Jessica Simpson’s parents are f-cked up

- Jessica Simpson’s mom is apparently also obsessed with her daughter’s breasts. Or she could just be trying to find a common interest with her husband. Married people are weird. [Celebslam]

- Oprah is on Twitter! Her first tweet-to-tweet was with Jimmy Fallon, and yet she continued to use the service. Is Oprah drinking again? [Just Jared]

- Elle Macpherson is still hot proving my theory that supermodels are cyborgs. It also proves my theory I’d have sex with a robot. Not counting the time R.O.B. took advantage of me in college. Last time I clean out the attic. [Lainey Gossip]

- Shia LaBeouf had trouble not falling in love with Megan Fox while filming the Transformers movies. “It’s hard. It’s really hard,” he says. Meanwhile, Megan Fox is wondering “What would Angelina do?” Hope Shia likes kids. [I’m Not Obsessed]

- Zac Efron and Jason Statham hate shirts and everyone thinks it’s cool. I hate condoms and everyone’s like “Whoa, there. I’d prefer if you not use my bathroom.” Hypocrites. [Pink is the New Blog]

- Susan Boyle is about to get that paper. Forbes says she’s poised to be a future multi-millionaire. Somewhere, Tron Guy sulks sadly while holding an eviction notice. Damn youse, cruel world! [Radar Online]