More Like Commissioner MURDER

EXT. – Gotham City PD rooftop. Goddamn fucking midnight. I’m talking it’s dark as shit, and you can barely see anything. Not a goddamn thing, that’s how fucking dark and awesome it is. You’re like, Jesus, how fucking epically, ominously dark can this shit get? And then it’s even more dark.

A guitar riff pierces the hardcore fucking blackness. It’s Batman, bitch.

BATMAN
The fuck do you want, Jim?

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Hey, I fucking respect you, Batman, but I will fucking break you with these goddamn fucking guns of mine.

BATMAN
Go ahead and try.

[A massive fucking brawl ensues. These bros are like snapping necks and like breaking fucking arms and shit. It looks so fucking tight.]

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Alright, alright, my mom’s name’s Martha, too.

BATMAN
What?! Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I’ll fucking cry at your funeral, man. Are we friends?

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Yeah, we’re friends, Batman. But, first, you and I need to murder some crime. Me with these sick fucking arms. You with a whole bunch of guns even though people think you shouldn’t use them because they’re like fags or whatever.

BATMAN
Ha! Know who else is gay? Superman.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Fuck that moody bitch.

BATMAN
So fucking moody. Although we did form a badass team with this crazy hot chick with a sword, so I probably shouldn’t have said that.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Sounds like pussy shit to me. Anyhow, ready to get your murder on?

BATMAN
Way ahead of you. [Shoots like a shitload bad guys with a machine gun and everyone’s all like, “Whaaa?”]

So these are my notes. Hope they help! – Zack

Saturday morning, 61 years old & making the young generation jealous. This is what dedication looks like. #JKSimmons

A photo posted by Aaron Williamson (@aaronvwilliamson) on

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