I’m a tad perturbed right now. Mostly because for a couple years now I managed to forget that Jimmy Fallon even existed. Today I was smacked in the face with the fact that, not only does his unfunny ass still walk among us, but he’ll be taking over for Conan O’Brien on NBC’s Late Night, according to the AP:
A former regular on “Saturday Night Live,” Fallon, 33, would take over sometime next year as host of the 12:30 a.m. talk show. O’Brien is to replace Jay Leno on NBC’s “Tonight” show, aired at 11:30 p.m. each weeknight….. As long ago as last summer, NBC late-night boss Rick Ludwin was quoted as saying that Fallon “is at the top of our short list.”
Expect violence in America to go up next year. Instead of people asking “Hey, did you see Conan last night?” they’ll now ask “Hey, did you see Jimmy Fallon last night?” Which will of course be answered by a well-deserved toss out our 20th story office window. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Bill. It’s not a crime if I warn you a year in advance. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go rob that bank that I warned back in ’05. Free money, here I come!
UPDATE: So, I’m in jail now. Which isn’t that bad, actually. I just paid Wesley Snipes a pack of smokes to say “Always bet on black.” And, for two packs, he’ll karate kick me in the chest! Shit, had I known prison was this much fun, I would’ve gotten in years ago. Oh, wow, a knife fight! Whee!
Gerald_Tarrant | April 25, 2008 at 10:53 am
Fallon is a huge tool. He can’t do comedy. He was the worst part of SNL when he did that, and that is saying a lot because SNL during his time sucked on so many levels. His movies suck. I think the only thing worse would have been tapping Dane Cook or Jim Breuer to do the show.
dioly | April 25, 2008 at 10:53 am
damn that sucks
Anonymous | April 25, 2008 at 10:54 am
Tired of the dating site spammer? Here is the asshole’s information:
Du Qiang, ecomfun@aol.com, 800 West El Camino Real #180, Mountain View, California 94040 United States (650)906-0405
Call the prick on the phone.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 25, 2008 at 10:56 am
He lipth to much for me to take him theriouthly. Thometimeth you have to thay no to the lipth. Thorry Jimmy, but you should have thtayed on EthNL.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 25, 2008 at 10:58 am
pssst….. #1 and #4 are the same person….. you know, like funding both sides of the war on terror…..
Racer X | April 25, 2008 at 11:04 am
Cool.
nipolian | April 25, 2008 at 11:09 am
Same douche-wad, different hair.
lost and found | April 25, 2008 at 11:10 am
I always thought of Jimmy Fallon as a bad impression of Adam Sandler. Except Sandler had some funny bits.
They White Urkle | April 25, 2008 at 11:12 am
WHAT! Why is Leno leaving? That is the worst part of this whole story. Who the hell would watch Conan or Fallon? Not one single person.
mafme | April 25, 2008 at 11:14 am
Good christ, no. I hate this guy. I thought he went away… I can’t stand his ass face.
mafme | April 25, 2008 at 11:15 am
Leno is Godawful and is unwatchable. Conan has been the best host NBC has had for a long, long time.
ph7 | April 25, 2008 at 11:18 am
Douchebag
Gerald_Tarrant | April 25, 2008 at 11:19 am
Ok, I’ve reconsidered my comment. I rewatched “Cowbell” and Fallon was the only thing about the sketch that wasn’t funny. He couldn’t pull off his lines without cracking up. Stupid ass. He is worse than Dane Cook or Jim Breuer (as long as he doesn’t do that supremely unfunny Goatboy)
I_hate_Fever_Pitch | April 25, 2008 at 11:24 am
Conan is amazing and I’m glad he’s getting a more prime spot, but COME ON! Fallon?? He should stick to Weekend Update… the one thing he was mildly mediocre at.
mrs.t | April 25, 2008 at 11:26 am
#10-Do you hate his ass face because he’s bastard people?
Auntie Kryst | April 25, 2008 at 11:26 am
@13, you nailed it. We can all expect Fallon sitting behind the host’s desk continually mugging for the camera and laughing at his own jokes.
mrs.t | April 25, 2008 at 11:27 am
I must disagree about Weekend Update Fallon…he couldn’t even do that shit without cracking himself, and only himself, up.
mamadough | April 25, 2008 at 11:29 am
my heart stopped when all i saw was “replacing Conan” but then i saw it was for jay leno’s unfunny jaw flap and all is good again. leno = fallon = about as funny as the holocaust. fallon reminds me of mike myers’ down syndrome brother.
Josh | April 25, 2008 at 11:35 am
He won’t last two years. Nobody watched his fake news abortion on SNL, no one is going to watch him try to fill in for someone he clearly doesn’t deserve to follow.
mamadough | April 25, 2008 at 11:37 am
in hind sight, NBC does continue to let carson daly keep his bullshit parade going…maybe there is hope for him yet (bah!)
nipolian | April 25, 2008 at 11:40 am
As far as I am concerned, Lorne Michaels should have pulled the plug on SNL back in 1980 when he lost the original cast:
Dan Aykroyd
John Belushi
Gilda Radner
Chevy Chase
Jane Curtain
Laraine Newman
Garrett Morris
And they had guests that were actually funny (Alec Baldwin being one of the few exceptions):
Bill Murray
Steve Martin
Andy Kaufman
cate | April 25, 2008 at 11:41 am
Conan is the best host.
I am so freaking psyched he’s taking over Leno’s spot.
But Jimmy Fallon… jesus. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed at a single one of his jokes. Why do i have a feeling this is not going to work out?
grammarnazi | April 25, 2008 at 11:45 am
20th storey!
Auntie Kryst | April 25, 2008 at 11:47 am
@21 Nip, Chevy Chase left the cast after the first season. Bill Murray came on after Chevy, and in my opinion was 10x funnier.
PS “The Bass O Matic” funniest fucking fake commercial SNL ever did..
Ted Mosby | April 25, 2008 at 11:57 am
Because they couldn’t get Adam Sandler they’re going with a poor man’s Sandler?
Media Browski | April 25, 2008 at 11:59 am
I could have swore that Fallon died of an overdose in Reno, circa 2002.
Media Browski | April 25, 2008 at 11:59 am
I could have swore that Fallon died of an overdose in Reno, circa 2002. Good for him!
http://www.funderoos.com | April 25, 2008 at 12:03 pm
fallon is an awful choice. i’d rather watch leno.
dew | April 25, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I prefer Leno to Letterman (I think HE thinks he’s funny, but I find him boring and pretentious). I despise Conan. I do not know this Fallon, so I will not be watching him. That pretty much gets rid of any NBC late night for me.
Kimmel is occasionally funny, but he’s became too raunchy for my tastes lately. I adore Craig Ferguson, so on the nights I’m up late, not falling asleep to stupid Letterman, I will watch Ferguson.
I can’t wait until Letterman retires, and Ferguson takes his place. Especially since there’s no other late night talk shows I’ll purposely watch other than Ferguson (I’ll watch Kimmel if I’m on that channel, and there’s nothing else on, but I’ll read a book instead if he gets raunchy).
Eames | April 25, 2008 at 12:07 pm
What’s wrong with you fuckin’ people. Why can’t you just give things a chance? He could be really good. All i hear is complaining and bitching.. like whining little babies. “Nah naa naa naa…nahh NAHHH…”
Goren | April 25, 2008 at 12:22 pm
He’ll be great.
steve | April 25, 2008 at 12:36 pm
FUCK JIMMY FALLON
ANYONE WHO THINKS HE IS FUNNY IS A FUCKING RETARD
Can we email NBC? And tell them to drop this douchewad?
blah | April 25, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Eames: You’re idiot. If you’re a comedian and you suck at being one, but NBC hires you to do a show anyway, everyone already knows you’ll suck. It’s that simple. It’s not like he’s some guy nobody has ever heard of and we aren’t giving him a chance. We KNOW he’s one the top 5 worst comics of all time.
After you’re done watching Fallon, you can stay up for Carson.
Goren | April 25, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Barry Gibb Talk Show? That is truly funny!
pissed | April 25, 2008 at 12:43 pm
oh you gotta be shittin’ me. Fallon? the one comic that I think is LESS funny than Dane Cook?
Any predictions that Late Night will die after Conan leaves?
http://uniformedmingle.com | April 25, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Jimmy will replace Conan O’Brien??? NO WAY!
I LOVE Conan SOOOO MUCH!
Eames | April 25, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Blah,
Yeah, maybe I Will watch Carson. I do sometimes and he’s fine.
You’re just a DUDE who’s jealous.
Janeane The Acerbic Goblin | April 25, 2008 at 1:08 pm
This is a true disaster. I don’t like late night TV anyway, but Fallon is so untalented. But he’s obviously a good asskisser of NBC brass, I’ll give him that.
Srum | April 25, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Well, there goes Joe Piscopo’s comeback.
emily | April 25, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Yuck. I’ll stick with Craig Ferguson.
21st century digital boy | April 25, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Fallon sucks and in no way deserves this break. But I don’t care. His late night run is going to bomb faster than Chevy Chase’s, and so cosmic justice will once again be restored.
sameshitdifferentyear | April 25, 2008 at 3:07 pm
It lives.
Be bored.
Be very, very, very, very, very, very, very bored.
Todd | April 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Conan who? I watch Craig Ferguson if I want funny.
karmapolice | April 25, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Ha. Fallon did always find himself overly amusing, and I have never seen anyone on SNL laugh more through their scenes. The only sketch he ever did that I liked was the two horny Boston teens sketches with Rachel Dratch. And she made it funny, not him.
I have honestly never bothered to listen to Dane Cook to know, but I assure you Fallon is a horrible fucking comedian. Just terrrrible. No one over 12 could possibly think his comedy albums are good. And I hate Jim Bruer too.
I can’t understand how Fallon got this gig at all.
Vir | April 25, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Yeah Fallon sucks, but it’s better than the King of Tools, Carson Daly, getting a better time slot.
jzz | April 25, 2008 at 4:41 pm
better than that talentless Douche named Carson daily.
Jammy | April 25, 2008 at 4:57 pm
He’s a jackoff that will last 5 minutes.
Sierra | April 25, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Well wayy better than Carson Daly. And okay, a little better than Dane Cook. I don’t really care, aslong as Conan’s still on :)
PettyPape | April 25, 2008 at 7:56 pm
#15 mrs. t- mafme is probably going home to bite his pillow.
Kareem Ofwheat | April 25, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Bring back Kilborn, the funniest late night host since early Letterman.