Jim Carrey Responds To FOX News Criticism Of ‘Cold Dead Hand,’ Probably Shouldn’t Have

The Superficial / April 1, 2013

Last week Jim Carrey released a Funny or Die video for “Cold Dead Hand” which basically attacked gun nuts and their tiny penises along with Charlton Heston for setting the standard that the NRA should be as tone-deaf as possible in light of school shootings. That said, it really wasn’t that incendiary and mostly just preached to the choir, but it was “librul Hollywood” using its Jew powers to steal hard-workin’ white ‘Murcans’s guns, so naturally FOX News spent an entire week criticizing it. Which is fine because that’s just preaching to its own choir and neither side was really moving the needle in any direction. Something Jim Carrey probably should’ve recognized but instead fired off a response to FOX News because 65-year-old Republicans would’ve totally been swayed by his silly song if Greg Gutfield didn’t attack it. He also uses the term “Fux News” which is right when he should’ve gone, “I’m going to do anything but this.”

Via Little Green Footballs:

Since I released my “Cold Dead Hand” video on Funny or Die this week, I have watched Fux News rant, rave, bare its fangs and viciously slander me because of my stand against large magazines and assault rifles. I would take them to task legally if I felt they were worth my time or that anyone with a brain in their head could actually fall for such irresponsible buffoonery. That would gain them far too much attention which is all they really care about.
I’ll just say this: in my opinion Fux News is a last resort for kinda-sorta-almost-journalists whose options have been severely limited by their extreme and intolerant views; a media colostomy bag that has begun to burst at the seams and should be emptied before it becomes a public health issue.
I sincerely believe that in time, good people will lose patience with the petty and poisonous behavior of these bullies and Fux News will be remembered as nothing more than a giant culture fart that no amount of Garlique could cure.
I wish them all the luck that accompanies such malevolence.

If someone is still watching FOX News in 2013, after two presidential elections made almost all of its analysis blow up in their faces, there’s really no point in reasoning with them or pointing out the horseshit they’re being spoonfed. They like it, and it’s their right as an American to be dumb as fuck. So instead of wasting your time coming up with clever names like “Fux News” and calling it a poop-bag, the best approach is to ignore it completely and play to the moderates who can be swayed using reality which is always the most effective tool against gun fetishists. Reality like Dana Loesch falling ass-backward into her own logic trap and proving the pro-guns with absolutely zero limitations crowd has no legitimate argument and is literally just saying anything to tie up genuine reform with bullshit debate, or even better this “good guy with a gun” getting his gun stolen by “bad guys” who now have a gun. Then again, the fact that the thieves didn’t recognize this man’s gun-given authority as an absolute deterrent of all things evil proves Obama did it, so my bad. Bad example.