Jessica Simpson’s parents are f-cked up

April 17th, 2009 // 26 Comments

- Jessica Simpson’s mom is apparently also obsessed with her daughter’s breasts. Or she could just be trying to find a common interest with her husband. Married people are weird. [Celebslam]

- Oprah is on Twitter! Her first tweet-to-tweet was with Jimmy Fallon, and yet she continued to use the service. Is Oprah drinking again? [Just Jared]

- Elle Macpherson is still hot proving my theory that supermodels are cyborgs. It also proves my theory I’d have sex with a robot. Not counting the time R.O.B. took advantage of me in college. Last time I clean out the attic. [Lainey Gossip]

- Shia LaBeouf had trouble not falling in love with Megan Fox while filming the Transformers movies. “It’s hard. It’s really hard,” he says. Meanwhile, Megan Fox is wondering “What would Angelina do?” Hope Shia likes kids. [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Zac Efron and Jason Statham hate shirts and everyone thinks it’s cool. I hate condoms and everyone’s like “Whoa, there. I’d prefer if you not use my bathroom.” Hypocrites. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Susan Boyle is about to get that paper. Forbes says she’s poised to be a future multi-millionaire. Somewhere, Tron Guy sulks sadly while holding an eviction notice. Damn youse, cruel world! [Radar Online]


  1. Tom


  2. Spider

    Yeah Baby! Go Bare or Go Home!

  3. Barney Frank

    I too am obsessed with Jessica Simpson’s breasts.

  4. just gotta say this

    Mexicans suck.

  5. mikeock

    If I was a girl, I’d want to be Jessica Simpson. To carry it further, I’d also send personal nude photos to Mikeock.

    You have my e-mail, Jess.

  6. phil

    The Jessica mom tweet was: “Driving home in my GWagon with Jess…both are fast and top heavy!”

    You’ve got to admire her dumb honesty, especially about the “fast” part. Although she should have gone the extra mile and said “both are top heavy and have an easy-access split rear bumper.”

  7. Fatties R Us

    Who’d have thunk that Jessica is really fat and not pregnant. Not me said the little red hen.

  8. reader

    Jessica Simpson Dropped From Both Record Deals

  9. Miss

    I don’t get why she’s considered attractive when she has a manish face and short stuby legs.

  10. NY Ted

    The fucking apple does not fall far from the tree!


  11. ObamaYoMomma

    At least this dirty little whore loves her some calf implants. Stupid cunt.

  12. Darth

    Is that woman with the giant yellow bag their mother?

  13. patricia

    any parent that whores out they’re own daughter yea they are fucked up

  14. Gando

    Does their mother have Mexican roots?

  15. Rhialto

    Blonde,brunette an red.Very colorful family!

  16. catapostrophe

    “Hope Shia like kids!”

    Hope writer learn to write!

  17. Gotta love that Susan Boyle.
    It’s almost like…if you look a bit deeper – it’s not always about the Superficial…

  18. Sauron

    Holy crap! I almost missed Megan fox! Hands off frenemies!

  19. …………………………….THEY ARE AMERICAN, folks?

  20. That Bastard Tony

    The boy’s fairmones suggest he want to mate with the female. Her fairmones suggest she want to mate with Starscream.

  21. What’s wrong with Jesse’s folks? Hollywood has some crazy family relationships.

  22. name

    just lose the weight jessica! you’re SO close! just do it and then go out looking really hot.

  23. Jess mom looks like a Fiat 126, short and squatty.

    Hmm, if Megan Fox had been doing the Susan Boyles performance, I’m not sure it would have gone over. Must be when you put everything together a certain way…
    I guess BGT is not about pop idols, because Simon has said some women can sing, then rejected them because of their figure.

  24. salawhite

    Recently I found a hot club — S e e k i n g t a l l . c o m — just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don’t miss your love.

  25. If I were a girl, I want to be Jessica Simpson. To go further, I want to send personal photos Mikeock naked.

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