Jimmy Kimmel’s Wife Seems Cool
Most husbands will tell you that the only women their wives invite into the bedroom is the cleaning lady or a professional killer, and the beauty of marriage is that you’ll never know which it is until it’s too late. So here’s Jimmy Kimmel’s wife letting Rihanna into their bedroom to scare the shit out of Jimmy at one in the morning for April Fools’ Day. In related news, the state of Florida just ejaculated onto Cuba just thinking about all that good shooting. A black person in your house at night? That’s Christmas. This is Christmas. How is Jimmy Kimmel not pulling at least three guns? You keep four under each pillow and five piled next to the nightstand in case your attacker’s a midget and you have to roll out of bed to make the kill. Everyone knows that.