Jimmy Kimmel’s Peehole Tried To Close Itself Shut. Yup.
“If you like your dickhole, you can keep it.” #OBAMALIES
If the Internet loses its collective shit over anything, it’s penis stuff (See: Leto, Jared “Preatorian Guard Helmet”), so when Jimmy Kimmel mentioned at a SXSW panel that his dickhole almost closed up one time, Jesus himself snapchatted “Wut?!” (I fucking hate this place.) Via E! Online:
“The guy said, ‘Your urethra’s closing up and you need it operated on,’ and they did,” Kimmel recalled. “And then they said, ‘Yeah, we didn’t get it, it didn’t quite work. We need to do it again.’ And they did it again.”
This is the most talked about topic on the Internet right now. Humanity’s pinnacle of communications technology is being used to discuss a celebrity’s penis surgery. Meanwhile, Kim and Kanye are having trouble conceiving their second child, and all you people can do is snicker because you think penises are funny? Especially the ones you have to secretly take pictures of in public restrooms for your boss to make scrapbook after scrapbook of, I mean how many scrapbooks of penis photos can one blogger really ne– *gets clubbed in head, dragged into re-education chamber*