This Is Whatever Jessie J Is In A Bikini

September 19th, 2013 // 25 Comments

Full Disclosure: I have no idea who or what a Jessie J is because she’s a British pop star, and I live in America where we enjoy more civilized fare like waiting for another crazy person to purchase firearms through our lax gun laws. Who’s the fancy krumpet now, England? TALLY HO!



  1. Welcome to Fapbook, Jessie

  2. Jessie J Bikini
    Uncle Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t she a little young to have such a bad case of mom ass?

  3. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Go on…

  4. EricLR

    I regard British pop stars like I regard AIDS: I don’t want it. I avoid it. It’s certainly not a good thing. But I’m probably going to get it regardless.

  5. Hugh Jass

    12 year old boys shouldn’t get tattoos.

  6. She should do us all a favour and go back to the long dark hair.

  7. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe they will scissor….

  8. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Womp womp….

  9. I’m liking those hips in the first pic, but I know they are accentuated by the way she’s standing. I won’t look at further pics to ruin this, my penis is already sad about the boobage, or lack thereof.

  10. Jessie J Bikini
    hee ho
    Commented on this photo:

    sad trombone sound

  11. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s very promiscuous. In fact, when the wind blows through her legs, it sounds like a playing card flapping in bicycle spokes.

  12. “Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” (hint, this applies to all our freedoms, not just terra’sm)

    - somebody that Fish thinks is an outdated, stupid asshole

    • JC

      “Don’t worry, bros. No one’s going to treat what we write as some immutable, holy documents that can’t be changed to reflect changing times. That would be retarded.”
      -Benjamin Franklin

  13. Jessie J Bikini
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s it! I’m tired of the paparazzi dressing up young boys in bikinis and presenting them as girls. First, some boy called Miley Cyrus now this.

  14. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure that’s NOT Ke$iha; as a Young Girl

  15. harriscandit

    She is actually pretty cool. Good voice. Main claim to fame is she wrote “Party in the USA” when she was 8 or 9. When she had a chance to record it (at age 17 or 18)she thought it was too immature and sold it to Miley Cyrus Lol

  16. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, why did she even bother with a top.

  17. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Ireland Baldwin’s ass way better.

    Ha! You heard that right! Suck it, NSA!

  18. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jesse Johnathon Jr.!! What did I tell you about dressing up in your sister’s outfits?! Go back inside and put your surf shorts on and stop giving your mother and I a heart attack!! I tell you, that boy is nothin’ but trouble.”

  19. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    You know how sometimes you’ll see an ass and say, “Man, that ass just won’t quit”? Well, this one did.

  20. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ummm, excuse me Jessie J, K, whatever the fuck. Can you please move to the left so we can see an awesome ass? Just keep going left until you can’t hear my voice anymore.

  21. Jessie J Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks better coming than going…

  22. Pat C.

    “waiting for another crazy person to purchase firearms ”
    I’m very disappointed in this. I was hoping that if I said I was crazy that they would just give them to me.

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