved. Now go make me a sammy.

  4. Cardinal Ximenez

    did she say “she takes care of herself”? Translation… she loves to play with her kitty…

  5. Inner Retard

    So am I. You don’t hear me gripe about it. Except just now. And to my shrink. And my grocer. At the newsstand. The woman behind me in line. But that was different. She wanted to ask. I could see it in her eyes.

  6. cc

    Bi-costal? So one is Pentecost and the other is what?

  7. Da Meat Man

    She deserves to be “deprived of sex” for having a flat ass.

  8. Bozo's Choice

    The thing about women saying they don’t have enough sex is they always omit the second part of that statement. Which goes: …with guys I find attractive. What guys need to know is the list of men a given woman finds attractive is shorter than a Tom Cruise sex joke. And most likely you’re not on it!

    • That Bastard Tony

      As the great 20th century philosopher Christopher Rock once said, “pussy costs money, dick is free.”

      …and the sad part is it’s not just looks. If you are a decent-looking guy and broke, you definitely aren’t on that list. The sex toy industry and porn industry will forever be profitable.

      • Visible Ink

        Very good point Tony. Looks, money, personality (by personality I mean obey everything she says) all have to be there. Plus a 147 other outrageous qualities men are not aware of and only exist in women’s minds. But men are still expected to live up to.

  9. Craptard

    wtf, how can a married woman complain she’s not getting it enough, unless she married a secretly gay dude, or she gained 50 pounds right after the wedding? Sheesh, I’d sneak up behind the wife and plug her while she was scrambling eggs for breakfast, go at her while she was sleeping, putting things up on the high shelves in the garage, putting away groceries, cleaning out her car, etc. If you own the cow, you’re crazy not to be milking it day and night! Or maybe it’s just me, and I get crazy horny watching a woman cook and do chores for me?

    • Craptard's Wife

      Lets talk about your recent behavior. The sexual assaults you think of as “plugging” have compelled me to look into a restraining order. Half the neighborhood saw the garage and car incidents. And if you refer to me as a cow you own again, I’m going to take a sharpened pencil and stab you in your happy place seven or eight times.

    • Hey, Craphead…I mean Craptard. Maybe you ought to reread the article. She AIN’T fucking married! And vice versa, come to think of it.

  10. Joanna Krupa Cleavage Chevy SSR Pink Taco
    Commented on this photo:

    If this chick has a problem getting laid she either:
    1) Incredibly picky
    2) A major bitch
    3) Not interested in sex at all, but she’s hot so she’s expected to be sexual, so she’s just saying what she thinks people want to hear.

    Either way it’s all bullshit. She could just pick any random asshole that catches her eye and she’s guaranteed to get some dick. She’s not trying hard enough.

  11. poopy

    her life must be really hard

  12. Best quote of the day “Dude, What Is Wrong With You?!”,
    I would chew through that car seat to get to that pussy!

  13. Craptard's Wife

    Lets talk about your recent behavior. The sexual assaults you think of as “plugging” have compelled me to look into a restraining order. Half the neighborhood saw the garage and car incidents. And if you refer to me as a cow you own again, I’m going to take a sharpened pencil and stab you in your happy place seven or eight times.

  14. Devilish Diva

    This is what happens when young women go out with old(er) men.
    No amount of money would have me pick old, wrinkly, balding and sexually weak over young, cute and virile. But the young guy would have to be smart, kind and funny as well.

  15. I just hope she doesn’t have unrealistic expectations of sex from reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

    • I was also going to say something about grabbing her drumsticks and playing on her bongos, but I suspect maybe five people here will get the reference.

  16. Dj

    As a woman, I can assure you, I would have my tongue in her sweet spot nearly 24/7

  17. She really IS fucking hot, though. He phone is going to start ringing off the hook.

  18. skunk

    everyday is too much. but i would take a bj from her everyday

  19. Kodos

    the whole “engaged for five years” thing should be a major red flag, sweetie.. but then brains are not your strong suit, I know…’s OK, though

  20. El Jefe

    Attention whore.

  21. Joanna Krupa Cleavage Chevy SSR Pink Taco
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s way too hot to be gay. Maybe that’s her problem, being too dumb pretty that no guys ask her out because they think she has a boyfriend.

  22. anonym

    her face is meh.

    but i’m sure every guy in los angeles would love to pound the shit out of that snatch at least once.

    she could get plenty of sex if she whored herself

  23. SFRowGuy

    Girlfriend, tell me about it! I’m there with you.

  24. Mick

    Don’t care, I will watch her take care of herself anytime.

Leave A Comment