Joanna Krupa Doing Handstands In A Bikini Deserves Its Own Post

November 11th, 2013 // 43 Comments
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My Dearest Mabel,

I know not when I’ll return from these cold, harsh front lines of Germany, but if I do, I swear to make an honest woman out of you. I know our time apart has been long which is why I write to you this night to reinforce my hope for the future should we win this damnable war. For you see, I fight for a free world where tyranny and oppression will think twice before rearing their ugly heads. A world where a Polish woman can move to America and use her dynamite figure to marry a wealthy businessman as her scantily clad body is repeatedly photographed then transmitted across a vast interglobal network where men’s peckers will be, well, they’ll just be straight rigid, Mabel. It is a silly dream, but it is my dream. Also, I should probably disclose that French hookers are lousy with syphilis, just lousy with it. I replaced my whole platoon’s sidearms with bananas the other day. The ones who survived agreed it was most riotous. Although, they, too, have syphilis.

Stay a virgin,

The Unknown Soldier (I call myself that now. The boys think it’s tops.)

Photos: FameFly, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. i thought this woman was some sort of celebrity by merit rather than a housewife fame whore.

  2. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    That reminds me, I need to get my camel a mani-pedi.

  3. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    dudeman
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG… She wins.. every award possible.. please keep posting pics like this.. what a perfect body..

  4. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (will HE fuck me?)

  5. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    Take a lesson, Miley. This is how you sport a camel toe.

  6. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I met a Fed Ex logistics manager at a barbecue this summer.

    He told me story after story that the drivers would tell him about being seduced by lonely housewives. As in, they would order something to be delivered every Tuesday and give them a quickie right in the hallway of their house.

    I can only imagine what a Fed Ex driver in Miami sees….

  7. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    armo
    Commented on this photo:

    Pay the Man, Alice

  8. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    armo
    Commented on this photo:

    $$$ Shot. Pay the Man (again) Alice

  9. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    beaver eater
    Commented on this photo:

    man her puss is so hungry it’s trying to eat the bikini bottoms. I need to be there to give her a little sustenance.

  10. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    Never in my life have I been so angry with the person who invented the water bottle.

  11. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    And speaking of bologna, what do you think her vagina looks like?

  12. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Take THAT Miley…I’ll reveal more than you will!

  13. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    I like where her fingers are going.

  14. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my fucking god.

    (This pic is worthy of having that spelled out in full)

  15. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    If I was that woman standing there I would go have dinner!!.

  16. I’m neither rich, nor am I a businessman, but what I am is a man with an average sized penis and a particular set of skills. Skills that would provide you with one to two minutes (max) of moderate discomfort followed by disspointment (on your part).

  17. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Geez, that guy is sporting one hell of a boner.’

    – The Dog

  18. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    john
    Commented on this photo:

    must be cold
    God I love Thanksgiving…….so many turkeys done
    those things could cut glass.

  19. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    john
    Commented on this photo:

    GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS…GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS?!?!?!?!
    CAMEL TOE DAY!!!!!!! WAWOOO!!!!!!!!!

  20. P.T.S. Potential Trouble Source

    This message is for Goop and her powerful publicist, this IS sexy, her and Kate Beckinsale are what men find sexy/most beautiful……………..

  21. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be liquid latex.

  22. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    She really is physical perfection.

  23. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot.

  24. I’ve long held a grudge against Christian pastors (or any religion) that teach that your wealth is equivalent to your grace or god’s favor. The Joel Osteen’s of the world.

    What I’m saying is: I’m a fucking moron. They were right. All along. Your wealth is EXACTLY equivalent to God’s love for you. Because it buys you this. Not your looks, not your personality, not your charm, but cold hard cash. If God loved you, you would have it, and then you would have this. Sorry God hates you (us).

  25. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Sir William
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how you turn a blonde into a brunette with bad breath.

  26. Just what is the handstands thing all about?

  27. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope The Superficial doesn’t get into copyright trouble for removing the “Brazzers” logo from this…

  28. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her, she is 10x the hottest thing going.

  29. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this woman have a corner lot with a viewing section or what?

  30. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    Put a Nike logo on that bottle, Jeebus.

  31. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    Dat Ass!!

  32. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Teddy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ole says to the doctor at Mayo Clinic: “I got a problem. I have a big bowel movement at 6 in da morning every day.”
    Doctor: “That sounds perfectly normal. Why are you so worried about it?”
    Ole: “Yah, but I don’t wake up until 7.”

  33. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    There are so manythings I could do with her. I wonder if she is up for needlepoint?

  34. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Make a wish.

  35. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Just_As_it_IS
    Commented on this photo:

    First you had my curiosity… now you have my attention.

  36. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    How long can I stare at the crotch?

  37. Joanna Krupa Bikini Handstands
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF so now the water bottle get out of the way.

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