Joanna Krupa’s Bachelorette Party Seems Fun

In theory, Joanna Krupa’s bachelorette party should be depressing because it means I’ll never have a chance to con her into thinking I’m a wealthy flan magnate (Or does it?), but at least I can take comfort in knowing that if I’m not having sex with her, neither is anybody else. In fact, if I were her fiancee, the next couple of days would be a good time to start going, “So, listen, about this pre-nup…” before he finds himself alone in a basement writing dick jokes on the Internet as hours become days and days become years and before you know it, the same dick you’ve been joking about to total strangers is now just a grey pile of mush that not even you want to touch and then you’re dead. — I mean, congratulations!

Photos: ELMO JAYO/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN