J.Lo stuffs baby heads into bottles
Jennifer Lopez has proven herself to be the ultimate people pleaser by simultaneously quenching her Corpse Groom’s thirst for virgin blood, providing teenage girls with yet another scent to conceal the smell of pot that’s baked into their tank tops, and making amends with Heather Mills McCartney by focusing on killing something other than animals:
The Latin beauty, who has just launched a new fragrance called Live, revealed: “They asked me what smells intrigued me and I told them the smell of a baby’s head was beautiful.”
Bravo, Heather Mills. Bravo. Because of you, the world’s squirrels are safe for another day, and we’re finally addressing the alarming issue of infant overpopulation. And kudos to you, J.Lo. You truly are a modern-day Jonathan Swift.