Tony Romo went buck wild this weekend in Chicago and reports are coming in that he decided to get plastered and break up with Jessica Simpson – without telling her. These Boots are Made For Stalking broke the story after one of Tony’s friends informed them the Dallas quarterback was all over the ladies. The Superficial received an e-mail from an anonymous source that jives with Tony’s buddies’ tales and offers some more dirt on his night out. Here’s the exclusive details:
Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over. They are taking a “break.” He could never see himself being serious and marrying this girl. He’s just having fun with her. It’s funny everyone is talking about them getting married when they are completely over. Sorry Jessica, Tony had his fun with you, and now is on to bigger and better things.
Not to be content with just one exclusive, here’s my exclusive letter to Jessica Simpson where I try to touch her exclusive boobs:
Dear Sweet Jessica,
I, too, suck in the sack. I mean, I’m freaking terrible. I’ve got references if you need them, so call me up and we’ll get down with some mediocre rebounding.
My number is 1-800-I-SWEAR-THIS-NEVER-HAPPENED-BEFORE.
Oh, and also, I’m really good at not making eye contact during conversations, so we’re practically a match made in heaven!
Your Knight in Sort of Shiny Armor But Really Just His Boxers,
The Superficial Writer