Jim Carrey Is Shia LaBeouf’s Kryptonite

January 13th, 2014 // 24 Comments
Didn't You Retire?
Shia LaBeouf
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So I thought was done with the Golden Globes, but that was before I found out Shia LaBeouf got his butterfly penis in a bunch after Jim Carrey made a joke about him while presenting the award for Best Motion Picture. Via The Daily Mail:

“‘Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.’ I believe it was Shia LaBeouf who said that. So young, so wise.”

And here’s Shia losing his shit despite being a retiree from the public eye:

@eonline At least I don’t get arrested for indecency on major LA highways! Or abandon love child‘s.

And then immediately folding after Jim Carrey apparently contacted him:

Jim Carrey states that he is deeply involved in his daughter’s life – I accept that,regret tweet on the matter. Apologies to both parents.

After this whole kerfuffle, Jim Carrey became the only person Shia follows on Twitter which I’m sure is a real honor for him now. And that’s actually not a joke. Shia’s young, so he probably knows Emma Stone. This is all going according to plan, because he literally believes he’s Sean Connery. I once saw him hit a woman over an unmustarded ham sandwich. She still won’t go near bread.

Photo: Getty


  1. Of course Shia does that dick move on Twitter where he puts everyone he follows on private lists so it looks like he has zero followers, basically telling the world, “I’m too cool to follow anyone; I’m famous—people follow ME.” Of course he does that.

  2. Jim Carrey, cracking a joke about Shia LeBouef, at the Golden Globes award show. The irrelevancy of all of this is staggering.

  3. Mohawk Disco

    Picking a fight of wits with a comedian. He might as well be that Shia LaBeouf guy picking a fight with anyone and losing. Oh, wait…

  4. Hugh G. Rection

    You can tell he wrote the tweet on his own because anyone he would have plagiarized from would know that child’s is an incorrect use of the apostrophe.

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    If Shia is feeling depressed, he can at least know that he did something epic that the Nazis never accomplished… which is to kill the Indiana Jones franchise.

  6. YaY?

    God, what a fucking asshole.

  7. he’s not famous anymore. Okay.


    Shia, that’s all we ever wanted.

  9. Something tells me Shia is going to go off the deep end very, very soon.

    And to be perfectly honest with you, Im looking forward to it. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t.

  10. JohnnyP

    His parents named him ‘shit the beef’, and encouraged him to go into showbiz.
    His claim to fame is battling CGI aliens who transform into cars to to pass undetected on earth… by Michael ‘shrimp-fingers/ whoa! the teleprompter’s not working’ ) Bay.
    His next project to be released after his ‘retirement’ is that little Lars Von trier 3-part uncensored opus ‘Nymphomania’ that will show far more of his naked anatomy engaged in sex acts than anyone needs/wants to see or gives a fuck about.
    R.I.P. Shit The Beef.
    Now get the fuck off twitter… How can we miss you if you just won’t go away?

  11. meh

    Yet another ex-Disney about to jump into the deep end of an empty pool.

  12. Emma Stone Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Are You sure that isn’t Debra Messing

  13. What an insufferable little asshole. There is a tinge of Amanda Bynes seeping in here, but Shia actually had a pretty good career going before he decided that sanity was for lesser artists.

  14. “Love child’s”? Hollywood once again proves that proper grammar or an IQ above 70 is not required to get your name printed in gossip blogs.

  15. ytmb

    “At least I don’t get arrested for indecency on major LA highways!” Anyone got the backstory to this statement?

  16. Jenn

    The reason Shia wouldn’t be arrested for indecency is because a) nobody would look. b) even if they did, it would only cause pity, or hilarity.

  17. Guesty

    LaBeouf is throw-acid-in-his-face, beat-him-with-a-pillowcase-full-of-bricks rage-inducing to me. I hope Clowes’ attorneys treat him like Rasputin. It offends me on a cellular level that crazy anti-Semite von Trier thought this pile of stools was worthy of being the male lead for Charlotte Gainsbourg. He’s not Amanda Bynes-like at all – he’s not crazy. He’s a thief, a bitch, a liar and a user.

  18. Emma Stone Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure that isn’t a red mop turned upside down?

  19. Emma Stone Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Skinny and flabby at the same time? Amazing.

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