More Like Commissioner MURDER
EXT. – Gotham City PD rooftop. Goddamn fucking midnight. I’m talking it’s dark as shit, and you can barely see anything. Not a goddamn thing, that’s how fucking dark and awesome it is. You’re like, Jesus, how fucking epically, ominously dark can this shit get? And then it’s even more dark.
A guitar riff pierces the hardcore fucking blackness. It’s Batman, bitch.
The fuck do you want, Jim?
Hey, I fucking respect you, Batman, but I will fucking break you with these goddamn fucking guns of mine.
Go ahead and try.
[A massive fucking brawl ensues. These bros are like snapping necks and like breaking fucking arms and shit. It looks so fucking tight.]
Alright, alright, my mom’s name’s Martha, too.
What?! Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I’ll fucking cry at your funeral, man. Are we friends?
Yeah, we’re friends, Batman. But, first, you and I need to murder some crime. Me with these sick fucking arms. You with a whole bunch of guns even though people think you shouldn’t use them because they’re like fags or whatever.
Ha! Know who else is gay? Superman.
Fuck that moody bitch.
So fucking moody. Although we did form a badass team with this crazy hot chick with a sword, so I probably shouldn’t have said that.
Sounds like pussy shit to me. Anyhow, ready to get your murder on?
Way ahead of you. [Shoots like a shitload bad guys with a machine gun and everyone’s all like, “Whaaa?”]
So these are my notes. Hope they help! – Zack
Photos: Aaron Williamson/Instagram