Jewel’s boobs are, uh, shrinky?

November 8th, 2007 // 52 Comments
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Singer/songwriter Jewel attended the 41st Annual CMA Awards in Nashville last night. We’ve secretly replaced Jewel’s usual silicone-enhanced breasts with rapidly drying prunes. Let’s see if she notices…

Photos: Getty Images
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  1. SSS

    I vote for what #95-rosie wrote; they look like natural boobs deflated from weight loss/age (and pregnancy? if she had a baby). Either stay away from pushups/low cuts, or get some under the muscle implants (not freaky big please). The rest of her shape looks nice in her dress.

  2. Lady Sin

    Don’t wanna look at em,don’t wanna touch em!

  3. makemepuke

    Don’t tell me…she had her implants removed and then re-implanted but with smaller implants..Pam did that once. I used to luv Jewel’s big tits and was convinced they were au naturel..I am so depressed now.

  4. lastangelman

    I can’t believe I didn’t fall down in a pool of my own piss-giggles when I welcomed her back home while thinking “shriveled prune boobs” – I am a model of restraint – proof enough I can replace Hutchinson, I’m throwin’ my hat in the ring – Lastangelman for US Senate!

  5. sayll

    She’s got her boob tape on too high!!! That’s what happens when the tape holds them too high and there is nothing underneath to support them and make them look remotely real.

  6. sayll

    Also, the weird red bits between her boobs make it look like they were pushed together – maybe she had some of the weird squishy cutlet boob enhancer things in to push them up then got uncomfortable and took them out.

    Lastly, if that guy isn’t secretly gay, I will eat his goofy hat.

  7. bobby

    NOT implants. She lost weight and got older. Her once magnificent breasts are smaller and sagging. My wife has that same issue and sometimes her chest looks perfect in a dress, but after moving around for awhile, things get a bit out of whack. I bet if she adjusted herself she’d have looked fine… but didn’t think to look down before going onstage.

  8. L.Linus

    This a woman who would be very good looking if you’d only fix her damn teeth. Why spent money on titties and let your teeth look like a vampire. We know it’s not a money thing, what in the hell is it!! By the way, what was that about her tits?

  9. H.A.L.9000

    it does look like she has scars, especially in the ones where she’s kinda sideways.

    and its shiny which could be from vitamin E oil which is used to heal scars….

    or maybe it’s from rubbing elk scent on her breasts. it is hunting season after all.

  10. jacknasty

    eeeeeeewwwww gross

  11. jacknasty

    I think she had small implants and then lost a ton of weight and the implants are in but dont fit

  12. Who's the Real Idiot?

    #93

    You did it to fill out bras and tops? You didn’t know bras and tops come in tiny sizes too? So if you happen to be slim, you will fatten up to fill out dresses for obese women instead of getting smaller clothes?

    It is so pathetic when someone with fake boobs denies that she did it to get men to like them. Then why did you do it? For yourself? If it had been for yourself, sweetheart, you’d not have done it because you’d had enough confidence to like yourself the way you had been born.

    There’s nothing worse than a liar who insults others’ intelligence. Oh wait, there is: a liar who insults others’ intelligence and has fake boobs.

  13. Ward

    I am the guy who wrote above about not liking fake boobs. I still don’t like ‘em. By the way, over the years I have been intimate with a few women who have had them. The implants were a turn-off. Please, ladies. Don’t do it. If you want to look better, just stay in shape. That’s the best way. Don’t get fake balloons!

  14. deddog

    that’s the most disgusting thing i’ve ever seen

  15. Exyank

    Eeww. I have a friend who had really small breasts, but when she was pregnant and breastfeeding, her boobs went up like three or four cup sizes. Then they went back down again, and her boobs looked like… that.

    Nothing wrong with having small boobs, but half-empty boobs… that’s not something to show off.

  16. xman

    i think she is goergeous and talented.

  17. 10pound

    I think she is a shit sucking kirby-cunt

  18. El Sueno

    At least she still has her poetry.

  19. Sharon

    That picture look so fake! Looks like someone must have done some Photoshop with it……Can’t you guys see that? Although I personally don’t like her but.. that air brushing shit is too fake.

  20. Um

    Pad much? Man, when your titties are that small you can’t shove em up like that, like the same way as if they were big…Rather than makin em look bigger, it just draws attention to how tiny they are and can be known to cause MTS (misshapen titty syndrome).

    Also, I doubt the pictures are fake…in any case, it’d make sense she’d want to downsize her previously massive rack in light of her new country music career.

  21. Kareem Ofwheat

    She has some strange circular marks around her breasts, like she had a vacuum cup on or sumthin’. Think she’s trying to pump them up?

  22. IWONKY

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  23. SoulHunter

    GOSH…I FEEL LIKE PUKING!

    http://www.spymac.com/details/?2298811

  24. POOP4U

    I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW MANY STUPID PEOPLE DON’T GET IT. WHEN YOU REMOVE BREAST IMPLANTS THE SKIN IS GOING TO BE STRETCHED OUT, COMMON SENSE. SHE IS NOT THAT OLD, EVEN IF SHE LOST A TON OF WEIGHT HER BOOBS WOULD NOT SAG THAT MUCH. IF SHE HAD A B CUP BEFORE AND GOT A D CUP IMPLANTS, THEY WOULD MAKE IT LOOK NATURAL. YOU ARE SO USED TO SEEING A-CUP GIRLS GET DD’S AND THEY LOOK SO FAKE, THAT YOU ARE FOOLED BY GIRLS LIKE JEWEL WHOSE BOOB JOBS AREN’T AS FAKE LOOKING. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THEY WERE REAL? SO MANY OF YOU ARE CLAIMING SHE HAD NATURAL BOOBS BEFORE, DID YOU TOUCH THEM YOURSELF? WHAT A BUNCH OF MORONS, JUST USE YOUR COMMON SENSE PEOPLE, IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

  25. Michelle

    Ew. At least the dress is pretty. Plus, her husband’s hideous, so she’s still a good catch for him.

  26. justtheobvious

    You would think, with her money, she could get her teeth straightened… and a boob job.

  27. i miss my tatas

    I never thought I would consider implants, but after losing a lot of weight, I now have excess skin. My hubby doesn’t seem to mind, but I can’t stand it. I just want my boobs back, maybe just a bit smaller than they used to be. I’m still young, why would I want to deal with saggy boobs when I’ve worked so hard to improve myself. Damn, my breasts looked so full and nice last year, now I’m depressed!

  28. heyjeer

    If you’re depressed because your boobies lost weight – then start eating. Where are your priorities woman!?

    Have a daughter? Why don’t you talk to her about how you are so depressed because your boobs aren’t big. I am sure she will understand – besides, it’s never too early to start girls thinking how defective they really are.

    All us women owe it to the next generation to start the body anxiety early!

    Start saving for your new boobs – forget about that awesome vacation you could take instead. It will be much better to stay home and play with the new boobies in your tv room than explore the Louvre.

  29. miss my firm tatas

    Not depressed because they are smaller, I’m depressed because of the left over saggy skin.

  30. miss flapjacks

    Don’t tell me to just get a breast lift either, a plastic surgeon told me that I don’t have enough breast tissue left, and that augmentation would be necessary if I was to get a lift.

  31. Quinn

    She’s all sparkleyyy

  32. i know they used to be BIG

    she used to have BIG ones when she was young and homeless ( she didn’t buy them ). i think she had a bad reduction and then implants put in.

  33. Alexxx

    See, this is why you don’t fuck with plastic surgery (another good example: Tara Reid) because as soon as you get a botched boob job or whatever, you can’t fix it; any more surgery just makes it worse. And people can tell whether it’s a natural flaw or you OD’d on plastic surgery and you have to live the rest of your days looking like shit *coughNicoleKidmancough*

  34. yikes

    it looks like a scar around the breast in that first pic with her husband.

    maybe breast cancer? =(

  35. CJ

    Great job of digital alteration…photo editing is just too much fun.

  36. Might As Well Take Advantage of the Situation

    She should start writing a country song about what happened to her tits.

  37. Katie

    Snaggletooth bitch has tuberous breasts. Ew fucking EW.

  38. Lol

    I bet she wore that special strapless bra that grips around your boob and took it off before wearing that dress, hence the grip marks. Or was wearing some sort of band around her boobs for whatever reason, she’s not fake there so it looks like a misshap.

  39. Dave

    Britney is great. She always has new ideas to entertain herself. Just last week, I saw her on the millionaire singles club (http://Millionairematch.com/photo/bloger). She has posted a nice proifle there. Seems she is popular and active there.

  40. Dave

    Her singing is great. She always has new ideas to entertain herself. Just last week, I saw her on the millionaire singles club (http://Millionairematch.com/photo/bloger). She has posted a nice proifle there. Seems she is popular and active there.

  41. How beautiful she is ! Some of my best friends who are long time with Nudistonly.com told me she has a profile on the nudist date site and left some of her nude photos there. Yeah ! Nudist is free for the life…

  42. Gigi

    I think it looks like a bad make-up job on her chest. The reddish-orange marks look like foundation smeared between the breasts and around (to enhance the appearance/shape?). Notice how her chest looks pretty normal in the pics of her on stage. The red carpet pics have different lighting, so the orangy make-up around her boobs is very noticeable.

  43. Gen

    I say she has capsular contracture.

    #93 You think people don’t notice your breasts are fake? Yes they do, honey. Trust me. Implants never look natural. We can spot them when you’re lying down, or when you’re not wearing a bra, or when you flex your muscles.

    I got implants for 4 years and removed them. They’re silly and uncomfortable, and they’re ticking time bombs. Please do a little bit of research before getting a boob job, implants can leak and make you very sick, you can get capsular contracture, you can damage your nerves and you definitely damage your pectoral muscles.

    By the way, my breasts don’t look like empty socks, the skin can bounce back after an explant surgery. But it’s a gamble, and if you’ve had repeated augmentation surgeries (which you’re going to have because implants don’t last), or bad skin, or ginormous implants, you may end up looking very bad. I say love to learn your body.

  44. Gen

    I mean, learn to love your body. :)

  45. Halverage

    Tally Ho! I just measured my penis and added a few centimeters and now I am off to Chuckie Cheese to find me a date!

  46. nikky raney

    wtf

  47. nikky raney

    i dont understand her boobs

  48. loisloon

    I have tiny breasts and had implants for a short time. I lied to myself and said it was so clothing and swimsuits fit better, but I realized after a little while, I did not want to live a lie and it was a huge turn off. I can always tell they are fake, even the best boob jobs. Something is likely wrong here. Natural is better!

  49. Mike Paahana

    at least she has boobs my gf boobs r so small they look like a little boy if she take her shirt off nobody would think she 1 girl, her sister get reel beeg 1′s

  50. christina

    #93 yes honey we know your little fake tits are fake, the moment you put on a bikini a small top. I live in malibu and know the BEST plastic surgeons in LA, ie the one who did Demi moore, (can’ say who darlings) and even the girls who work at his office say if you don’t need them, don’t get them because they ALWAYS GO BAD at some point. a completely irresponsible thing to do to oen’s body or to advertise- and “can’t fill out tops”? what’s wrong with this picture? what kind of bs statement is that? I know so many guys who are very successful, great values etc in biz and etertainment fields, and all of them ALL OF THEM say they would date the fake titties for a night or two , but don’t want to marry them- think think it’s gross , and frankly as a woman who was once “experimental” I kisses a girl or two , and felt a couple sets of those- and even as a woman, they were a HUGE turnoff. it was like, there I was excited ngaboutbbirua person and her body and then I was rubbing two beach balls.
    so not hot. and they had been worked on by top surgeons- ie 15,000 and more jobs. you can always tell, and they all go bad. Ladies, don’t get them!

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