Jim Carrey Apparently Wants To Bang Emma Stone

August 25th, 2011 // 88 Comments

Jim Carrey and Emma Stone have never worked together, nor do they have any upcoming projects together which makes the fact he just posted a YouTube video of himself professing his love for her all that more random and depressing:

I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We’d laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex? Everyday for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little grey in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernible signs of aging that I can find so far.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You’re pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.

A lot of people are shrugging this off as a joke, but I think it’s important to note that Jim Carrey had a very public psychological break last year that included him attacking Elin Woods on Twitter. Not to mention, the man has enough money that he can openly take a gamble like this then turn around and build a sofa out of of gold-diggers when it blows up in his face. You may think material possessions can’t fill an empty heart, but that’s because you’re poor and never felt the comfort of a money-hungry whore’s knee supporting your lower lumbar. It’s like God touching you down there.

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Emma Stone Jim Carrey
    tasfin
    Commented on this photo:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taaKvC9qUQ4
    my first viral, and its bout the video

  2. yes yes yes

    I want to have a super sad threesome with Jim Carrey and Keanu Reeves.
    We can all cry afterwards and lick our tears off of each other.
    It would be so friggin hot.

  3. Itzatrik

    She’s a young Lauren Holly.

    Hellooooo ex-wife.

Leave A Comment